his wife comes in and says"chubby, theres something wrong with my bits, can you have a look"
he tells here to get lost and go and take a look at them in a mirror.
anyhow, she goes upstairs and lays the dressing table mirror on the floor and stands over it.
5 minutes later chubby walks upstairs and sees her. he dives into the room and pushes his wife. sending her crashing into the wardrobe.
she says" what did you do that for you dumb ■■■, you could have broken my arm"
he says, pointing to the mirror
“if you had fell down there you would have broken your bleeding neck”
Martin Keown walks into a bar with a pig under his arm,
barman says ‘thats the ugliest thing ive ever seen, where did you get it’
pig says I won it in a raffle.
It’s Saturday night, and Matthew Kelly is presenting Stars In Their Eyes. A young man in a wheelchair rolls on to the stage, and Matthew Kelly introduces him as Simon. MK: "It’s very brave you coming out here in your wheelchair -can you tell the audience what happened?" Simon: "About a year ago, I was driving with my uncle when we had a really big accident. Unfortunately, my uncle was killed outright, but I survived, trapped in the car for 6 hours and had to be cut free. The doctors had me in surgery for 12 hours, but they couldn’t save my legs." MK: “That’s terrible, but I see you have legs now, are they artificial?” Simon: "No, Matthew, whilst in hospital, the doctors advised me that the uncle who had been in the car with me had passed away, but that his legs were fine, and that with all the advances in medical science, they could graft his legs onto my body. I have been having physiotherapy for 6 months, and I hope to be walking again by the end of the year." Much applause. MK: “That’s fantastic. So, who are you going to be?” Simon: "Tonight Matthew I will be… Simon and half-uncle!
Funniest cartoon has to be the snoopy and peanuts one but i cant put it on here because of the nature of it, But if anyone wants it pm an email to me and i’ll mail it back
Or just the whole Scottish premier league? The two horse race must get a bit boring??
Is that why you’s don’t want both Celtic & Ranger’s in the premiership.You would rather watch teams like southampton,villa.20million from tv right’s they get and their football is boring.At least with our top 2 you’s would get a good challenge.
Or just the whole Scottish premier league? The two horse race must get a bit boring??
Is that why you’s don’t want both Celtic & Ranger’s in the premiership.You would rather watch teams like southampton,villa.20million from tv right’s they get and their football is boring.At least with our top 2 you’s would get a good challenge.
kitkat:
[Is that why you’s don’t want both Celtic & Ranger’s in the premiership.
Ok, Stupid question from someone who doesn’t really watch football
Why don’t Celtic and Rangers join the premiership ? they’re obviously ahead of all other Scottish football clubs ( although someone will point out they get beaten sometimes) ■■?
It would be interesting to watch - they’d either beat everybody and prove how much better they are ( as the Scots think ) or get thrashed totally (as the english think)
SimonRS2K:
Funniest cartoon has to be the snoopy and peanuts one but i cant put it on here because of the nature of it, But if anyone wants it pm an email to me and i’ll mail it back
simon
No need Simon, just go HERE
Agreed, it is the funniest cartoon of all time and totally cracks me up too
