psml
nice one simon keep up yhe good work
You dirty bugger.
Great diary keep it up.
S**t!!! I think thar sums it up.
Moving manure…The final chapter…
After the last little lesson in the finer points of ‘perambulating in the effluvia’; Pete had a right old ■■■■■ session…errrrr…exchange of ideas…with the TM; ‘suggesting’ that, whilst honored that we had been exclusively chosen for the removal of HM’s poop covered ‘frisbees’; it was not particularly fair. He intimated…at about 114 decibels…that maybe Phil and his co-driver, Ronaldo, should be allowed to participate in the honours. After much further…errr…consultation, the TM agreed and said that they would be assigned the next day’s ‘honour’…I guess the opinion of an ‘artic’ driver carries more weight than that of us lowly and more humble ‘rigid pilots’…or maybe his eardrums could not take the volume…who knows? 
Anyway; to their credit, Phil and Ronaldo duly ambled Daventry way the next day and picked up two further loads…Fantastic job guys…They admitted to us later that they had no idea how Pete and I had managed without a tailift…much halo polishing…LOL…
It was then Phil’s turn to partake in a bitc…exchange of ideas…with the TM…Resulting in the company re-imbursing both he and Ronaldo for a new set of clothes 
…Now why didn’t I think of that■■?. Phil also told him that what I had told him in the first place was in fact correct; there were at least two more loads remaining!!..more halo polishing…
This resulted in a phone call from said TM ‘asking’ if Pete and I would ‘consider’ taking an ‘artic’ down there and picking up the remainder.
After extracting promises of new clothing, if necessary, we agreed…Pete being glad of the chance to get back in an ‘artic’ and me thinking that I would use it as an opportunity to watch and learn re: coupling and uncoupling, road and lane positioning, reversing etc., etc., etc,…basically a free lesson!
So; early the next morning we transfered our gear and headed out…I swear Pete seemed about 3" taller and swaggered as he walked!!..LOL
Anyway; we arrived on site to find that in our absence the day before, the ‘Estate’ had brought a man in to install a new fence and gates across the entrance… …What was going to be a tight reverse into the concrete pad area, was now extremely tight! Also, the positioning of the gateposts in relationship to the road meant that it would now only be possible to ‘blind side’ it in!! Pete started muttering…LOL
“No worries mate. I have every confidence in you.”, I told him. “I’ll be your banksman!”
Well; he did it…first time!!..Brilliant to see!..Plus; I enjoyed my efforts to ‘marshall’ him in. All that was missing was the two orange lighted batons or paddles…LOL
Mind you; Pete told me ahead of time that thanks to his glasses, I would be quite small in the mirrors and that I should make my signals using greatly exaggerated movements…So I did…Thinking back; It must have looked like something out of ‘Flashdance’!!!..But; without the leotard!..“Oh; What a feeeeeeeeling!”…LOL
Get in there!!
Mind the muck!!..Oooooops!..Oh well!
4 very dirty, very smelly, very sweaty hours later, we were finally done…Thank God!!
Arriving back at the farm; we were told to drop the trailer at the very back of the farm, behind the pile of other Agri and Truck tyres. It would be dealt with later!!..Cowards!!..LOL
All in all, I learned a lot which was brilliant!!
The only downside?..SWMBO made me strip off in the driveway again before entering the house!!..LOL
The upside?..The TM has realised that it is viable to use the ‘artic’ sometimes. In fact he sent us out in it the next day!!
Pete has been an excellent mentor…After two days with me, he said that I was waaaay too polite to be a truck driver and has been educating me in some of the finer points of trucking etiquette when dealing with the ‘vast unwashed’ motoring public!!..LOL
Been a bit of an eye opener; let me tell ya’!!
LOL
Spent Friday afternoon causing chaos in downtown Leicester…Absolutely brilliant fun when approached with the right attitude!
LOL
Lovin’ the new sounds too…Power assisted clutch…“Chuussh”…Splitter…“Tissssh”…Whistle of the turbo…“Wheeeessss”…and of course the old favourite…Parking brake…Pssssssht!!
Drove the unit ‘bobtail’ from the farm to the yard…Lost in my own little ‘symphony’ of noises…Music to the ears it was…I was well away!! My own little Heaven on the A47!!
Might have to change my name to Simon Rattle!..Maestro of the Articulated Air-Line Orchestra!
