MaggieD:
Hi Dave,How thoughtful you are,I just wondered if this wouldn’t be a better option, I know the bunks in this old motor of mine were never used as the chap who drove it for me never stopped
Tone could have the lower bunk and I could have a bunk up, if I’m lucky
We could park anywhere, on the Docks, or up the back passage
As Retired Old ■■■■ lives Macclesfield way he might know if Hazel Grove is still about,she may come in handy when we get tired as a relief driver.
Regards
RichardI have pleasure in confirming that Hazel Grove is still around and in “business as usual”. However, she has got wind (not the first time) of this thread and is considering her right, as an EU national, to seek employment in another member state. She is currently considering her options and is at present torn (not the first time) between a career in France or Southampton. I am trying to dissuade her against either of these as I believe it would leave a gaping hole (no, not again) in the A6 between Stockport (where she has a considerable customer base from the RN destroyers negotiating the River Tame) and Disley which, but for the mis-spelling, could have been the birthplace of a famous film maker.
Due to Hazel’s advanced age, I feel obliged to advise her that a move to more exotic climes may be more than her frail (har,har) body could stand.
Mes amis, one week ago… the wind blew…Central Networks sent me a “personal text”, there is no power at your home…we will have it back on by 2200hrs…, ho, ho…ho…
But I had other things on my mind…a John Deere, and tandem Wilson trailer, and (honest officer), around 16/20/22/■■? tonnes of best Staffordshire “golden” gravel, right on its belly in Shropshires best superglue mud…amazing how stuck, becomes glued in those situations…
Returned home to the ranch around 0100…all in darkness…drag out the generator…twirl the switches…light…music…(very loud)…and a fearfull rollicking from my other half…and why are you dressed in an all over mudpack,beauty treatment perchance? And what have you being doing until this ungodly hour…(we have very little mobile telephone connection on the farm)…sounds familiar to any married man, does it not?
Wonderful things Generators, restores ones heating, lighting, audio, telephones…then consumes ones computer, and all the twiddly bits associated with it!!!
Now starts a long and utterly boring discourse on what happens next…call the “help desk”…after about 15 minutes of explanation…which does not fit the “on screen” prompts…
Please call back…I never knew that I could climb a wall…or walk on the ceiling…
Next go…same as before…except I am sure that I was talking to some one a long way from Shropshire…I did decline to “take a few minutes to evaluate my performance”…I was too busy reaching for my Shotgun to alleviate mankind from this problematic individual…
Next day…(to explain in simple terms just how bad it really was…I had forsaken Bollinger…for the morphine like embrace of a bottle of Blackbush)…I again tried…“the help desk”…
Following the prompts…for their unrewarding results…I was finally contacted by mobile telephone…“if the signal goes…I cannot call again…it is our procedure”…by now I was in final meltdown…frothing at the mouth, painted in woad, sword at the ready, screaming foul oaths, ready to descend on the call centre tribes…
Then they sent me a new Router…what I had asked for originally…a rude piece of Chinese black plastic…but we shall see if it works…!
Sammyopposite, your remuneration is ensured, it is calculated by comparing the multiplication of annual mileage at 2.3 Euro, x the fuel consumption, (extra urban), of your “State” Simca Aronde De Luxe 2 litre, at 20kph…happy…I hope so
ROF now totally in charge of our Guilotine fleet…and Maggie D will provide the test pilots…
MOB…Fergie…I totally approve of the environmentally friendly fleet of “Pedelo Bordello” vehicles…but who will pilot them…and I have a few concerns about “Les Girls”, perhaps a visit to Pigalle would result in a more rounded applicant…and more befitting the Lycra■■?
Buzzer, I feel that you should be looking after our state transport…water and road…but please, no “firey fillies”…The Giraud N serie was a big…(free issue), attempt by Volvo to steal Scanias crown…it did not work…DAF got the business!
Fergie, looking back, that blue JL 20.200 Saviem, in the two tone blue of Allemand de Rumilly, Haute Savoy, has to be a restoration…their kit was never that clean!!! And that beautiful Scania L111 sleeper belongs to Frederic Hasson if I am not mistaken, and is the result of a big restoration, and what a beauty, makes you want to jump behind that wheel does it not?
Well Im about to try pressing the button…could be a Bollinger night…or if this does not work, then its Black Bush!!!
