Disgrace, That could be classed as domestic abuse, give her a final written warning and tell her to get on with her domestic duties and leave you in peace. 
Nasty dogs and women are strange creatures. Stroke them and they might wag their tail, or bite you. Very contrary.
Cheers Dave.
Hiya,
Gave her the written warning GOM but seems she suffers selective memory loss
she told me she couldn’t find her reading glasses, but Dave she did remember to
bite my head off when specs were located, yes Dave nasty dogs and wild women.
thanks harry, long retired.
Some folks just never learn! 
Stop her ■■■ ration, that usually calms them down. Play hard to get Harry.
grumpy old man:
Stop her ■■■ ration, that usually calms them down. Play hard to get Harry.
Hiya,
Tried that GOM she appeared to breathe a sigh of relief.
thanks harry, long retired.
Went playing snooker this morning, lost the first two games, I told my mate John, your luck will run out, 
you cannot keep fluking balls. Now you will reap the " Tsunami" ! Third game breaks of 15, 14, 21, won that game, fourth game 16,17, and 31, final game 21, 26, 19, and all the colours ,he said I give in. 
Now then fellow OAP’s and younger members, please refrain from letting your Wives watch Lady Chattersley Lover tonight, otherwise there will be a lot of panting in yours or someone’s younger lughole. BE WARNED FELLOW LORRY MEN.
Cheers Dave.
Picture the scene, Harry (and a drink) and the lovely Mrs Gill sat glued to the TV set, and when it’s all over our hero will utter the words…“right lass, get upstairs and brace thissen”. Mrs Gill will shoot upstairs, Harry will saunter up with a glint in his good eye…
Episode two tomorrow …
grumpy old man:
Picture the scene, Harry (and a drink) and the lovely Mrs Gill sat glued to the TV set, and when it’s all over our hero will utter the words…“right lass, get upstairs and brace thissen”. Mrs Gill will shoot upstairs, Harry will saunter up with a glint in his good eye…Episode two tomorrow
Great stuff I cant wait for Episode 2, I might just learn something from it, Ha Ha, Regards Larry.
Lawrence Dunbar:
grumpy old man:
Picture the scene, Harry (and a drink) and the lovely Mrs Gill sat glued to the TV set, and when it’s all over our hero will utter the words…“right lass, get upstairs and brace thissen”. Mrs Gill will shoot upstairs, Harry will saunter up with a glint in his good eye…Episode two tomorrow
Great stuff I cant wait for Episode 2, I might just learn something from it, Ha Ha, Regards Larry.
That Mellors would have stood no chance if a ‘’ Babe Magnet ‘’ like Harry had been around.
Cheers Dave.
Hiya,
What can I say other than both my headlamps are still in good nick,
thanks harry, long retired.
Episode two,
We left earlier with our two lovers heading for the bedroom…our hero casually slips his braces off his shoulders eager with anticipation while our heroine begins to divest herself of her clothing. Harry is watching, thinking it will be a bit like the dance of the 7 veils, however, being the start of autumn and a bit cooler she has a few more layers on and it’s turning out to be more like the dance of the 17 veils, by the time she is fully doffed off and ready for action Harry is snoring gently, laid on the bed in a cloud of Glenmorangie fumes, Mrs Gill gets the hump owning to being so frustrated and gives him an almighty thick ear.
And so The Gill household returns to normality.
THE END.
Hiya.
At least you got the ending right GOM you know me better than I do.
thanks harry, long retired.
Brian has the literary knowledge to be the next D H Lawrence. All he needs now is an agent and a publicist. What about me and you applying Harry ?
Cheers Dave.
Dave the Renegade:
Brian has the literary knowledge to be the next D H Lawrence. All he needs now is an agent and a publicist. What about me and you applying Harry ?
Cheers Dave.
Hiya,
Good thinking Dave, on the three way split system by this time next year we could,
in the words of Del “Boy” Trotter, be millionaires, he does have a way with words.
thanks harry, long retired.
harry_gill:
Dave the Renegade:
Brian has the literary knowledge to be the next D H Lawrence. All he needs now is an agent and a publicist. What about me and you applying Harry ?
Cheers Dave.Hiya,
Good thinking Dave, on the three way split system by this time next year we could,
in the words of Del “Boy” Trotter, be millionaires, he does have a way with words.
thanks harry, long retired.
Never encountered a Yorkshireman who hasn’t!
I thought that he might have mentioned Harry taking his teeth out, Mrs Gill helping him off with his socks and telling him to “hang those kecks up properly or they will get creases in them, don’t just chuck them on the floor” and then telling him “that vest needs ironing, look at all those wrinkles in it” until she realised that he wasn’t actually wearing one!
Pete.
windrush:
harry_gill:
Dave the Renegade:
Brian has the literary knowledge to be the next D H Lawrence. All he needs now is an agent and a publicist. What about me and you applying Harry ?
Cheers Dave.Hiya,
Good thinking Dave, on the three way split system by this time next year we could,
in the words of Del “Boy” Trotter, be millionaires, he does have a way with words.
thanks harry, long retired.Never encountered a Yorkshireman who hasn’t!
I thought that he might have mentioned Harry taking his teeth out, Mrs Gill helping him off with his socks and telling him to “hang those kecks up properly or they will get creases in them, don’t just chuck them on the floor” and then telling him “that vest needs ironing, look at all those wrinkles in it” until she realised that he wasn’t actually wearing one!
Pete.
Hiya,
Pete, I’ll have you know I’m far too rotund to have body wrinkles.
thanks harry, long retired.
Dave the Renegade:
Brian has the literary knowledge to be the next D H Lawrence. All he needs now is an agent and a publicist. What about me and you applying Harry ?
Cheers Dave.
Too kind. It’s just that I have a strange sense of humour Dave. Mrs GOM just thinks I’m strange in everything I do. 
Here’s me, doing my civic duty and looking after her for the last 55 years and the old gimmer thinks i’m “strange”
P.S. Pete doesn’t do too bad with words…I’d forgotten Harrys teeth. Although with the lovely Mrs Gill in a high state of excitement (and ■■■■) after watching Lady Chat. on the box, I doubt she’d have bothered with Mr Gills “indiscretions”. Obviously when she got a whiff of the Glenmorangie all thoughts of past “moments” from their younger days:wink: disappeared.
grumpy old man:
Dave the Renegade:
Brian has the literary knowledge to be the next D H Lawrence. All he needs now is an agent and a publicist. What about me and you applying Harry ?
Cheers Dave.Too kind. It’s just that I have a strange sense of humour Dave. Mrs GOM just thinks I’m strange in everything I do.
P.S. Pete doesn’t do too bad with words…I’d forgotten Harrys teeth. Although with the lovely Mrs Gill in a high state of excitement (and ■■■■) after watching Lady Chat. on the box, I doubt she’d have bothered with Mr Gills “indiscretions”. Obviously when she got a whiff of the Glenmorangie all thoughts of past “moments” from their younger days:wink: disappeared.
Keep the strange sense of humour coming Brian, all good for a laugh. Harry is either worn out, or run of with some young Hoorays wife from the North East.
Cheers Dave.