The Road To Hell

UK PROFESSIONAL DRIVERS FORUMS EX-PAT BRITISH TRUCKERS (INTERACTIVE)
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I noticed over the weeks and months that some drivers give a weekly report of the events during that past week :exclamation: I wouldn’t normally bother but as I have had a rather amusing week I will have a go :exclamation:

Aug 8th THE ROAD TO HELL

Having an 8.00am appointment to deliver a load of bubble wrap to ‘Amce’ in West Paterson NJ I arrived on site two hours early to avoid traffic, the main road out side the company get very congested after 7.00 and I have to reverse through a car park which is also full by that time. On arrival I notice the onlu available door had a black Frieghtliner backed on, so I pulled to the side and hit the sleeper for 2 hours. On waking up I notice the black truck still on the door, and the driver is messing around with his fith wheel. I walk down to him and ask if he is loading or unloading, he mumbles a tirrade of gobbledygook that sounds very eastern European then he say’s “No speak English”, I notice the truck comes from California and wonder how he found his way from CA to NJ without reading English :question:
I enter the building and look in his trailer, it is empty :exclamation: After being ignored for half an hour I walk in to an office and interupt someone
“You have bubble wrap ? … My God ! we’ve been waiting for you.”
“I have been outside since six”
“OH ! is that you ?”
The Russian is moved, I am unloaded in 5 minutes and pull out, but because of the shortage of space I park in a Mall car park around the corner to call in for a reload.
Laura (my dispatcher) tells me to wait for 30 minutes and I point out that I am parked in a no parking zone and need a direction to head in as the highway next to me has limited access, either east or west. I wait for 10 minutes and am moved twice by security to other areas, Laura calls back with the number of a broker, a load refrence # and a pick up address in Jersey City (HELL).
I phone the broker and am pushed from person to person, then told the load will not be ready untill next day :exclamation: :exclamation: :exclamation: [zb] that :exclamation:
I call Laura and tell her I am not waiting around and need to move, she say’s “Just give me 15 minutes”
I hung up and started to drive west to I-80, then east along 80 to head home, after a couple of miles Laura calls “Just drop the trailer in Albany on the way home Pat” I hang up and the phone rings again :exclamation: Laura says “Who told you the load was not ready ?”
“The sixth guy” I said, Laura then put me on a confrence call with a broker who tells me the load is ready and gives me directions.
"Leave the N J turnpike at exit 14A, turn right off the ramp, over a bridge, 1 mile on the left turn into Industry ave, then next left and the customer is on the left, called ‘Hope Luck’ "
“Sounds Chinese” I said, the guy hung up :exclamation: I left the Pike at 14A as told, turned right, very tight :exclamation: and comes to a set of lights with ‘NO ENTRY’ opposite, all I could do was turn right again and get trapped in a narrow main street that leads into Jersey City centre, the road is about 5 miles long and more getto like as I progress with gangs on every corner and anti-white sloggans on the walls, I am watched at every corner as I try to find somewhere to turn a 72 ft truck around, I call the broker who say’s the load is not ready till the next day, I hang up and call Laura who has a phone number for Hope Luck, I call the company and get an answering service IN CHINESE :exclamation: :exclamation: I drive on deaper into gang land untill I see a triangular building on my left with a road comming toward me and a set of lights in front of me and figure that if I can turn left at the lights I can then get back by the building and head back to the turnpike, the light turns red and as I sit there a gang run toward me :exclamation: :exclamation: ‘This is it, I’m dead’ I think as my whole life flashes before me, they suround the cab and one nasty looking yob hangs on my door mirror "YO :exclamation: Put the window down’ he shouts, as I lock the door, I open the window slowly thinking I am about to get my throat cut and so lean away, “You lost dude ?” the yob asks “Where you wanna be ?”
“Industry avenue” I reply.
“I’ll draw ya a map” he say’s
“But the light is green” I say.
“[zb] the light” his gang stand in the road stopping everything from moving and he hands me a scribbled map back to where I want, the whole gang the hold up all traffic to enable me to do a ‘U’ turn and I drive back out of hell to the pike and realise that the directions should have said exit 14A and straight on over a bridge and the street was on the left.
I found ‘Hope Luck’, went into the office to find a Chinese receptionist and told her the trouble I had getting there, “You should have phoned us” she said.
“I did, but the answering service was in Chinese” I said.
“But it has a menu, and you press button 5 for English”
“If the menu is in Chinese, how do I understand which comand tells me to select English ?” I ask, she turns away, ignoring me the shouts door eight at me.
Once loaded and away i head back to the NJ PIKE and travelling north on the most confusing section of highway in the USA (Just north of 14 the pike splits in two, an eastern pike and a western pike) I find access to the western section which is where I want to be is blocked and I have to head east to find route 3 west and 17 north but find access to 3 west is also blocked and I end up on 3 east toward the Lincon Tunnel to Manhatten (which I do not want thank you), I take a slip road for Union City and do a ‘U’ turn which involves some very tight turns and the head back along 3, then 17 north.
I-87 north :exclamation: :exclamation: What paradise I think untill I see the rows on camper (caravans fro Rob K and suchlike) at the tolls. I am sitting in the left lane for ‘EZ Pass’ when a pick up pulling a fith wheel camper slide in front and noticing he has a CB I ask him if he has EZ Pass :question:
“Mind you own [zb]’ buisness, I ain’t stupid” says the guy, but he is :exclamation: he waits till he gets to the booth then decides he doesn’t have EZ Pass so stops.
“Get out of the way, go though, park on the shoulder and walk back for a ticket” I tell him.
“Mind you own” he elects to turn sharp right through standing traffic and wipes out a Ford Explorer, I laughed my socks off :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

