TAHIR & KALASHNICOFF HOPPY
(And invoulantary wet pants) 70s trucking
DUST ERE SURREY ¡!!!
Owner drivers always after better work , but stuck with mr 10 % , which in most cases is 20 %, 10 % creamed off price first .
■■■■ c , and Liverpool J Stoke, the duo. Tipper work down, flat work down , mortgage and kids to provide for , times really bad . ■■■■ says got good work in Tehran , Bagdad, good rates, load back , up the money. But need good motor ,so off to price, best for me a foden man, so have to try for the best, but what i need and want is a hefty price , cannot get hp on that one , really dissapointed , so mate says ERF, second best . Up to Beech”s, price sleeper, ■■■■■■■■ twintanks, stack on cab back, night heater blimey costs more than mortgage on house ¡!!!
Spoke to a guyin the pub at Sandbach who has just done a run , but you need your wits 24 /7. we get a pint and sit and gabble he enlightens me that also needed is a j brake, roads very bad in Turkey, so i take his advise up to Beech”s and with a smile he says 1,250 pounds fitted , will it ever end ¡!!! Thats it I go for it . Motor delivered, ■■■■ C says to be sure of regular work paint it in our colours, ( bad move ) , but seems good at the time, Repayments and work schedules to be met .
Go to see good contact I know through the family and asks him about problems on the continent he says this is great for us we want to sell this model as a flagship for europe , and he says wherever you are we will give you good backup .
Next stop the doctors for 2 jabs for asia , shoebox full of goodys incase of problems a decent first aid box . Get tinned food , toilet rolls , tea bags , dried milk etc ready for the off .
Go to M/C to load takesall day , then on the way to Dover for the boat , stopping at A2 café contact for permits .
On the boat meet one of cb drivers a guy from brum , subie like me, all going to Tehran , bummie guy knows the drill, so bags of confidence, sit down to good meal and a beer .
Good run the next day arrive Archon , Germany, customs what a palavar tank shines and papers 2 ½ hrs , get in cab start motor pulling off a charlie from berisfords pulls across me gives him the churchill salute and he stalls it, sit there waiting for 5 _ 10 minutes , get out and see whats up, motor wont start battery seems to be flat, back to my truck, jump leads out , his mate pulls to his side and brum , brum off he goes . SoI start up again and a bloke waving stick ,jackboots and uniform makes me stop wants to see tankshine, b hell , next being marched to office problems, he has measured my tanks and it appears i am wrong, he demands 150 quid off me , he must be joking but no he isnt , down on brass already!!! Welcome to the fatherland .
S off we go again and not bad english pop music on the radio all through germany , apparently from USA airbases , Arrive in Salsburgh big queue, put in papers then brew in cab and a bit of snappin , Just now a knock on side of Cab , a bloke from London wants to know where we had our food from , we look at each other , he is amased when he sees 4 boxes of food , gas stove 3 pans to cook on and he tells us he is going to Jerusalem , in a day cab DAF , no food supplies no first aid stuff nothing only his running money ( wally) , thats not quite the words we used some bosses as thick as pigs doo dars ¡!!!.
Good run through Yugoslavia , Then Bulgarian border, cheap whisky here cheaper than in the uk so on advice from the brummie i buy 2 bottles , 2 dozen pairs of ladies tights , 6 rustler mags , bribary stash for customs man then hopefully a quick tip .
Arrive Turkish border, customs agent “ young turk “ 1 ½ days sunbathing then to the bosphorous bridge to get weighed in , we have to wait there are more trucks then go across together , turks here selling all sorts , moving along the line they think we are yanks, then when someone says he is english all hell breaks loose , spitting at us , shouting abuse about the british army early 1900 “s , police arrive and they are moved away, dont want a holliday here ¡!!!. We cross the bridge with beautifull views and it appears built by british .
Mow camp Ankara, big buisness here, anything you want under one roof 6 months after this first trip of mine , a london lad parks his truck on waste land outside truck park just off the road later in the evening a turkish guy runs into the back of the truck and is killled , The lad was charged with his death he was a guest in turkey and if he hadnt been here it wouldnt of happenned common sense and logic on the continent isnt the same as uk ¡!!!
