A figure of fun and ridicule among so many of us. I cant believe theyve taken so long to finally make a tv comedy series about them!!
(just to mention, I followed a truck out of Iceland in Livingstone last week and went past a raised barrier by about 3ft. Just never noticed it. The security fella took it so personal! He was genuinely upset and went to great lengths to outline what wouldve happened if the barrier came down. I kept my mirth under check and left him to ponder what might have been......a horrendous accident. Maybe if Id knocked it down, he would`ve had to pay for a new one!!)
Funny buggaz or what?
cheekymonkey:
A figure of fun and ridicule among so many of us.
Just like truck drivers then.
Security guards; they’re only there because they’re cheaper than a padlock. 
Dennisthemence spot on, A lot of ex Gurkhas and other servicemen now doing security, Money for old rope as my old man used to call the job which he took on when demobbed…these ex servicemen know what security is all about and can carry out the task to a bit higher degree than the likes of a Morrisons RDC expect them too…Then you have the big lump…too many pork pies…gives you the thousand yard stare as you approach…struggles to uncork himself from the chair…so you have a wry smile to yourself and think “Security ? yeah right.” 
Dennisthemenace:
Sometimes I feel that too… But, there are some people among them (mainly ex army servicemen or Nepalian people) who are brighter, than most of their managers.
A footsie 100 Co’ I used to work for employed a team of Gurkha’s to guard a very VERY business critical computer server centre 24/7/365, housed in an anonymous building on an anonymous industrial estate in an anonymous part of the UK.
The board authorised a top London/global security firm (at massive expense) to test the security & offer any recommendations to improve it.
I read the 15 page report & PMSL at the summary, which basically said to increase the Gurkha’s pay by 10%
P.S. Never dishonour an old Gurkha by referring to them as an ex-Gurkha. They are Gurkha, ex-serviceman retired.
They’re only called security guards cos it makes them feel more important than being called a gatehouse attendant.
They stamp on my work boots to test for steel toe caps, if not , they do not let me in.!!!
toby1234abc:
They stamp on my work boots to test for steel toe caps, if not , they do not let me in.!!!
stop wearing steelies then
you would then have a undisputable claim for grievous bodily harm
toby1234abc:
They stamp on my work boots to test for steel toe caps, if not , they do not let me in.!!!
Tell him you’ll kick him in the nuts instead. That should give him a good idea if they’re steelies or not.
damoq:
toby1234abc:
They stamp on my work boots to test for steel toe caps, if not , they do not let me in.!!!
Tell him you’ll kick him in the nuts instead. That should give him a good idea if they’re steelies or not.
I used to suggest something similar,
“Are they steel toe cap boots?” Says the National Socialist
“Bend over and once I’ve booted you up the arse, you can give me your honest opinion!” Says I.
Rather disappointed that no one ever took me up on the offer.
average wage for a security guard is about the same as it is for a tramper isnt it ? 
i worked in security industry for nearly 20 years!! i wanted to go back to driving but could,nt afford the drop in wage! I,ve just had my P60 for the last 12 months and I have earned less driving then I was earning doing security 6 years ago and doing less hours…
Hitlers Daughter(HD), Office Depot, Ashton u Lynn.
Arrived yesterday & cheerfully bode her “Good Morning” she asked my name, I told her & spelt it out.
‘HD’ Snaps at me “NOW CAN YOU TELL ME YOUR NAME WITHOUT SPELLING IT OUT”
Sorry I say’s but most people ask me to spell it out.
‘HD’ Snaps " WELL I’M NOT EVERYBODY’
“I can see that” was my reply, didn’t say any thing else to her, she’d ‘■■■■■■ me off’ I was having a pleasant day up to then. 
Should have asked if it was THAT week.
She’s too old for ‘That Special Week’
I’m just going to Smile at her every time I go in there just to get a reaction. LOL
like the sound of their own voice! 
tommy two tapes with a LITTLE BIT OF POWER! 
and I mean a little! 
None of them dare to speak up so I contacted OSHA (health and safety) and they told me the guards could sit on their break