A very eventfull day, part of a very eventfull week but I will not go on any longer with this one. I have never typed so much in my life. :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

Great story Pat but even great stories aren’t allowed little stars in words to get them past the censor. And at least you know I read it all to spot them. :wink: :smiley: Coffeeholic

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Yeah but I was quoting the people so i expected censorship :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

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Glad we lived up to expectations then. :wink: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley:

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August 9th WAITING FOR BOB

This is just a short one. I often run with an old guy called Bob, Bob is older than dirt :exclamation: he can’t understand much that I say but I know when he has no idea what I just sid because he always answers “Oh really”
So early tuesday morning I set out for Wilmington MA, knowing that Bob is going there too I set out extra early to avoid being relayed by an old guy who stops every 30 minutes to pee and drives so slow he is a handicap. Unfortunately Bob had set out before me and I caught up with the old gyser at the top of Pico mountain in VT, Bob talks slow also with spaces in his sentances “Is that you … Pat?” asks Bob,
“Yeah, it’s me” I reply,
“Thought I might run into you” say’s Bob. Bob stopped as I said every 30 minutes and during the trip I mentioned that I had run into an old friend of both of us “I met Jack yesterday Bob, he asked to be remembered to you and he is doing fine in his new job, he gets home every weekend and is fit and well, he is set till he retires”
“OH really” says Bob, “So how is he doing?”
Later that day, still running with Bob we had a pick up at the National guard in Milford MA, as we left for the same destination, I lead the way off the site and he follows, I turn right and come to a “ALL VEHICLES MUST TURN LEFT” sign with concrete barriers and a gap for one vehicle, I turn left and watch in my mirror as Bob passes right through the gap, I call him on the CB and tell him he should have turned left, so he backs up as I wait, I get on I-495 and he is nowhere to be seen so yet again I stop on the shoulder and ask where he is, “Just comming on to 495” he replies, I get going at 40 mph for 20 miles but no Bob, then at the tolls for I-90 he appears behind me, just a car between us, I pull onto 90 and after climbing the hill for 1 mile Bob is nowhere in sight, I spend the entire trip waiting for this guy, then I get a call from HO asking if I would do nights this comming week, “Bob has been to the place, ask him for directions” say’s Laura.
I got on the mike and said “Bob, I’m doing that night trunk job next week and Laura say’s you can tell me where to go so I would like some directions from you, where in Coventry is the first drop and how long does the job take each time, you are a man in the know so I can expect the truth from you”
Bob say’s “Oh really”

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Pat,

And, don’t forget the other great one from our hosts;

“What part of Australia are you from?”

Jim.

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I get that too!!! :unamused: Where in Australia/NZ are you from■■? :confused:

I just pointed to the St George’s cross hanging in my cab and wait for them to ask… :laughing:

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St Georges crosses are commonplace here, they also stand for the Protestant Church … they probably think you are a devout Christian :laughing:

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:laughing::lol::lol::lol::lol: