Many people are familiar with the childrens rides often found at service stations across the country. For a few coins, the child may sit within a cab while the ride moves to and fro, and side-to-side, often accompanied by music and flashing lights. These rides are generally considered to be harmless. However, with the appearance of a new model, based on an HGV, some people are suspecting something more sinister. Miss Polly Ticly-Korect, chairperson of the National Organisation Serving Everyday Youngsters (NOSEY) advised us:
“We believe these contraptions to be a disgrace, and should be removed from service stations immediately”,“They are not simply entertainment rides for our younger citizens, but are being used by haulage companies as a Youth Training Scheme (YTS), with the intention of pressing suitable candidates into a career as an HGV driver”,“We can only see this causing friction amongst young persons, escalating in aggression!”
The concept of sponsoring a child, with the intention of offering a future career is not new. It is frequently found in football, where talent scouts tour the country in the hope of finding tomorrows football stars, trying to sign them there and then. This in itself raises little attention, except the odd case when a child was signed who was still in it’s mothers womb, on the basis of how often the child kicked, and the estimated quality of it’s kicking. Miss Polly Ticly-Korect believes she has seen evidence that the HGV YTS scheme is nowhere near as harmless:
“I first noticed the potential hazard these machines represent when I observed a large juvenile barge his way through a group of smaller individuals, screaming ‘Get the 
away from my rigg, Any of you come anywhere near it again and I’ll kill you!’”,“What then followed was a torrent of verbal abuse from the cab of the ride, along with many rude gestures and frequent soundings of an air horn”,“I found the whole episode to be quite a shock!”.
In fact, Miss Ticly-Korect was so shocked she staggered into the service station and gasped a request for a nice hot cup of tea. As she sat by the window, physically shaking from the experience, she noticed a couple of men approach the young lad and talk to him. The men and the lad left together, shortly afterwards. She believes these men represented a haulage firm and were offering him something, rather than being security guards enquiring about the disturbance. As soon as she felt she was able to, she called her office and asked for a Roger Ring, her colleague. After she had had a good therapeutic session on the phone with him, they arranged to meet so that Mr Ring may experience these events for himself.
“It did not take long for a similar incident to arise!”, Mr Ring informed us, “We approached the rear of the machine, arm in arm, offering each other comfort in such a stressful situation”,“Fortunately, the occupant did not notice us and so we were able to observe the events”,“What we saw was a screen where the windscreen of a normal HGV would be, displaying what appeared to be a video game”,“The game looked very similar to another game I am aware of, called Carmageddon”,“The machine was offering points for scaring pedestrians, running cars off of the road, and generally re-landscaping the environment!”.
Mr Ring worked-up what he felt was enough courage and approached the occupant, with the intention of identifying with them and offering support on an individual basis, where they would be free to express themself and cope with society again:
“Unfortunately, the individual was obviously very disturbed, as when I approached him he screamed and punched me on the nose”,“Before I was able to try and relate to his emotional difficulties, a very large man assaulted me and shouted ‘Get the away from my son, you pervert!’”, “Poor Miss Ticly-Korect was so struck with horror that she passed-out!”.
Mr Ring and Miss Ticly-Korect believe the problem to be so serious that they have started a campaign to alert parents of the dangers of these machines. They regularly visit service stations and hand out leaflets and are hoping to organise a rally where people may stand on stage and give a testimony on how their lives have been ruined since their child first became addicted to these devices. It was during one of these leaflet distrubution exercises that they stumbled upon something they totally did not expect. Miss Ticly-Korect told us:
“We noticed someone was using one of the contraptions and appeared to be relatively well-mannered”,“We approached this individual, only to find it was an adult who had squeezed into the cab”,“We asked him what he was doing, to which he replied that he had failed to gain employment as an HGV driver on numerous occasions, and this was the only way he could live his fantasy of driving an HGV!”.
Courtesy of Here