Yippeeeeeeee, Bollinger, (84), here I come, …remind me to tell you about my letter from the Enviroment Agency…Shotgun material I assure you
Cheerio for now.
If you haven’t cottoned on by now, I think you’ll find that the tribulations of the past few days can be attributed to your somewhat cavalier attitude to doing the poor old British lorry driver out of a job by attempting to shift an abnormally weighty load behind what our friend from Leatherhead would probably describe as “America’s Finest”.
Serves you right, you turncoat.
And don’t try giving us the sob story about how a Big J or a Mk5 Mammoth would never have coped with that measly bit of weather you’ve been experiencing. I remember in the winter of '63…
And I hadn’t realised that the Guillotine Minister’s position was to be a mobile job.- We haven’t negotiated expenses, travelling time or the myriad types of bunce that I will be expected to claim.
as minister of works i feel duty bound to point out that there is far too much of it being done ! our president elect seems to have forgotten the first rule of government , delegate ! and then delegate some more . i have agents at present in various parts of the country , i.e. spark hill , southall , bradford to name a few , locating willing hands with experience of working in paddy fields . these willing hands will be sent to shropshire in the near future to assist our president in his ongoing , heroic struggle with the elements . on the subject of expences , since mine is a less mobile position , would i be able to claim ( inflated ) exes for my bunga er mansion i.e. travel allowance to and from the paper shop , chauffeur , and other vital staff ? i think the wife might object to a pink caravan on the drive so i must forgo that dubious pleasure . further plans are in the pipeline when i have another eureka moment . i shall now have a lie down , all the thinking has exhausted me ,cheers , dave
hiya,
thanks harry, long retired.
Retired Old ■■■■:
Keep up the good work, Fergie. We’re all looking forward to the Open Day when we will no doubt have the chance to register our approval, or otherwise, of the facilities and staff.
You’ve never met Mappo…I mean Foofoo…have you !!!..
Retired Old ■■■■:
Serves you right, you turncoat.
And don’t try giving us the sob story about how a Big J or a Mk5 Mammoth would never have coped with that measly bit of weather you’ve been experiencing.
TRAITOR…TREASON…slanderous talk about our new President…you’ve done it this time Old ■■■■…MaggieD is sharpening the blade…as we speak…remember the fat chip fryer… 
Saviem:
MOB…Fergie…I totally approve of the environmentally friendly fleet of “Pedelo Bordello” vehicles…but who will pilot them…and I have a few concerns about “Les Girls”, perhaps a visit to Pigalle would result in a more rounded applicant…and more befitting the Lycra■■?
Let me alleviate your concernes about Les Girls… : they’re cheap…appreciate things are slow so far, with just one girl, two he-she’s and a sheep…but I’m still working on it… 
ops
Retired Old ■■■■:
I have pleasure in confirming that Hazel Grove is still around and in “business as usual”. However, she has got wind (not the first time) of this thread and is considering her right, as an EU national, to seek employment in another member state. She is currently considering her options and is at present torn (not the first time) between a career in France or Southampton.
She sounds ideal…obviously you’ve given her one ( interview that is ) tell her she starts first week in March…Things are looking up, I feel a promotion coming on…
Just another old French truck, this time a 1955 Berliet, cheers Buzzer.
Fergie47:
Retired Old ■■■■:
Keep up the good work, Fergie. We’re all looking forward to the Open Day when we will no doubt have the chance to register our approval, or otherwise, of the facilities and staff.You’ve never met Mappo…I mean Foofoo…have you !!!..
Retired Old ■■■■:
Serves you right, you turncoat.
And don’t try giving us the sob story about how a Big J or a Mk5 Mammoth would never have coped with that measly bit of weather you’ve been experiencing.TRAITOR…TREASON…slanderous talk about our new President…you’ve done it this time Old ■■■■…MaggieD is sharpening the blade…as we speak…remember the fat chip fryer…
Saviem:
MOB…Fergie…I totally approve of the environmentally friendly fleet of “Pedelo Bordello” vehicles…but who will pilot them…and I have a few concerns about “Les Girls”, perhaps a visit to Pigalle would result in a more rounded applicant…and more befitting the Lycra■■?Let me alleviate your concernes about Les Girls… : they’re cheap…appreciate things are slow so far, with just one girl, two he-she’s and a sheep…but I’m still working on it…
Retired Old ■■■■:
I have pleasure in confirming that Hazel Grove is still around and in “business as usual”. However, she has got wind (not the first time) of this thread and is considering her right, as an EU national, to seek employment in another member state. She is currently considering her options and is at present torn (not the first time) between a career in France or Southampton.She sounds ideal…obviously you’ve given her one ( interview that is ) tell her she starts first week in March…Things are looking up, I feel a promotion coming on…
Hi Den…can she ride a Solex…■■..
