Infamous list

UK PROFESSIONAL DRIVERS FORUMS THE UK PROFESSIONAL DRIVERS FORUM (INTERACTIVE)
41

Queue stretchers - usually a poxy little car whose driver hangs back in stop/start traffic so he/she can see 100m of clear tarmac in front of them.

Then nail it as soon as things start to move so no one can get in front of them - tossers.

42

List is getting longer than a politicians expenses form.

43

POLITICIANS!!!

44

James the cat:

Toddy2:
What about mobility scooters, the ones who aren’t actually ill- just too fat & lazy to walk

They really annoy me when they’re driving those things on the motorway. No hang on, I’m getting confused with smart cars again.

You are getting confused - not much passes my smart car !!

45

eagerbeaver:
Love a man who drives an absolutely w*nk 15 year old pretend gangster mobile with big kerbed 2nd hand shiny rims off ebay,dragging a toilet.

And you have the gall to call me a ■■■? LOL.

P.s. When your chemical toilet is full,you can empty it in the boot of your car. It will double its value.

For some weird reason your reply creased me up but it aint 15 year old it’s only 13 but still goes like ■■■■ off a stick . lol an if I sell it on, as I intend to I may well make 50% over without the loo contents considering what I paid for it, as for the wobble box I bought it of someone who’s husband recently died and wanted rid because of the memories it holds, they bought it last year for £7k and only wanted £2k now so what was I to do ? Sorry but no sentiments attached to pound notes, even though I did feel a wee bit guilty as I parted with the money.

46

Toddy2:

James the cat:

Toddy2:
What about mobility scooters, the ones who aren’t actually ill- just too fat & lazy to walk

They really annoy me when they’re driving those things on the motorway. No hang on, I’m getting confused with smart cars again.

You are getting confused - not much passes my smart car !!

Oh God you’re not one of those that like to park their mobility scooter sideways, sticking out into the road to try and pretend it fits are you? Answer me this, curious. Do you feel a bit of a plum driving one of those? I mean, when I see through the back window and you see the two bobbing heads banging off the back window perched high up on the 4 buggy wheels they do look a bit, well “dickish” .

47

James the cat:

Toddy2:

James the cat:

Toddy2:
What about mobility scooters, the ones who aren’t actually ill- just too fat & lazy to walk

They really annoy me when they’re driving those things on the motorway. No hang on, I’m getting confused with smart cars again.

You are getting confused - not much passes my smart car !!

Oh God you’re not one of those that like to park their mobility scooter sideways, sticking out into the road to try and pretend it fits are you? Answer me this, curious. Do you feel a bit of a plum driving one of those? I mean, when I see through the back window and you see the two bobbing heads banging off the back window perched high up on the 4 buggy wheels they do look a bit, well “dickish” .

Well James,
I have been known to park it sideways on the odd occasion, but usually I can get in places that other cars can’t, like corners of car parks, or on the end of a bay.
If I go out in my Range Rover I often end up wishing i’d taken the smartie, for obvious reasons. But it is surprisingly quick, It is so much more fun to drive than the other thing.
I used to take the p155 out of them until I tried one - now I feel everyone should have them. I get plenty of ribbing about it - they say 'What happened to the Range rover?, wash it with too hotter water & shrink it? - I just say - ‘oh no, this is part of the tool kit’

48

eagerbeaver:
Can anyone help me put these groups of helmets in some kind of order please?

My therapist insists on ’ new kinds of treatment ’ and says that I should ’ embrace ’ difference.
Im just interested on who comes out top in BATTLE OF THE TOOLS.

Cyclists
Caravanners
Agency
Stobarts

Thanks in advance.

A dosy helmet

49

And the ■■■■■■ highways agency :smiling_imp: :smiling_imp:

50

Car stickers that say " Baby on board ",
So what’s the point of that ?
Lorries and rigids that have " Horses " written on them.
People that talk to their dogs in a conversation such as " Do you need a wee Bobby, are you hungry, do you want your Pedigree Chum now , or after X Factor ? "
Passed or P plates on new drivers, so what ?
Virgin Airline flight attendants who like to show off their uniform by wearing it off duty on a bus/train or car journey from Gatwick/ Heathrow to their Bolthole in Devon or Cornwall.
They have civy clothes in their travel case.

51

the maoster:
Coffin Dodgers.

Thanks!

52

raymundo-i also respect a man for a decent reply.

Credit where its due.

