I produced a dull sounding stale monotone ■■■■ about 20 minutes ago that just will not do the decent thing a disappear. I’ve named it Brian Matthew…
Garlic guffs for me today, dinner last night was quite heavily laced with it. I had a couple of pints in the club yesterday afternoon as well and then the wife and I polished off 2 bottles of red wine. “loose” is the word of the day for me!
Well I’m in the gym and somebody with all the grunting and groaning has actually followed through on one of the machines.
jessicas dad:
Well I’m in the gym and somebody with all the grunting and groaning has actually followed through on one of the machines.
Maybe the lycra will prevent any leakage
skids:
Garlic guffs for me today, dinner last night was quite heavily laced with it. I had a couple of pints in the club yesterday afternoon as well and then the wife and I polished off 2 bottles of red wine. “loose” is the word of the day for me!
Your name certainly suits 
brados:
skids:
Garlic guffs for me today, dinner last night was quite heavily laced with it. I had a couple of pints in the club yesterday afternoon as well and then the wife and I polished off 2 bottles of red wine. “loose” is the word of the day for me!Your name certainly suits
muckaway is quite apt as a user name also!
On a slightly different note, I pride myself in my ‘tuna burps’ they are especially pungent after a tuna pasta bake!
DEFRA has just announced a green paper on ■■■■■■■ at work.
In an attempt to curb the emission of greenhouse gasses into the Earth’s atmosphere there will be a requirement for everybody to wear a fartometer whilst at work.
The meter will fit snugly into the ■■■■ and will measure all rear end gaseous emmissions experienced during the working shift.
Employers will then have to pay a new ■■■■ levy to the government at the proposed rate of .05pence per litre at a standard ambient temperature of 15 deg. C.
There will be rebates for employers who provide a means of ■■■■ capture and storage.
Defra are instigating a blow back scheme where energy companies can collect the stored gasses from employers to use in the production of electricity. The employers are expected to be paid for the gass collected and used in this way.
A side effect of this is that employers will begin to actively recruit more Ladies as it is thought that Ladies do not ■■■■ as much as men.
Remember you heard it here first.
MysonVinnie:
On a slightly different note, I pride myself in my ‘tuna burps’ they are especially pungent after a tuna pasta bake!
Ah well on that subject, I will belch words over the cb, “bollox” being a speciality…
LandyLad:
A side effect of this is that employers will begin to actively recruit more Ladies as it is thought that Ladies do not ■■■■ as much as men.
There’s a good reason for that. They can’t keep their mouths closed for long enough to build the pressure up.
gnasty gnome:
LandyLad:
A side effect of this is that employers will begin to actively recruit more Ladies as it is thought that Ladies do not ■■■■ as much as men.There’s a good reason for that. They can’t keep their mouths closed for long enough to build the pressure up.
Ive been off work for a couple of days “on the sick” and a side effect of the antibiotics is flatulence… been feeling a bit down but this thread has cheered me up no end. Also using the tablets as an excuse to ■■■■ whenever the wife and teenage kids are in the vicinity is priceless. 
found this earlier: Japanese ■■■■ Scrolls
■■■■■■■ helps if you stay in a Queue,but boring if you alone.
Playing a Music Instrument is much more Fun.Especially a drum Kit.
You hold a much bigger Community alive.Its similar to “putting Glass Botles at 02.00 in Recycling Container” Makes also everywhere the Light switching on and People watching you.
Dont think a TV Show has that much atention 
youtube.com/watch?v=J5FCotswepg
toowise:
Ive been off work for a couple of days “on the sick” and a side effect of the antibiotics is flatulence… been feeling a bit down but this thread has cheered me up no end. Also using the tablets as an excuse to ■■■■ whenever the wife and teenage kids are in the vicinity is priceless.
My 11 month old did a follow through that made Daddy proud last night: If you can imagine what the Titanics’ hooter would’ve sounded like as it sank…that was it. The follow through coated the back of his babygrow in a colour tipper drivers would know as ARC yellow.
A girl came up to me in a bar - short skirt, ■■■■ like ripe fruit, hair in a pony tail. “What would you say if I told you I was wearing no underwear?” she breathed.
“I’d say ‘neither am I’.”
She raised her eyebrows. “Really? I’m wearing none because it gives men like you…” she licked her lips, “easy access…”
“Oh?” I replied. "I’ve got none on because I ■■■■ myself in the gents
hiya,
Setting one away is permissable in any location provided you grasp an ear and
retort “speak up Brown you’re through”.
thanks harry long retired.
Ahhhh, nothing finer than your own ■■■■. I had to take another driver with me from Trafford Park to Doncaster to pick up a unit. He threw the gauntlet down by thinking it was hilarious to ‘drop’ a few shortly after leaving the yard 
I tucked into the big box of grapes I’d bought earlier and not before too long the fruit began to take effect with some rather impressive loud and pungent smelling ■■■■■. Mmmm lovely, I thought they were truly magnificent!!!
We arrived at Tesco in Doncaster with him hanging out of the window looking greener than the grapes I’d eaten.
Should your 7 year old give you an unexpectedly sharp bat in the head whilst fun fighting, is it acceptable to pin said 7 year old down on the sofa, sit on their head and crack off a monster bum burp?
cieranc:
Should your 7 year old give you an unexpectedly sharp bat in the head whilst fun fighting, is it acceptable to pin said 7 year old down on the sofa, sit on their head and crack off a monster bum burp?
Yes, because as your sharing it with a 7 year old, you’re thinking of the kids.
Ken.