unfortunately I was on the receiving end of this on Thursday and having a tough time at the minute. just wondering if anyone here has been through this or something similar and if they have any advice
Hi Paddy, I’m sorry to hear that. I haven’t been on the receiving end of that but I did witness a tragic motorbike accident a long while ago on loch lomondside. All I can say is, if you are offered counselling take it. I was dubious about it at first but after a few sessions I found it helped.
Sorry to hear of this, but you’ll probably have to give a lot more information about the circumstances surrounding this as you will probably get trolled off by TNCSI
Sent from Platform 9 3/4
My sympathy too.
I suspect there could be problems if you say too much in public before the inquest has ruled on cause of death, so possibly best if you don’t expand on the details.
Hope your company are being supportive during this time, and by time i don’t mean a weekend off either, getting over this might be a long drawn out affair.
Not me personally but a mate had someone do themselves in under his wheels, took him a long time to get back on the road which he only did briefly, was never the same afterwards.
Don’t be afraid to get help if you feel you need it.
A.
A while back a train driver who had had a jumper in front of his train which was doing 75 mph (very nasty result) told me the standard procedure at his train operator was to give four weeks paid time off for the driver concerned.
Not quite the same as with a road vehicle as its clearly impossible to swerve or stop a train, but still affects most drivers to some extent.
It happened to someone I worked with on the A2 near Dover. She just walked straight out into the path of his truck and there was absolutely nothing he could do to avoid it. Afterwards he said he did feel guilty because he saw her standing there and thought it was a strange place for a pedestrian to be and afterwards he wondered if he could have done anything differently. But what can you do if somebody is determined to commit suicide?
There was an inquest, and suicide was the verdict. He was determined not to let the experience destroy him, and it didn’t.
Same for you chap, a horrible experience but you just have to crack on.
I can only imagine what your going through, absolutely horrific for you, however you have to understand she has used your truck to end her life and that it is not your fault in the least. Nothing you could have done as you were not to know. I would advise on seeking professional counseling if your struggling and get back on the horse. Chin up buddy it’s a tough life but you need to live yours.
Is nobody going to mention the Elephant in the room here, since last time when this was brought up, and all the sh the guy got for bringing it up?
It’s undeniable the tragedy of any type of suicide, and what must go through these people’s minds to feel the need to carry it out…, I accept all that and (genuinely) do sympathise. 
However the question has to be asked…Why involve some poor innocent guy just going about his daily job, especially when it can, and usually does, affect him for the rest of his life in different degrees of severity.
If anybody wants to do this there are numerous ways to do it by themselves.
Ok, bring on the stick I don’t care, but I did say I do sympathise with these people on the whole,.and understand there are people on here who have had relations that have been reduced to this, so I apologise if I offend.
I had a little thing when young involving the aftermath of a fatal light aircraft crash in a starter job. Was complicated but I was involved with the recovery and the images threw me a bit of a curve. I mucked on (bad idea really). My talking to someone was several beers and a talk with a bloke who’d had similar and it sort of worked, but didn’t really. I was back in the saddle the day after, which wasn’t really the right thing. There’s more effective options.
Take some proper time off from work. You might suprise yourself and move on quite quickly. This is armchair psychology but I reckon it’s important not to use that time off to sit dwelling at home with all the thoughts circling around. I think that’s worse than even plodding on. Try and crack on with doing enjoyable things, any hobbies, walks, cinema whilst getting some help quickly as you’ll be back quicker and cracking on with life. Time is a healer as they say! You don’t have to go through your GP, you can pay yourself but it’s the cost. Maybe worth asking your employer if they have an occupational health policy that provides councilling for work related accidents and trauma.
It can be surprisingly effective to talk to someone professional. It’s not snake oil. Friends, family and trucknet are very limited value as people nod saguely but no one knows the mechanisms of how to explore helping someone with shock or a traumatic event. Speaking to a stranger who’s job it is, is night and day different. If the SAS have a charity for councilling through post traumatic stress then it’s good enough to take it that the method is worth while exploring if you’re really getting yourself in a pit.
Good luck!
I have to agree with rob on this one. Plenty of ways to go about it without affecting others.
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robroy:
Is nobody going to mention the Elephant in the room here, since last time when this was brought up, and all the sh the guy got for bringing it up?It’s undeniable the tragedy of any type of suicide, and what must go through these people’s minds to feel the need to carry it out…, I accept all that and (genuinely) do sympathise.
However the question has to be asked…Why involve some poor innocent guy just going about his daily job, especially when it can, and usually does, affect him for the rest of his life in different degrees of severity.
If anybody wants to do this there are numerous ways to do it by themselves.Ok, bring on the stick I don’t care, but I did say I do sympathise with these people on the whole,.and understand there are people on here who have had relations that have been reduced to this, so I apologise if I offend.
