And for your efforts I’m eternally grateful mate, you are a true gent 
Yet another great blog
Always brightens up my day
I never get tyred of them 
I loved the address “beside the hedgerow”. Classic!
You poor things! I was laughing and wincing for you both at the same time. 
I have a horse - does that make me high maintenance? 
(and yes, while doing certain tasks around horses you learn pretty quickly not to touch your face without washing your hands first!) The smell of horse manure is not particularly pleasant — but cow excrement — wow! 
That’s something else entirely! 
Just the thought of it makes me want to gag.
On a serious note, though, for H&S reasons you shouldn’t really be asked to do the job because of the cow….slurry on the tyres, let alone the weight of the tyres with no tail-lift on the truck.
But I know this is the real world…. 
Seeing the size of those agri tyres, you have every right to insist to your TM that you pick up the next loads with a vehicle with a functioning tail-lift — someone could get hurt trying to get those up into your old DAF girl!
Could the nice horsey Chartered Surveyor lady not arrange for some of the agricultural machinery on the estate to extricate the tyres from the slurry pit for you (presumably that’s how they got there in the first place) — or would that reduce the price your firm is getting for each tyre?
She would probably take pity on you now, as you fell on your face and prostrated yourself in front of her ……Just a thought….
If your TM doesn’t give you a tail-lift next time, make sure you and Pete surround him in a pincer movement to give him a nice, affectionate, matey hug when you get back — with your “slurryproofs” still on! I’m sure he’ll come round to your way of thinking for the next trip!
Could the thread below have been timed any better - “How to keep the cab smelling nice”:
The timing made me smile. Did you pass OllieNotts on your travels, by any chance - your distinctive “perfume” may have inspired his thread!
As for SWMBO — well, it must be love - she let you back in the house without a shower. Most wives would have hosed you off in the back garden (preferably someone else’s!) before allowing you to even step over the threshold to leg it up to the bathroom!
Well, hats off to you and Pete for getting the job done “Transport — We Deliver!”
Pete does seem to be metamorphosing into Muttley, though. Is it the job, or………!!! 
LoadsOfHorses:
I loved the address “beside the hedgerow”. Classic!You poor things! I was laughing and wincing for you both at the same time.
I have a horse - does that make me high maintenance?
On a serious note, though, for H&S reasons you shouldn’t really be asked to do the job because of the cow….slurry on the tyres, let alone the weight of the tyres with no tail-lift on the truck.
But I know this is the real world….
Seeing the size of those agri tyres, you have every right to insist to your TM that you pick up the next loads with a vehicle with a functioning tail-lift — someone could get hurt trying to get those up into your old DAF girl!
Could the nice horsey Chartered Surveyor lady not arrange for some of the agricultural machinery on the estate to extricate the tyres from the slurry pit for you (presumably that’s how they got there in the first place) — or would that reduce the price your firm is getting for each tyre?
She would probably take pity on you now, as you fell on your face and prostrated yourself in front of her
If your TM doesn’t give you a tail-lift next time, make sure you and Pete surround him in a pincer movement to give him a nice, affectionate, matey hug when you get back — with your “slurryproofs” still on!
Could the thread below have been timed any better - “How to keep the cab smelling nice”:
The timing made me smile. Did you pass OllieNotts on your travels, by any chance - your distinctive “perfume” may have inspired his thread!
As for SWMBO — well, it must be love
Well, hats off to you and Pete for getting the job done “Transport — We Deliver!”
Pete does seem to be metamorphosing into Muttley, though. Is it the job, or………!!!
Well now; Let me see…
In reply to your questions…
It’s not the horse that would clasify you as ‘High Maintenance’ - it would be the attendance at Polo matches, along with the associated Gucci/Versace/Louis Vuitton/Jimmy Choo outfit worn during the ‘treading of the divots’ between rubbers!!
LOL
Supposedly there will be a ‘reach truck’, with operator, there to help this time…I’ll believe it when I see it!! As for the 'Horsey Lady and prostrating myself before her; She’s probably used to it from her ‘servants’! To her, it’s perfectly normal and she barely notices it any more!
LOL
She was cute tho’!
She could have ‘surveyed’ me any time!! 
LOL
Not sure whether he was one of the trucks I saw that day. But; I did notice that we seemed to have less trouble maintaining safe separation distance from other trucks on the motorways than usual! Even the flies were making U-turns!
LOL
I think the only reason SWMBO let me get past her is that I threatened to give her a hug!!
LOL
I’m sure I don’t know what you mean!!!..I think I am very easy to work with!!
LOL
whats the pay per hour at your place? if you don’t mind me asking?
Not at all mate!!