Years later when i was running two trucks uk / Holland /Belguim I employed a guy from sandbach, nice bloke, one day he says i believe you ran to Tehran , yes thats right he went on to tell me he had but had a really bad experience like midnight express . he said as i knew roads rubbish in places , guy in car cuts him up, hits truck and car spins around , next thing cars all around and i am held until police come and arrest me , my fault etc , shouldnt be there , He then relates his time in jail , one room stone floor 14 ·x 14, hole in ground in the middle of floor is the toilet , 9 men , sackbag for a blanket . Food was rice with beetles in and hard black bread . T he main jailer a big fat turk hated english and at every oppurtunity, he would beat him with a 2 x 2 wooden stave on his thigh , eventually the wound burst open 6” long, he wouldnt let him go for medical treatment, also in the jail was a young aussie boy, caught with drugs at the airport, who had worked as a ambulance assistant, he he managed to get wire and using sackclothe sewed it up as best he could , eventually after his family had raised 8,ooo pounds in uk he was released , he showed me the scar and it was as though a shark had bit him , he was lucky he hadnt lost his leg from infection .
Back to main part, leaving the mow camp next day we are feeling well fed and rested , but still long way to go so decide to pace ourselves , steady running sun streaming in , oh for aircon but just a luxury those days . after three hours running we park set up our dining table, cook beans boiled eggs fresh wah leathers bit like oatcakes only white and bland so not as tasty , 3 mugs tea couple of ■■■■ good jokes and we could drive to the moon .
I notice the deeper into Iran we go the further we seem to be going back in time , little villages , mud huts , no proper roads system like biblical times , days seem to be spent by the locals wandering across barren land with goats and animals grazing. Arnt we the lucky ones in the uk , chasing the clock , just one more run, tired eyes and body to feed the family , pay bills ,mortgage, get the kids designer clothes etc ¡!!
After travelling many miles the dusty roads are giving the truck a change of colour or my eyes decieve me, hang on , temp is up on dash , park up we have a leak , Also shock absorber on front, bolt sheared, new truck ¡!! 1 hour later 3 water leaks fixed , and shock absorber ■■■■■■■ with wire we are back on our journey . There are wood hutsat the side of the road, great distances apart where you have to stop to have papers , as the brummie has informed us it appears if you dont get the stamp you will be sent back, time for some food and drink , we park up and out comes big d soup , tins rice pudding and our english mugs of tea .
We can see in the distance approx 1 hour away a big mountain, this is what we have to travel over there is a road that goes around the mountain but is only for military use , the road up the mountain if it has rained is treacherous the dust turns to cream and no traction can be gained .
We arrive in mud hut village , hand papers in to checking post at bottom of mountain , then set off, we start to climb, onthe right we are running on the bank side, young kids are poised at sites as we go up wanting ciggs so have to chuck them a couple as they are carrying rocks ready to throw through the windscreen , very tight road in places and seem to be climbing all the time, the odd “dumbcoff “ trying to pass in tonka toys , we are right hand drive so hug the side .Very dusty road, low box in places , Then i hear loud air horns blowing , looking through the mirror i see a truck through the dust, attempting to overtake me, first thought is what a nutter , too narrow he persists with the horns until i am able to stop at a wider place , its a turk in a mack waving his arms and 2 army blokes also pointing at me ( must like english eh ¡! . He is empty and speedsahead creating even more dust , after a while i reach the top and it levels out and opens up quite wide, in the distance i see 2 army blokes in the centre of the road , as i approach slowly they wave me in , Both have guns ( kinhell ) whats going on , i stop the door flings open and one of them pull me out the cab , the mind jumps to the reality , this is bloody serious , Atirade of shouting in turkish, non comprendie pal, good god he is turning blue and his neck looks like it might explode with all the shouting , thrusts the klashnicoff rifle under my chin and i feel a warm , my wet pants , i am sure they are going to kill me and leave me here , After more shouting, its ■■■■ , whisky, dirty books, the other one has moved the gun and as he trys to get in the cab I grab him , to be thrown on the floor and the gun appears again , i sit stillhe takes all the cigs he can find on the dash , and music cassettes, plus my hat and walks away, leaving me thankfull that they had left , so i brushed myself off took off my pants , wrang them out luckily they will soon dry out so thats the tale of the wet pants ¡!