LOL
Oh yeah; minor addendum to this tale…On our very first trip to HM’s farm, Pete backed the old girl into a dip which caused the spray suppressor on the nearside to catch on the lip of the dip and go forwards under the tyre; which then ripped the entire mudguard off…Ooooops!! On the next trip; he did the same with the offside!!..double ooops!! The old girl now has two new shiny mudguards!!..LOL
Well; guess what?..Whist backing Pete into the ramp in the artic, I failed to see a dip (covered in slurry) and we did the same to the artic trailer!!..triple oops??..LOL
To make matters worse; whilst negotiating the very tight RH turn at the bottom of the lane when we left, he brushed the grass verge with the nearside corner of the unit and tore the lower passenger step off!! To the TM’s credit, he just laughed and said that it was one of those things!!..Pheeew!
The downside is that, upon arrival back at the yard, I forgot that the step was missing and took a very long step off the truck…Squeezed the ‘wedding tackle’ a bit it did!!.. …Made my eyes water!!..LOL
The upside?..I can now hit the high notes when singing Ave Maria!! 
I have been on Holiday this week; But, prior to my last day Friday; I made up a sticker from some Vinyl Lettering plastic That I had laying around…With a permanent marker, I drew 3 mudguards and 1 set of steps on it and put big red X’s through them…Once Pete had left the yard I stuck it under the drivers side door window…ala World War 2 fighter pilot…LOL
The way I see it; two more and he will be an ‘Ace’!!..LOL
I got a one word text from him Monday morning; it read…“Bastad!!”…LOL
Spent Friday afternoon causing chaos in downtown Leicester
Errr… hello 
- where was my ‘heads up’ 
I’m sure I could have arranged an nice cuppa or two…
Which part of the city did you visit
ROG:
Spent Friday afternoon causing chaos in downtown Leicester
Errr… hello
I’m sure I could have arranged an nice cuppa or two…
Which part of the city did you visit
Funny I (as you know Rog) always have a pot or two of coffee on ■■■■■■■ all them tyres around makes you too knakered to stop,
and we even have parking.
Thanks Simon another good read.
ROG:
Spent Friday afternoon causing chaos in downtown Leicester
Errr… hello
I’m sure I could have arranged an nice cuppa or two…
Which part of the city did you visit
Data Academy:
Funny I (as you know Rog) always have a pot or two of coffee on ■■■■■■■ all them tyres around makes you too knakered to stop,and we even have parking.
Thanks Simon another good read.
He must have heard about the state of our tea/coffee 
Apologies for not stopping by guys; but the TM sprang the Leicester trip on us after we had returned from picking up 1500 tyres in Norwich and Ipswich that morning…You know how it goes; “Could you guys JUST nip over to Leicester and pick up a few?”…Some ‘nip’ it turned out to be!!
LOL
We did not get to Leics. 'til about 2ish and had three pickups amounting to another 1400 tyres to complete in about 3 hours!! We managed; but it was hustle, hustle, hustle all the way!! One was right downtown on one of the main drags…major chaos…Brilliant! The other two were in industrial areas, including one ‘blind-side’ reverse that made the one ‘On Her Majesty’s Service’ look simple!!..Blimey!!..I was well impressed!
Will take a ‘raincheck’ on the Java, if you don’t mind…Would love to stop by for a natter.
Cheers,
Simon
Speaking of Norwich; Reminds me that there is yet another little ‘tale’ to tell…Appropriate title? Hmmmmmmmmm…something along the lines of: “Revenge is a dish sweetest when served cold!”
Will post once I get the old brainbox a bit more organised…21 year old Daughter is visiting from the USA…Been a bit busy doing the ‘tourist guide’ bit for her and her College room-mate!
Lovin’ every minute of it tho’!
LOL
spd0121:
21 year old Daughter is visiting from the USA…Been a bit busy doing the ‘tourist guide’ bit for her and her College room-mate!
If it’s a female room-mate then you’ll have every young male driver on here wanting pics of both
Well; I’ll be damned!
After the '■■■■■■■ of ‘crappy frisbees’ on the Tuesday; my shoulder really started to give me ‘Gyp’…Constant low to mid-level pain, could not get comfortable - no matter where I put my arm. Difficulty raising my arm higher than my shoulder - lots of sharp pains!! I kept telling Pete that it felt like I needed to put my right hand above my head and pull it down to my left shoulder blade…although obviously I am not nearly flexible enough to do this!!
Anyway; worked the rest of the week and then went and installed fence posts at the future Ma-in-law’s Saturday…Did the gardening for my folks Sunday…Still hurting like a MoFo…Figured I had pulled a muscle or strained a ligament. Decided that 10 days Holiday would give me a chance to rest it abit and get it back in shape.