53

eagerbeaver:
raymundo-i also respect a man for a decent reply.

Credit where its due.

Thank you (but you’re still a ■■■) lol. No you’re not only joking mate honest. :slight_smile:

54

Really annoying so called famous people on nearly every tv show, when they have no talent or skills.
Ex Big Brother winners fit this bill,old has been singers that should have given up ten years ago.
Pop stars that can’t sing or use reverberation technics at live shows to mask their dying cat impression and mugs pay to see that.
School drop off and collection days, parents think the Highway Code does not apply to them.
Park on zig zags,bus stops or double yellow lines, kids too lazy to walk a few miles, but get chauffeured in by a 4x4 that will never get dirty or muddy by going off road.
Chelsea tractors in London.
Do you really need £ 120,000 designer Range Rover Vogue to pot around Kensington to Richmond ?

55

Couldn’t agree with you more Tobes. Take Benefits Street for example. A program that is supposed to highlight reasons why some people end up struggling and live on James Turner Street.

The actual truth is that it was meant as a money making ■■■■■■■■ out of people. However,chain smoking fat scrote ’ White Dee ’ ends up making well over £100k. Who then ends up being a ’ celebrity '.

What a very strange situation. Who is the fool? The person who watches her on TV,the person who put her on TV or White Dee herself?

56

The berks who work for the DVSA and think its ok to pull across from the 3rd lane and slow right down in front of you forcing you to brake, you thinking its you they wanting to pull then they pull into the first lane in front of the truck they’re after and put the " follow me" signs on.
Instead of doing the logical thing and pulling in safely keeping with the flow of traffic, keeping a safe distance in front of the truck instead of a gap you couldn’t fit a ■■■ paper between before putting the sign on then slowing down gradually and not going from 60-0mph in about the time it takes me to shoot my load I.e 3 seconds :laughing:

57

Retards who pull out of a side road in front of you on a major A road when you are doing 50mph and dawdle along forcing you to slow down and then they take the next turning on the left even though there is sod all behind you where he could’ve pulled out :imp:
Oh and those that are behind you as you come down a motorway slip road in slow moving traffic, you waiting for someone on the motorway to leave a gap to let you on only for the bell end who was behind you to pull out before the give way markings and basically take your place and stay in the left hand lane not allowing you on, which happend to me on the M6 s/b coming on from the Wallsall, Willenhall junction at the roadworks :imp:

58

eagerbeaver:
Agreed Steve. Useless,lazy,ill-fitting waterproof wearing tossers.

List is becoming a who’s who in the land of ■■■■.

I’m so unlucky that if I fell into a big pair of ■■■■ - I’d come out sucking my thumb or find out that they were moobs instead. :cry: :cry:

59

What about the “tools of THIS trade”?

(1) Insisting upon overtaking me in the roadworks in the 6’6" lane when I’m doing exactly 50 on the cruise… :exclamation:
(2) Undertaking me anywhere. :imp:
(3) Closing a gap up the arse of another artic in lane 1 so I end up running onto the hard shoulder at the end of the sliproad I’m trying to mesh in from… :angry:
(4) Letting me overtake, and then flashing me in with upward misaligned headlights so I’m like a startled rabbit trying to get my vision back from that purple & white blotch that’s now all over my eyes… :open_mouth:
(5) Seeing some knob who’s got 50 blinged-on lights all over the cab - but the main dipped headlamp has got a bulb blown on one side… :unamused:
(6) Leaving trailers with no trailer brake on, and on such high legs that I have to prance the tractor on tip-toe over some broken pallet boards just to reach the pin.
(7) Up my arse @ the new speed limit of 50 on a single carriageway when the twists and turns in the pouring rain don’t warrant approaching my 40mph arse at that speed. :sunglasses:
(8) seeing so-called professionals using their own phone at the wheel… :angry:
(9) Leaving me with the old banger G reg that stinks of ■■■ ash & dog basket - just because they’re a full timer and I’m agency. :imp:
(10) Drivers who turn up late and get upset because I’ve come in on time - and already taken the decent tractor allocated to me. :smiley: :smiley:

60

OVLOV JAY:
Not having that, at least a cabbie doesn’t pull out at the last minute and then do half the speed limit

Happened to me yesterday in the car. I leant on the horn then shouted some choice language about his country of origin and his repatriation to it (I was really ■■■■■■ off). Missus wouldn’t speak to me for a good 10 minutes :unamused: :laughing: