Are they bred or manufactured somewhere? Every firm surely has one? We’ve got one that has to follow someone allday and can never park in the right place to load (just put the wrong material on one as I’m fed up explaining it to them).
But “he’s driven for Sainsburys’ in the past”…
We had one driving for us he is now in the warehouse. He would get lost as soon as he left Wigan.
Northern boy:
We had one driving for us he is now in the warehouse. He would get lost as soon as he left Wigan.
So would I, if I could ever find Wigan. 
Northern boy:
We had one driving for us he is now in the warehouse. He would get lost as soon as he left Wigan.
My guess is he didn’t want to get back to Wigan.
That’s all.
mkb600:
Northern boy:
We had one driving for us he is now in the warehouse. He would get lost as soon as he left Wigan.My guess is he didn’t want to get back to Wigan.
That’s all.
Interesting statement coming from someone from Crewe!
We had one, started on the Monday, on the following Thursday tried to drive a 15’6" under a 13’6" bridge at about 100kph, with his girlfriend illegally in the passenger seat in Luton somewhere, very messy indeed, apparently his catchprase was “well they cannot kill you or make you pregnant” but in his case our boss tried both on him so I heard. 
JLS Driver SOS:
We had one, started on the Monday, on the following Thursday tried to drive a 15’6" under a 13’6" bridge at about 100kph, with his girlfriend illegally in the passenger seat in Luton somewhere, very messy indeed, apparently his catchprase was “well they cannot kill you or make you pregnant” but in his case our boss tried both on him so I heard.
Jonnie Foreigner by any chance?
redbob:
JLS Driver SOS:
We had one, started on the Monday, on the following Thursday tried to drive a 15’6" under a 13’6" bridge at about 100kph, with his girlfriend illegally in the passenger seat in Luton somewhere, very messy indeed, apparently his catchprase was “well they cannot kill you or make you pregnant” but in his case our boss tried both on him so I heard.Jonnie Foreigner by any chance?
No, a full on cockney geezer / plum.
How far did he get with the wrong goods on.
i had one driver. what a ■■■. he drove like a maniac when i was with him, so god knows what he was like when he was on his own. things took a turn for the worse when i caught him smoking a bong when he should have been working. but on the bright side, he chopped his finger off at work and couldn’t claim a penny. 
then there’s the moaners, moaned every day because everyone else had it easier than him. he was on the sweden work “the easiest job we do”. so we put him on the italian work “6 drops 6 collections” minimum. he didn’t like that either.
then there’s the GOB. he’s been there, he’s done it, he’s done it faster than anyone else etc etc. funny how everyone else is on the ferry, but he’s got weekended. 
M G B:
How far did he get with the wrong goods on.
Weighbridge man “advised” him to look in the back…Just a bit more colourfully.
I’d collected a load from Bradford for a major supermarket chain and left the depot on the way back to Teesside, got to the roundabout and went all the way round to go back the official route we’d been given. As I’m driving around the roundabout, I spot 2 more of our motors, one pulled out safely in front of me to head into the depot, and the other one dropped right on my tail. First vehicle turns right to the depot, I go straight on.
I notice this other motor following me along, really close, when I’d pull out at a roundabout, he’d follow me, even if there wasn’t room for him to do so safely. After about 45 minutes or so, I pulled into a layby and this motor stops behind me. I go back to the other driver and ask him if everything is alright, at which point he looks bemused and said you aren’t Brian that I was following. Turns out he wanted to go to the depot I’d left, and got confused when I passed him. Having said that, the back of my trailer and Brians were completely different.
Don’t know what happened to him, the transport office weren’t too impressed I don’t think, as the load was chilled produce to be reloaded and back out that evening.
Spooky558:
I’d collected a load from Bradford for a major supermarket chain and left the depot on the way back to Teesside, got to the roundabout and went all the way round to go back the official route we’d been given. As I’m driving around the roundabout, I spot 2 more of our motors, one pulled out safely in front of me to head into the depot, and the other one dropped right on my tail. First vehicle turns right to the depot, I go straight on.I notice this other motor following me along, really close, when I’d pull out at a roundabout, he’d follow me, even if there wasn’t room for him to do so safely. After about 45 minutes or so, I pulled into a layby and this motor stops behind me. I go back to the other driver and ask him if everything is alright, at which point he looks bemused and said you aren’t Brian that I was following. Turns out he wanted to go to the depot I’d left, and got confused when I passed him. Having said that, the back of my trailer and Brians were completely different.
Don’t know what happened to him, the transport office weren’t too impressed I don’t think, as the load was chilled produce to be reloaded and back out that evening.
The Poor Bar steward
I think I’m one of them…
We had an agency driver who upon first arriving proceeded to reverse his car in to the gaffers then started up the motor in gear whilst standing outside, then he asked how do you unclip the side bits (curtains) and best of all drove away without hooking up properly dropping the trailer on its nose and ripping off the rear mudguards susie connections on the trailer and lights on the unit. He didn’t get a shift that day… Poor chap
Pimpdaddy:
I think I’m one of them…
Nope has to be me
C10HOO:
We had an agency driver who upon first arriving proceeded to reverse his car in to the gaffers then started up the motor in gear whilst standing outside, then he asked how do you unclip the side bits (curtains) and best of all drove away without hooking up properly dropping the trailer on its nose and ripping off the rear mudguards susie connections on the trailer and lights on the unit. He didn’t get a shift that day… Poor chap
Seriously, if he’d drove into the bosses car whilst driving his own car, why did anyone let him in a truck?
Then to do any of the other things, he should never have got the opertunity to drop the trailer on it’s nose, he’d have been given directions to the nearest LGV training centre for a refresher course, and boots for an eye test.
Mainly because no one realised he pranged the bosses car and my old gaffer wasn’t the type to give a monkeys. As long as the job got done, main reason why I’m not working there anymore.
i was in a place last week by security gate when a lorry came out with a 16ft trailer on.he pulls by me and said alright mate whats the best way to Birmingham from here but dont forget ive got this trailer on.I told him a way where theres no bridges,i said there was a way through Lichfield but said there are a few low bridges so if your unsure go the way i said.20 mins after he had ripped the roof off on a 13ft 9 bridge in LICHFIELD and i thought he new the height of the trailer didnt go the way i said and still hit a bridge unreal.
And how often are these halfwits paid the same as everyone else? The firm I started working for paid all the machine drivers different amounts; The highest earners were very experienced operators who went from one hire job to another, often for the same customer. They had “their” machine and a new van and it was an incentive for the others.