Please can you help. Do you have any World Cup specific jokes that i can use on our junction 26 Website http://www.j26london.co.uk. i am really struggling to find any. If you have any please can you enter them on our Contact Us page. ta
Scotland qualifying 
I have been collecting the 2010 world cup stickers.
I’ve completed every team except for Japan & Korea where I keep getting the same players over again.
Me and my girlfriend have been together a long time, and our favourite ■■■■■■ position is the Scottish world cup Squad.
Neither of us know what we’re doing or why we’re there, there’s no passion, no communication and we never even make it past the first stage. It’s often accompanied by a very bad soundtrack, horrible dribbling and never ever a clean sheet. It’s always over far too quickly and when it does end I know it will be at least another 12 years before it happens again.
Anyone know why the Germans have objected to one of their world cup games kicking off at 19.45?
FIFA have a rule that the host nation automatically qualifies for the world cup.
Scotland have applied to host the tournament in 2018, 2022, 2026, 2030, 2034, 2038, 2042…
It is just before Scotland v England in the world cup Group game.
Rooney goes into the English changing room to find all his team mates looking a bit glum.
“What’s up?” he asks.
“Well, we’re having trouble getting motivated for this game. We know it’s important but it’s only Scotland. They’re ■■■■■ and we can’t be bothered”.
Rooney looks at them and says “Well, I reckon I can beat these by myself, you lads go down the pub.”
So Rooney goes out to play Scotland by himself and the rest of the English team go off for a few pints. After a few jars they wonder how the game is going, so they get the landlord to put the teletext on. A big cheer goes up as the screen reads “England 1 - Scotland 0 (Rooney 10minutes)”. He is beating Scotland all by himself!
Anyway, a few more pints later and the game is forgotten until someone remembers “It must be full time now, let’s see how he got on”. They put the teletext on.
“Result from the Stadium “England 1 (Rooney 10 minutes) - Scotland 1”(Angus McShagnasty 89 minutes)”.
They can’t believe it, he has single handedly got a draw against Scotland!!
They rush back to the Stadium to congratulate him. They find him in the dressing room, still in his gear, sat with his head in his hands. He refuses to look at them.
“I’ve let you down, I’ve let you down.”
“Don’t be daft, you got a draw against Scotland , all by yourself. And they only scored at the very very end”
"No, No, I have, I’ve let you down…
I got sent off after 12 minutes"
What’s the techinical term for a Scotsman in the world cup?
A referee.
Watching the world cup in 3D is so good it’ll feel like you’re there, which explains why the Scotland team have all bought one.
Why won’t China win the world cup?
Too many chinks in their defence.
Wow the world cup is going to different this year … one of the hosting Cities has 11 murders , 300 rapes and 600 violent crimes reported a week , you have a very high risk of being car jacked , there’s police bribery and corruption , and a very high risk of ATM fraud … just been watching a documentary about it … i suppose James Carragher and Steven Gerrard will feel quite at home though …
“Listen, if I’m chosen to go, then the world cup is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity”
Said Frank Lampard, looking forward to his second appearance at a world cup.
Fabio Capello has decided to choose Vanessa Perroncel as England’s 4th striker at the world cup, after all she is extremely experienced at getting between defenders!
I just entered a competition Coke are running to “Win a trip to the FIFA world cup Every Day!!”
Now I think about it, I hope I don’t win as I’m going to be ■■■■■■■ knackered come the end of it.
Thank very much for the Jokes guys.
A German family head out one Saturday to do some shopping. While in the sports shop the son picks up an England football shirt and says to his sister, “I’ve decided to be an England supporter and I would like this for my birthday.” His big sister is outraged by this and promptly whacks him round the head and says, “Go talk to your mother.” So off goes the little lad with the white and red football shirt in hand and finds his mother. “Mum?”,
“Yes son?”,
“I’ve decided I’m going to be an England supporter and I would like this shirt for my birthday”. The mother is outraged at this, promptly whacks him around the head twice and says, “Go talk to your father.” Off he goes with the football shirt in hand and finds his father. “Dad?”,
“Yes son?”,
“I’ve decided I’m going to be an England supporter and I would like this shirt for my birthday.” The father is outraged and promptly whacks his son around the head 4 times and says, “No son of mine is ever going to be seen in THAT!” About half and hour later they’re all back in the car and heading towards home. The father turns to his son and says, “Son, I hope you’ve learned something today?”. The son says, “Yes dad I have.”,
“Good son, what is it?”. The son replies, “I’ve only been an England supporter for an hour and already I hate you Germans”.
It’s Fabio Capellos first day as England manager and he walks into the showers and sees a huge ■■■ on the floor. He goes straight to the dressing room to confront the players and asks “who’s ■■■ on the floor?” at which point Peter Crouch sticks his hand up and says “yeah, but I’m good in the air!”