On a purely intellectual level I agree, I’ve often thought the same. Why if you’re going to do it, involve others? There’s no need.
But maybe when a person is in that frame of mind, considering another just doesn’t enter their mind. I don’t know.
Either way its a ■■■■■■■ tragedy for everyone concerned. And I hope I’m never in the driving seat of the vehicle some poor soul picks to use to end themselves.
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I’m told that the reason that they don’t think of others, is because they simply aren’t thinking logically. At the brief, or maybe slightly longer run up to the actual attempt, they aren’t thinking as you and I would think, they have no concept at all of the outcome of the actual act, other than wanting to end it all.
The advice on here is seek professional help.You here of soldiers coming back and being really zbed up.Get couselling and dont let it happen to you.
17 years old and three months after passing my test and driving my dads minor van, a bloke ran into the side of it and scrambled his brains outside of his skull. Took him six days to die. I was exonerated from blame through witness statements, but the only counselling I got was a ratbag copper doing me because the number plate bulb had gone out. It hasn’t affected me and I was straight back in the saddle, but we’re all different and I’m not sure that counselling would have helped me. It’s probably all down to the temperament of the driver involved.
Firstly, you have done the right thing. Don’t bottle it up, it is always best to speak about something that affects you if you feel comfortable to do so. What you have seen will have a lasting impact on your life, I’m truly sorry that you had to suffer this awful tragedy.
I suggest, you contacting your GP, and ask for counselling, you might not feel you need it but even by talking about it will sometimes help, all people are different and deal with life changing incidents in different ways.
If you love driving, you need to remember this was an extreme one off, and try to get back behind the seat as soon as possible, the longer you are away the more you might not want to return.
Also, remember this could have an affect on your family, and you must remember you are not at fault, you can relive it over and over in your head a million times, there would of been no way you could of changed the course.
robroy:
Is nobody going to mention the Elephant in the room here, since last time when this was brought up, and all the sh the guy got for bringing it up?It’s undeniable the tragedy of any type of suicide, and what must go through these people’s minds to feel the need to carry it out…, I accept all that and (genuinely) do sympathise.
However the question has to be asked…Why involve some poor innocent guy just going about his daily job, especially when it can, and usually does, affect him for the rest of his life in different degrees of severity.
If anybody wants to do this there are numerous ways to do it by themselves.Ok, bring on the stick I don’t care, but I did say I do sympathise with these people on the whole,.and understand there are people on here who have had relations that have been reduced to this, so I apologise if I offend.
If you’re checking out of a hotel for the last time do you really care about the cleaner discovering you clogged the toilet?
peterm:
17 years old and three months after passing my test and driving my dads minor van, a bloke ran into the side of it and scrambled his brains outside of his skull. Took him six days to die. I was exonerated from blame through witness statements, but the only counselling I got was a ratbag copper doing me because the number plate bulb had gone out. It hasn’t affected me and I was straight back in the saddle, but we’re all different and I’m not sure that counselling would have helped me. It’s probably all down to the temperament of the driver involved.
Perfect signature for that post.
Back in 2003 I was driving a bus from Liverpool to bootle, at the top of the road I was born in a young girl (16 years old with downs syndrome) ran straight out in front of me.
I was travelling at 24.5 mph according to police which tallied with my statement of about 25mph.
The poor girl died there and then, the last thing she saw was me as we caught eyes through the screen.
In no way was this my fault and the inquest confirmed this. But at the time I was numb to it knowing I did nothing wrong.
A year later at the age of 9 my stepson developed non hodgkins lymphoma and spent a tear in hospital (he is in zante now rocking 
) then somehow it seems I got my Mrs pregnant.
When my daughter was a year or so old I lost the plot big time. I had the crisis team out to me every day. I was diagnosed with ptsd, apparently It went back further than the traffic incident (who knew)
My point is, talk, talk to everyone who will listen, my ptsd nearly cost me my life and family.
I did nothing wrong in my life, but I nearly gave up My life for a guilt I never should have had, please talk as this can bite your backside many years later, the sooner you deal with even the slightest doubt the less you will suffer in the long run.
I am still fighting angisighty (spelling) and lack of confidence, though mates who didn’t know me before think I’m a cocky knob now lol (imagine haha)
It still haunts me even after a couple of career changes, I did office work for years, but I enjoy driving and even nearly 15 years on it still haunts me but you can learn coping mechanisms.
With all the fantastic help I had from the NHS (yes really) you need to admit you have a problem then and only then you can help yourself.
Please please do not think you can cope like I thought, talk early and talk frankly, involving your Mrs or girlfriend as well.
I hope your are okay, feel free to chat.
Ste.
Paddy1882 I’ve sent you a PM
Regards
Ed