Was sitting in the passenger seat while SWMBO was driving yesterday, flexing it around; trying to get comfortable…decided to flex up and back, working against the ‘strain’ whilst trying to relax myself with deep breathing…All of a sudden there was a loud ‘CLUNK!’ and the pain stopped. Immediate freedom of movement…What a blessed relief!! 
Had it checked out…turns out that I had been working and walking around with a dislocated shoulder for over a week!!! DOH!!
Feel like a right TWIT!!
Guess I’m not as tough as I thought I was!!
LOL
So let me see if I got the message right here - if it gets stiff, give it a good tug and it will then slot in easier:?:
ROG:
So let me see if I got the message right here - if it gets stiff, give it a good tug and it will then slot in easier:?:
YOU DIRTY OLD MAN
in steptoe styleeeeee
A great read once more Simon, thanks for posting and the pictures.
I was up in the Lake District on Thursday, forgot the camera , it rained all day with mist as a back drop 
good day out though
Stu
if you were walking around and working all week with a dislocated shoulder then i would have said you were quite tough!
LO all!
Been away for the last week; in Ireland; chauffering Daughter, her friend and SWMBO around…Brilliant fun…What a place!!
Loved everything about it…except the prices!!! Blimey it’s expensive!!
Found out that it is soooo true what they say about Guinness being very different there …
Just a wee word of warning…We went and ‘Kissed the Blarney Stone’!!
Supposedly gives or increases one’s ‘gift of the gab’…God help y’all now!!
Back to work tomorrow…
spd0121:
Is it the Guiness that makes your head go like that
ROG:
spd0121:
Is it the Guiness that makes your head go like that
LOL
Couple of mornings it certainly felt that way…Apparently I also embarrassed my 21 year old with some ‘Irish dancing’…Have a vague; very hazy recollection of impersonating Michael Flattley…
'Not guilty 'yer ‘onner…by reason of diminished mental capacity!!’…
LOL
When I kissed the blarney stone, a long time ago, they didn’t have those safety rails underneath, was a bit scary
Another great read Simon
After a short hiatus…I am back.
Got a question for those of you that have been reading my little tales…In fact for anyone that is interested…(but, be warned, you really ought to read my ‘blogs’, before replying…LOL) …Anyone fancy taking over my job?
As of Monday, I wil be working my week’s notice before moving on to pastures (hopefully) more green…well at least more clean!
LOL
If you are interested, you will need to have a pretty strong constitution, not mind getting wet and dirty, no allergies to rubber and be willing to work looooong hours…last week, for example, I booked 88.5 hours…Oh yeah; a well developed sense of humour definitely helps also!!..LOL…You really need to be within reasonable commuting time/distance of either Wisbech, Cambs. or Market Deeping, Lincs. Having said that, the company has no problem with us kipping overnight in the wagons at either yard. A couple of the guys do this on a regular basis…So if you are willing to stay out, it might suit ya’.
The hourly rate ain’t wonderful, but with the hours I have been putting in, I have been taking home between £450 and £500 per week net after taxes. Not a fortune, but a livable wage in the current economic climate, methinks…LOL
All joking aside, this is a serious offer…I am more than happy to take names, numbers CV’s etc into the office.
The only downside is that should you decide to do it; you will probably end up going out on the road with me for a couple of days to “learn ya’” how to stack the ‘frisbees’ and sort the paperwork etc…so be warned!..
LOL
I will not kid you; as you can probably tell from the ‘blogs’, it is bloody hard graft. But in the current ‘credit crunch’ climate, it’s a job and they will most definitely take ‘Newbies’…The only requirement that I have not been able to get them to relax on, is the 25 years of age thing…sorry if you are under that.
The bad news…At the moment, unfortunately, I am driving an 07 plate Iveco Eurocargo POS…Before that I was in ‘Hog Heaven’ for a month or so, driving a Scania 26 tonne 6 legger; which I loved!!..The good news is that the Eurocargo is going (straight to the scrapyard if there is any justice!!! LOL)…to be replaced by a Volvo 26 tonne 6 ‘legger’…Drove one today; lovely bit of kit!!
Let me know if you are interested, either on here or by pm. I will take all details in with me Monday afternoon…Obviously, I cannot make any promises regarding who will get the job, but they do like me and will listen to what I have to say; within reason.
Hope this helps someody out…It has given me a lot of very valuable experience in a very short time. The lads you would be working with are a great bunch…drivers, yardmen and managers. The ‘crack’ (or is it ‘craic’) is great!!
Best wishes to all,
Simon