i once knew a 4 yr old kid who could blow the biggest ■■■■■ you’ve ever heard , he would then mumble something that we could’nt understand , it took an age to get that he was saying " good arse " … 
i was soooo proud of him … 
Coffeeholic:
jimboy124:
However my new double man partner lifts his arse of the seat and say " squirrels " … I have no idea why he does this , but he is a scout leader …He’s grooming you.
Thinking of the children
Coffeeholic:
jimboy124:
However my new double man partner lifts his arse of the seat and say " squirrels " … I have no idea why he does this , but he is a scout leader …He’s grooming you.
Then you won’t have a hole to blow through- but your turds’ll be countersunk…
Thinking on there was a driver that I doubled with for a short time that was good at playing the lips, he once ■■■■■■ in my fridge and laughed so much about it he pi**ed himslf, stunk for days and I chucked everything away 
He still laughs about it now - git!
brados:
Thinking on there was a driver that I doubled with for a short time that was good at playing the lips, he once ■■■■■■ in my fridge and laughed so much about it he pi**ed himslf, stunk for days and I chucked everything away
That couldn’t be all gas , he must of leaked a bit …
Coffeeholic:
jimboy124:
However my new double man partner lifts his arse of the seat and say " squirrels " … I have no idea why he does this , but he is a scout leader …He’s grooming you.
Other way round , big boy 
I’ve been producing “Status Quo” ■■■■■ this evening; They’ve all sounded the same
I’ve just done the biggest crap in my whole life time. The funny thing is, i was 3 rooms away from the wife who smelt it whilst she was cooking dinner 
mickyblue:
I’ve just done the biggest crap in my whole life time. The funny thing is, i was 3 rooms away from the wife who smelt it whilst she was cooking dinner
In polite Royal Navy circles this is referred to as “Sinking the Bismarck”.
Muckaway:
Are you a loud and proud person whilst driving? I broadcast some of my one hit wonders over the cb…
Hand-Free ■■■■■■■ is anywhy legal
Immigrant:
Muckaway:
Are you a loud and proud person whilst driving? I broadcast some of my one hit wonders over the cb…Hand-Free ■■■■■■■ is anywhy legal
Sit on your hand and pump away, then present a “cup cake” to your loved one 
In a previous life as a preserved railways volunteer…
… Brian (nicknamed “Petal” for some obscure reason) was a big Nottingham ex-BR fireman with a penchant for sinking copious quantities of Shipstones’ bitter of an evening. He and his mate were working inside the tender water tank of a loco one Sunday morning, cleaning out scale; his mate went inside with the brush and scraper, Petal waited till he was at the bottom of the ladder, stuck his well-sized arse over the manhole, dropped an absolute belter, closed the lid and sat on it.
Half a minute later he lifted the lid, scurried down the coalspace with surprising agility for a big man, nipped off the loco out of coal-throwing range and stood there laughing his head off whilst his green-faced mate struggled up the ladder gasping for air and proceeded to curse all and sundry; who by this time were absolutely ■■■■■■■ themselves.
gnasty gnome:
In a previous life as a preserved railways volunteer…… Brian (nicknamed “Petal” for some obscure reason) was a big Nottingham ex-BR fireman with a penchant for sinking copious quantities of Shipstones’ bitter of an evening. He and his mate were working inside the tender water tank of a loco one Sunday morning, cleaning out scale; his mate went inside with the brush and scraper, Petal waited till he was at the bottom of the ladder, stuck his well-sized arse over the manhole, dropped an absolute belter, closed the lid and sat on it.
Half a minute later he lifted the lid, scurried down the coalspace with surprising agility for a big man, nipped off the loco out of coal-throwing range and stood there laughing his head off whilst his green-faced mate struggled up the ladder gasping for air and proceeded to curse all and sundry; who by this time were absolutely ■■■■■■■ themselves.
I’ve heard of the Gas Turbine locomotive but that
Muckaway:
Immigrant:
Muckaway:
Are you a loud and proud person whilst driving? I broadcast some of my one hit wonders over the cb…Hand-Free ■■■■■■■ is anywhy legal
Sit on your hand and pump away, then present a “cup cake” to your loved one
Love puff
Get back into bed Micky and use the duvet to explain gases and the ozone layer
I was waiting to tip at concrete plant earlier when one mixer driver squeeked out a hot one that made him “oooooh” in a Frankie Howerd style.
Why do some ■■■■■ literately smell like rotten eggs…?
And it is such a natural thing to do , Even the queen ■■■■■ but why do we find it hilarious…?
What worried me, more than anything, is seeing that this thread had the attachment icon!
Scarab:
What worried me, more than anything, is seeing that this thread had the attachment icon!
Must admit it’s very popular and anyone who say’s they don’t ■■■■ is a liar for sure!