Weather Forecasters say that there is 100% chance of snow in all parts of Britain by the weekend. This means endless coverage on the news of the country grinding to a halt because of a few flakes of snow.
Cries of, “But we are not used to it,” will ring out. Which is of course the same cries used last year, and the year before that, and the…, well you get the picture
Panic buying, with pictures on the news of empty shelves in the supermarkets, as people buy 25 gallons of milk and 100 loaves of bread. They of course don’t normally use that in a month never mind a couple of days but you can’t have enough when it snows.
Drivers who are happy to drive at 90 mph in heavy rain or fog, inches from the vehicle in front and are never seen dead in lane one - well only when it has all gone horribly wrong, now start to drive at 2 mph in lane one. This bring the roads to a halt and we can all enjoy the stories of how it is the councils fault they had to spend 10 hours stuck on the AXXX/MXX when all they wanted to do was get home to Nether Buttocks-in-the-Snow, so they could be with their families in this time of national crisis.
Pictures in the Sun of some nut job attempting to ski down the road on a couple of planks he has pulled from his fence, while using a garden cane and a walking stick as ski poles, under the headline, “It’s Snow Joke.”
Sky News studio with the lovely Kay Burley telling us that there are reports of heavy snow in (insert whatever place takes your fancy) and they are going over to their reporter on the scene. Cut to shot of said reporter wearing enough bad weather gear for a trip to the North Pole, while in the background a couple of flakes are floating about trying to decide whether it is worth the effort to land.
Kay: We have had reports of snow, what can you tell us?
Reporter: It’s snowing. (In the background a fat bloke in a t-shirt wanders past peering into the camera and waving to his mum.)
Let me see if this works, this is a letter i sent to the local paper about Gritting as it has now been took over from Rossendale council, first thing lancashire council did was remove all our grit boxes and will not grit the estate anymore, and it is a steep hill down to the main road with a drystone wall opposite, it could hurt
Well here we go again it’s competition time, and as usual at this time of year the name of the game is, hunt the gritter. Funny how when i came home from work on Thursday they had gritted from Burnley up to Boundary garage at Loveclough, but not from there to Rawtenstall, and the next morning on my way to work still no grit on the Rossendale side of the boundary.
Now perhaps i am being a bit thick but i knew at the beginning of this week that it was going to be freezing so how come none of the people, that my council tax, road tax fuel tax and any other kind of tax you would like to mention, pays for, can ever get it correct, at least this year Rossendale council cannot be blamed, or could they, do they ever fight our corner, why do we never get our roads resurfaced, Rossendales roads are a training ground for four wheel drives, i have heard the British Army may be interested in using them for training tank crews as the terrain is ideal. Did anyone from Rossendale council complain somehow i doubt it. Who is going to be responsible when somebody gets killed because the roads are full of ice, the poor driver of course. Anyway would someone like to explain where the gritters were, were they up Sharneyford gritting and abducted by Aliens in a ufo, you may as well believe that as whatever excuse lancashire council come up with, perhaps they are hoping we all drop dead of bird flu then they do not have to grit at all, if they can’t do a simple job of gritting, how the hell are they going to look after the palm trees when global warming sets in.
Our company has prepared for snow. Of the 2 4x4’s in the yard the one I can drive has had a problem and now belches out more smoke than the local fog, and that’s it for me.
If it snows then I shall just have to be careful where I drive, what I carry with work and what extra supplies I carry…
Either way, as long as I keep going carefully it won’t be too bad…
I will feel a bit like captain Oates on Friday, “im going to work dear I may be a while” I will plan to stay away from the M11, this Winter buisness sneaks up on us every year, when I worked in Bradford the first snowflake spotted and the offices and shops used to empty like rats leaving a sinking ship, 1" of snow and the city ground to a standstill.
The first person I hear say this year “its too cold to snow” I will drop with a left hook,
It may snow in Scotland, NYM, Peak District and down the East Coast but I think the rest of us are safe, I take the weather forecast with a pinch of that stuff they spread on the roads
The first person I hear say this year “It’s to cold to snow” i will drop with a left hook.
Guy, i know what you mean my missus says it every year. I keep telling her ever seen a picture of Sibera, 70 degrees below and it’s still
bloody snowing
I guess that you get all the road for trucks as all car drivers are too frightened for little bit of snow
Seriously, does snow really scare peoples so much over there that it cause same effect on shops that general strike would cause? I mean that trucks can still move even if cars with summer tyres can’t and I suppose that in many cases there are shops inside reasonable walking distance. Also driving on new asphalt when it’s raining isn’t that much different when driving on snow (not much traction in neither cases).
Snow■■?
In the south east of Essex (namely Southend) we hardly get the white stuff (the whole country can be covered but drive into Southend and there’s nothing).
The last time we had decent snow about twenty years ago one of the local councils took so long finding where they had stored the snowploughs that it had melted before they could use them.
When they were young we bought the kids a sled, it is unused in the shed, and the kids are now about twenty.
If it is going to snow then can anyone let me have the phone number of the Essex Mountain Rescue Service (instead of St Bernards they use Rottweillers).
I think you can lay some of the blame onto council’s for not clearing the road’s .
I remember traveling down the A14 and it was white out but the road was clear this time ( got stuck for 8 hours the previous year )
Turned onto the A45 and it was rubbish but still driveable .
Got to my next collection , nobody reported any problem’s .
Turned onto the A45 toward’s the M1 and drove straight into the snow covered queing road’s …Spent a couple of hour’s getting to the motorway (ffs) and the motorway was covered in snow …Got into leicestershire which had the same snow condition’s , so much so the airport was closed , but the motorway was cleared …
Work that one out
Look. We’re professional drivers. We’ll survive. We’ve managed with the other drivers on the road behave like drunk lemmings and found the white stuff…
Just look at how many people have been driving around with no lights or too many lights in this foggy weather!!!
Just tell your boss that you’ll be late due to other traffic on the roads when it snows and relax. Nowt you can do about it…
Or to be more precise, cars with ■■■■ poor drivers.
My mini with it’s low ground clearance, wide low profile tyres hasnt got stuck in it yet, bit of wheel spin yeah, but when they spin you dont just floor it and wait for them to catch fire!
In the ‘heavy’ snow we aparently had in February, cant ever remember having ‘heavy’ snow here personally! Norway, they have heavy snow! Anyway in this ‘heavy’ snow we had i was out in my Tesco.com van round the country lanes as usual, no you couldnt belt about at 50, but getting about wasnt a problem. I was actually laughing at all the customers who were telling me they were surprised i got through etc etc
My fellow ‘drivers’ were all moaning about how dangerous it was and how they couldnt do their job in it. I deliberatly picked the worst affected areas and got back in good time, just to ■■■■ them off!
Last year they actually refused to go out in it and instead went out the following night with twice as much on, after it had all melted and refrozen as ice!
Bunch of amateurs i used to work with, but it’s just the way ‘idiots’ in the country act.
One even had the nerve to say i was stupid for going out in it!
would miss all the fun over here with the kids on Saturday in the snow HOPEFULLY…