Simple answer is…not nearly enough for what we do!!
LOL
pm sent!
Cheers,
Simon
Normally at this stage having read your exploits I think that takes me back and remember some of my own experiences and mistakes.
I have done some crap dirty and hard work in my time but you beat me this week.
All I can say is if ever I start running trucks again with dedication and loyalty like that you gotta job mate.
Keep up the good work on the blog it almost makes me want to go trucking again.
Thanks we all appreciate the read.
Data Academy:
Normally at this stage having read your exploits I think that takes me back and remember some of my own experiences and mistakes.I have done some crap dirty and hard work in my time but you beat me this week.
All I can say is if ever I start running trucks again with dedication and loyalty like that you gotta job mate.
Keep up the good work on the blog it almost makes me want to go trucking again.
Thanks we all appreciate the read.
Cheers for that!!
Careful tho’; I might hold you to the promise!!
LOL
Thanks again,
Simon
P.S. PSSSSSSHT!..Ya’ gotta love it!..I still do!
LOL
spd0121:
Data Academy:
Normally at this stage having read your exploits I think that takes me back and remember some of my own experiences and mistakes.I have done some crap dirty and hard work in my time but you beat me this week.
All I can say is if ever I start running trucks again with dedication and loyalty like that you gotta job mate.
Keep up the good work on the blog it almost makes me want to go trucking again.
Thanks we all appreciate the read.
Cheers for that!!
Careful tho’; I might hold you to the promise!!
LOL
Thanks again,
Simon
P.S. PSSSSSSHT!..Ya’ gotta love it!..I still do!
LOL
You are welcome to
Thanks for the effort you put into your blog after a blooy hard weeks work it’s appreciated
Rick
P.S. PSSSSSSHT you got me using this in the classroom they think the old ■■■■■ finally lost it!
Hmmm, the nearest I get to all that is sugar free polos, so I guess I’m just a low-maintenance commoner!!!
I love reading all your bloggs, a source of inspiration for all us newbies. Realy cheers me up reading how your weeks are going. If im honest reading about your days at work is the only thing keeping me going in my quest to becoming a trucker. Im so determined to be in the front line when things start to pick up, so focused.
Keep up the good work mate, have you thought about maybe writing a book■■?
Another brilliant read thanks for going to all the the trouble of posting especially after a long day/week very much appreciated
To everyone that has made a kind comment about my little tales…A huge thank you!! I really do appreciate it!
Been out playing in a ‘big boy’s toy’ this week (Artic)…I am now insanely jealous of those folks that get to drive them daily…LOL… and will be adding my C+E just as soon as I can sort out the necessary time off from work!!
Absolutely bloody brilliant!!
Blog to follow this weekend!
You have been warned!
PSSSSSSSSHT!
Simon
Looking forward to another SOOPA-DOOPA read
Si I saw you today on the a45 you were in the queue to get on the roundabout at wellingborough, I was flashing like a loony but you didnt see me 
garnerlives:
Si I saw you today on the a45 you were in the queue to get on the roundabout at wellingborough, I was flashing like a loony but you didnt see me
If you were the guy flashing right after the roundaout Southbound, we did notice you, just did not realise it was you …Maybe some Mickey Mouse type ears are in order?
LOL
Will know better next time; I promise!!
Cheers for the wave anyway!
Simon
I was in a little red cinquecento i’m suprised i made it to work and back in one piece to be honest 
I was too embarassed to toot the horn, as it sounds wimpier than a bell on a push bike, you seemed to be in deep conversation and neither of you were looking at the road but its fine as you were stationary, before anyone hounds you for not keeping eyes on the road
garnerlives:
was in a little red cinquecento i’m suprised i made it to work and back in one piece to be honest
Oi !! - I’ve had 2 yellow cinquecentos and 2 yellow Ceicentos over the past 12 years - I loved them - not got one now cos a big truck killed it on the M6 and they do not make new right hand drives any more
Right! More moving crap around:
Have subsequently learned that we were not working for Lord So and So; we were in fact working directly for Her Maj!!
Apparently it is one of her estates!! Blimey!!
I have now officially been awarded the MBE.
Henceforth my official Title is Simone de Merde MBE (Mover of Bovine Excrement!)
Was wading around in the stuff four 4 hours on the second day:
Pete my co-driver wallowing around in it too! Officially now known as - Pedro de la Mierda CBE (Co-mover of Bovine Excrement)
As a new member of the ‘Blue Bloods’ I shall expect full obeisance and much bowing and genuflection when we all meet at Peterborough!
And; naturally; since it is so common to have to carry money on one’s person, one does not stoop so low as to purchase one’s own drinks; Does one?
LOL
