papermonkey:
Thats a very good reason to get a cb! No reason why you shouldn’t share a good trouser blast, mind you if make a mistake and follow through while your on air…■■?
“Good pair of Hadleys, driver!”
tootman318:
After a week away with no lap top this thread has made my day. Can’t stop giggling like a child
Yes, have to agree there, it’s the best fun you can have in life and completely free At our place we have annual driving assessments along with the dcpc training, and on last years run he had his head out the window for the last 3 miles retching, and it was -4 or 5 that night too!
When we had the driving assessment earlier this week he hadn’t forgotten 
My mate’s favourite trick was to drop one while we were in the car wash, you either had to sit gagging or open the window and get soaked 
, it was followed by him saying “Aaah speak to me Oh thicklips”
I can remember doing it in phone boxes and walking away too
Many years ago , the Transport Cafe at Forton Service Area was up in the top of the Concrete Mushroom,
next to the posh restaurant . One Sunday , 3 of us had a good-sized Breakfast as prices were more reasonable then . Upon our descent in the lift , and just as the doors opened , 2 of us ■■■■■■ very loudly .
As the doors opened , we saw a very posh couple waiting . They got into the lift , caught whiff , but we pressed the ascent button , and the doors closed behind them ! I bet their upwards journey seemed to take much longer than they had hoped for .
Cheers , cattle wagon man.
cattle wagon man:
Many years ago , the Transport Cafe at Forton Service Area was up in the top of theConcrete Mushroom,
next to the posh restaurant . One Sunday , 3 of us had a good-sized Breakfast as prices were more reasonable then . Upon our descent in the lift , and just as the doors opened , 2 of us ■■■■■■ very loudly .
As the doors opened , we saw a very posh couple waiting . They got into the lift , caught whiff , but we pressed theascentbutton , and the doors closed behind them ! I bet their upwards journey seemed to take much longer than they had hoped for .
Cheers , cattle wagon man.
What a caring sharing gent you are
I did a down-draught knacker clanger in trap 2 in the pub today.
I thought I only wanted to ■■■■, but after the amount of drink I had yesterday, I thought it’d be safer sitting down to do it.
That wise policy paid off. If I never sat down, I’d would’ve had to limp home.
Seems like trucker sense of humour never changes.
Excellent thread pmsl.
robroy:
My mate’s favourite trick was to drop one while we were in the car wash, you either had to sit gagging or open the window and get soaked
Even better with the heater on full 
skids:
robroy:
My mate’s favourite trick was to drop one while we were in the car wash, you either had to sit gagging or open the window and get soakedEven better with the heater on full
This. But try putting the heater on “recirculate” 
brados:
I can remember doing it in phone boxes and walking away too
Brings new meaning to the term “reverse charge”…
^^^ like your style! ^^^
In a former life working as a checkout supervisor one of my favourite tricks was to drop one behind a mates till as a fit bird was in the queue. As she came to be served I would sniff loudly, give mary a dirty look, and retreat, leaving him red as beet root.
Is that why he called you StarFish Fighter■■?
cieranc:
Is that why he called you StarFish Fighter■■?
Haha 
this truck is getting a bit fetid now. Might have to open a window.
starfighter:
In a former life working as a checkout supervisor one of my favourite tricks was to drop one behind a mates till as a fit bird was in the queue. As she came to be served I would sniff loudly, give mary a dirty look, and retreat, leaving him red as beet root.
When I ■■■■■■ on our weighbridge tannoy, I got that idea from when I worked at Waitrose; A warehouseman was leaving at the time the shop was closing and while there were still a few stragglers at the tills, said chap went into the office, clicked on the tannoy and said “good evening ladies and gentlemen”…then “sounded the works hooter”
This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband’s habit of ■■■■■■■ loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
Every morning she would plead with him to stop ‘ripping them off’, because it was making her sick.
He told her he couldn’t stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.
The years went by and he continued to rip them out. Then one Christmas day morning, as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs still sound asleep, she looked at the innards, neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts, and a malicious thought came to her.
She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling the bed covers back, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
Sometime later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bath room.
The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture, she reckoned she had ‘got him back’ pretty good.
About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face.
She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, ‘honey you were right. All these years you have warned me and I didn’t listen to you’.
‘What do you mean?’ asked his wife, struggling to contain her laughter.
'Well, you always told me that one day I would end up ■■■■■■■ my guts out, and today it finally happened…but by the grace of god, with some Vaseline and two fingers, I think I got most of them back in!’
Judging from the wifes’ expression when I just let one go, I’d guess it left a haze reminiscent of a Gardner 180 firing up on a frosty morning
I keep getting a knowing glance from the Mrs every time I let 1 slip out
My wife begs me to ■■■■ as she loves it!