Silver_Surfer:
Had one chap put ad blue in the windscreen washer bottle. Motor looked like it had been through a Siberian blizzard.
i’ve done that 
a case of mistaken identity with a watering can .took bloody ages for it to dilute enough and the frost effect to go away.
Cotswoldcrunch:
Has anyone noticed how employers seem to appreciate the 'tards who do these silly things more so than the driver who comes in, does his job and goes home?
Possibly something to do with the Disability Discrimination Act.
mike68:
Despite a detailed map and risk assessment our very own frank spencer got lost, he attempted to turn around in a narrow lane the end result was the unit and trailer being recovered with half a tree poking out of the front.This particular thread should run and run .
Sounds similar to the fella at our place who took a decker out, missed the M25 split from the M4, went to the next junc to try and turn around and got “forced” to head towards heathrow airport and ended up causing damage to the tunnel that takes you into the airport
Fatboy slimslow:
Was working for stobrats, and went to the old crick despot about seven years ago and dropped my empty in. Got next job for PURFLEET and listened to a transport manager giving precise instructions to two polish lads " UPTO tossco Livingston, drop and swap and return to crick despot! "Off they went to Livingston, swapped with each other and returned to crick! Seven hour drive non stop, swap trailers ( empty by the way !
) and a quick hour for lunch and seven hours return journey with no break!
thank you 15 hours shift no mither and a nice drive too!
Rubbish!! 
They would NEVER send an empty trailer to Livingston never mind 2 
I know of one who took a tri 50 mile down the road ,opened the back door too tip it,should of been full of loaded cages,but was full too the back door of rsu( rubbish) ,you’d of thought he’d have twigged on his w/r/c the fridge was switched off,and there was no seal on the back door,right number would have helped as well.
Cue 4 months on,takes a tri 70 ish miles too shop,open back doors too find it full of loaded cages ,but not ones for that shop ,did he check the tri number,seal number,apparently yes,but the sun was in his eyes at the time ,which caused him to get the wrong one.
Then there’s the driver who ended up at brigghouse store and not brigg ,the driver who was sent from goole- donny but ended up at immingham 
The driver who sat at did cot waiting too be tipped for a hour,apparently had dagenham load on,it was because he pulled it off bay at depot 
,then moaned like hell when they told him too take it too dagenham.
I could right a book on it,but that’s enough for now
When I worked at Ancliff Ellsmere Port a friend of mine well known for night clubbing without his wife came in at 5am hooked up his tank and went to the sausage factory at Moodiesburn north of Glasgow he had to open the lid for a pump off and it was empty when he got back (took a night out to) he told the boss he thought the Atkinson with 240 Gardner was pulling really well up Beatock he did not survive this one was sacked
I worked at JET Ellsmere port me and a friend of mine got sent double manned on a Saturday to Workington and white haven we did Workington and then to white haven this drop had a steep hill sloping down we done the drop and my turn to drive home this vehicle was a 8 wheeler AEC not Mammoth Major Mercury I think my mate walked to the top of the hill to the entrance from the cab could not see oncoming traffic because of headges so three time he had to stop me as traffic came round the corner as I moved back the low air buzzer came on and the vehicle slid down the hill my mate grabbed the front bumper screaming oh no no all I could see was his boot marks on the shale as he was dragged down the hill I just managed to stop it with the ratchet hand brake oh how we laughed as we surveyed his torn trousers and scuffed boots I seen him last week ans we had another giggle about that day
An ex work mate of mine was parked up half way up a large slope at a delivery point, (Birds Eye, Hull). His transport manager went over to wake him and told him to drop his trailer where it was and go and collect another one from around the corner, being half asleep he climbed out of his cab and pulled the pin then watched as the trailer rolled down the slope, ripped all the lines off, rear end of trailer lifted up as the front of the trailer dropped as it cleared the unit, rolled 40 feet down the slope and it ended up with the rear of the trailer sat ON the loading bay.
robbo99:
An ex work mate of mine was parked up half way up a large slope at a delivery point, (Birds Eye, Hull). His transport manager went over to wake him and told him to drop his trailer where it was and go and collect another one from around the corner, being half asleep he climbed out of his cab and pulled the pin then watched as the trailer rolled down the slope, ripped all the lines off, rear end of trailer lifted up as the front of the trailer dropped as it cleared the unit, rolled 40 feet down the slope and it ended up with the rear of the trailer sat ON the loading bay.
Something bothering my wee little brain about this. He was on hill, so unit park brake on or whole lot would have gone. lines connected. so why weren’t trailer brakes on when he pulled pin? Do some units not do that?
dozy:
I know of one who took a tri 50 mile down the road ,opened the back door too tip it,should of been full of loaded cages,but was full too the back door of rsu( rubbish)
Cue 4 months on,takes a tri 70 ish miles too shop,open back doors too find it full of loaded cages ,but not ones for that shop
Then there’s the driver who ended up at brigghouse store and not brigg
The driver who sat at did cot waiting too be tipped for a hour,apparently had dagenham load on,it was because he pulled it off bay at depot
I could right a book on it,but that’s enough for now
you could quite easily write 2 or 3 books from the goole depot alone lol.
