You’re off the hook for now, but I’m keeping a close eye on you.
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How about putting CF on a container ship, that’s a very long voyage from Southampton docks to Australia, that way Geoffrey can top up his tan en route, the issue is that working and being paid to work on a cargo vessel is strictly forbidden as a paying passenger?
That’d suit your mate, he’s already broken his back, being used as a human forklift. 
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Carryfaster was a competent Captain of the Costa Concordia with decades of experience in the maritime industry.
I like him.
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Shouldn’t that be Barista of the Costa Coffee after decades of experience in the Marmite industry? (other coffee chains and beef flavoured drinks are available!)
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Carry On Faster is the C.E.O of Stirbuckets multinational coffee chain.