Strewth, Bewick, I didn’t realise just how expensive they would be! Are the females any cheaper? I fear this is going to blow the budget right out of the water before we get going. And then there’s the cost of the moped on top.
Retired Old ■■■■:
Strewth, Bewick, I didn’t realise just how expensive they would be! Are the females any cheaper? I fear this is going to blow the budget right out of the water before we get going. And then there’s the cost of the moped on top.
hiya,
R.O.F. Got a buddy who does a bit of rustling in his spare time.
thanks harry, long retired.
Speak to the new Minister of Agriculture and see if he can do a deal with the new Minister of Culture, H. I have an idea that it may become a full time job for your mate. This could well turn out to be self-financing if we can find a few Ozzies to shear them. Have you got any of those woolsacks left over from the “good old days”?
Retired Old ■■■■:
Speak to the new Minister of Agriculture and see if he can do a deal with the new Minister of Culture, H. I have an idea that it may become a full time job for your mate. This could well turn out to be self-financing if we can find a few Ozzies to shear them. Have you got any of those woolsacks left over from the “good old days”?
hiya,
I Never did wool R.O.F. but in my formative years I did many a wag n drag load of
cotton from Liverpool to the mills of central Lancashire so could the fan club
speaker/spokesman be sat sitting on a cotton sack instead of the usual woolsack,
I do have another mate who was a barber until his “headlamps” went out and he
say’s he thinks he can still feel his way about a few woolybacks well enough to do
a decent job of sheep shearing, come to think of it he was notorious for getting
you down to the wood when he got you in the chair the truth is it was only after
he had to chuck it I found out I wasn’t really bald.
thanks harry, long retired.
harry_gill:
Retired Old ■■■■:
Speak to the new Minister of Agriculture and see if he can do a deal with the new Minister of Culture, H. I have an idea that it may become a full time job for your mate. This could well turn out to be self-financing if we can find a few Ozzies to shear them. Have you got any of those woolsacks left over from the “good old days”?hiya,
I Never did wool R.O.F. but in my formative years I did many a wag n drag load of
cotton from Liverpool to the mills of central Lancashire so could the fan club
speaker/spokesman be sat sitting on a cotton sack instead of the usual woolsack,
I do have another mate who was a barber until his “headlamps” went out and he
say’s he thinks he can still feel his way about a few woolybacks well enough to do
a decent job of sheep shearing, come to think of it he was notorious for getting
you down to the wood when he got you in the chair the truth is it was only after
he had to chuck it I found out I wasn’t really bald.
thanks harry, long retired.
…now THAT is funny
Fergie47:
Hi Den…can she ride a Solex…■■..
“HE” will ride you Dave if you go down on all fours Those Rough Fell Tups aren’t fussy mate No doubt “Cattle Wagon Man” could expand upon my limited knowledge as he will have hauled '000’s of the same breed which are called “Kendal Rough Fell” which are only found within a 15 mile radius of the town,but mainly to the east and north.Baa! baa! Baa!,"are you shearing ? “no I’m not,go and catch your own” 
Cheers Dennis.
Saviem JL 20.200 with Henschel engine.
We could use one like this for the mystery tour to France, would easier than horses, Buzzer.
Bewick:
“HE” will ride you Dave if you go down on all fours
Don’t think I’m ready for that Den… 
.“HE” looks a bit fierce to me, them’s tough looking suckers up Norf aint 'em… Don’t think I’d bend down to pick up a 'alfpenny if I lived up your way…
Here’s the Saviem supporters club. Not quite sure who’s driving, could be the Old ■■■■ or Harry…
Fergie47:
Bewick:
“HE” will ride you Dave if you go down on all foursDon’t think I’m ready for that Den…
Here’s the Saviem supportes club. Not quite sure who’s driving, could be the Old ■■■■ or Harry…
hiya,
Can’t do the driving sorry never bothered with a P.S.V.
thanks harry, long retired.