I remember the time a driver (not agency ) took a 10 metre trailer all way to Bolton Extra and didn`t realise untill he got on the bay he should have gone to Bolton-Upon-Dearne 30 minutes away. them there tesco maps aint too good but the seal was correct.
what about the guy (also NOT agency again) told to get a blue or green and go to (cant remember name of place was leeds or bradford way). He ended up calling in because they couldn`t load his BLUE fridge lmao
Its not always the drivers that amaze me there tho the planning is mystifying at times too. A friend of mine had a split load last year 2 drops, 42 cages for Scunthorpe and 1 single solitary cage of crisps for Whitehaven, you couldn`t make it up…
there was a split load recently which made me chuckle. Goole RDC to Wisbech, tip 9 cages and the second drop was Goole store. A full load to wisbech and almost a full load back to goole.
We had a driver not so long ago who took an empty double decker to cairnryan instead of a full one. Worryingly, he never noticed but neither did the manager who gave him his paperwork or the security guy
Another driver and me,got the trailer numbers wrong.
I had got from the UK to Southern Spain.
The lettering and numbers were quite similar.
He had took my trailer,and i had taken his.
We swapped over with no harm done.
A few years ago when I was working on a building site a new Foreign chap who had recently started working as a telehandler driver was told to go up and fill the telehandler with diesel, a few minutes later he came back up the site at 1mph with the bucket on the front full to the brim with diesel
th2013:
robbo99:
An ex work mate of mine was parked up half way up a large slope at a delivery point, (Birds Eye, Hull). His transport manager went over to wake him and told him to drop his trailer where it was and go and collect another one from around the corner, being half asleep he climbed out of his cab and pulled the pin then watched as the trailer rolled down the slope, ripped all the lines off, rear end of trailer lifted up as the front of the trailer dropped as it cleared the unit, rolled 40 feet down the slope and it ended up with the rear of the trailer sat ON the loading bay.Something bothering my wee little brain about this. He was on hill, so unit park brake on or whole lot would have gone. lines connected. so why weren’t trailer brakes on when he pulled pin? Do some units not do that?
Not too sure back in the old days, but thats what happened
When I was on DHL a few years back had an agency driver in and he had a load for the Ikea in Southampton that was being built at the time. 1 drop easy! I said to him do you have a SatNav? He said no. I said ask some of the others drivers and they will tell you where it is. He came back in five minutes later and said they’ve told me to head for the docks and I cant miss it? I said yes that’s right. OK he said and off he went. Croydon to Southampton for an 11am delivery leaving at 06:30ish, no problem! At 11:30 I get a call from Ikea, where is the load? No trackers then , so I ring him up. After 20 minutes he eventually answers the cab phone. Where are you I say. I am lost he says. “I cant find the docks” is the sentence that will live with me forever. “Docks? There huge, what do you mean?” I says to him. “I’ve asked about ten people and no-one has a clue” I says to him where are you? Northampton he says! Why are you there I ask, well I didn’t know where Southampton was, but I knew where Northampton was so I guessed they must be close!
Proper numpty!
jay0:
A few years ago when I was working on a building site a new Foreign chap who had recently started working as a teleporter driver was told to go up and fill the teleporter with diesel, a few minutes later he came back up the site at 1mph with the bucket on the front full to the brim with diesel
I’d love to see the day teleporters replace telehandlers on building sites.
This tale is about daftness in a different context. 2of us going to Italy me to Reggio de Calabria toe of Italy the other driver to Venice with a load of cow hides we got to customs at Ventemilia I was fine but the customs men thought he had cattle on board and wanted to get the vet out to check cattle. A quick think and talk with my mate he got on all fours and started to moo like a cow , I then walked up to him put a finger to his head and shouted BANG he went down and then started to take his coat off then it twigged with them all the drivers and customs men laughed and much hand shaking off we went
m1cks:
I’d love to see the day teleporters replace telehandlers on building sites.
I think Sandersons’ used to make a telehandler called a teleporter. Whoever it was it was an awful thing compared to Cat and JCB offerings.
Back to daftness, the banksman on a site one day told me to “reverse right back driver, there’s nothing infront of you.” When I laughed at him and told him how daft that instruction was, I got the typical “ah you see what I’m sayin!”
No , I heard what you were saying, not saw.
seth 70:
When i first past my test i had to go to boalloy at congleton for a new curtainsider,i had never been before and was going unit only[bobtail],i went back in the office after a hour and ask where this bob tale was so i could follow him ,
jay0:
A few years ago when I was working on a building site a new Foreign chap who had recently started working as a teleporter driver was told to go up and fill the teleporter with diesel, a few minutes later he came back up the site at 1mph with the bucket on the front full to the brim with diesel