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You are having a bad time and not much I can say but when my dad was ill for along time he had to go into a nursing home but we found that if the hospital or district nurse said he had to go they paid the bill not us, might be worth looking into. Don’t feel bad about doing it you have done your best but I know with me there comes a time when you have to let a care home help.
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2 things you can do. 1) go to the local PCT, its changed name but it’s the same thing. They are responsible for all healthcare in their area. 2) Go to the CQC. Care Quality Commssion. They turn up unannounced and cannot be refused access, they also generally bypass the management, and speak to patients, relatives and staff. Their details are on the internet. You can also ask for a copy of her notes under the freedom of information act. My wife worked in the NHS for 28 years as a nurse, finished as a senior manager, now works for a private hospital in a similar role. If you want any further info pm me, and i’ll get the mrs to read your post and she’ll point you in the right direction
hi thats good of you its with the obudsman at moment has been with them 0ver 6 weeks awaiting a case officer 
It is hard to watch I know my mam has dementia & is 77 although not that bad atm it will become worse sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind do you want some kind of life or not only you can make that decision
sometimes it is better to have them in a home my brother in law mother is in a home she was in a mental hospital as she too had dementia they had to sell her house to help pay for her care & the authority said she had to go
Have you tried sheltered accommodation or is she not upto that 
Good luck whatever way you decide to go not easy at all
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It is never easy when it is your own mam & yep they do get it wrong a lot of the time ok sometimes they do get it right but no go to you now I know seem ike the water infection never cleared up in 1st place but then who do you blame tbh there was poss a few things that went wrong ( no I dont work in nhs or never have ) as defiantly a lack of communication between nurses / dr / consultants & no one wanting to take responsibility for her
This sort of thing happened to dad a long time ago ( something different mind ) he had another heart attack heart stopped for 8.5 min but no consultant would take him into there care as they though he would die so left him in limbo had another heart attack in the hospital in fact several they didnt expect him to come out until 1 junior dr asked why he wasnt getting any better so he sat down looked at his tablets ( drugs as I call them 
) asked why he was taking 1 of them said what it was for he stopped that 1 immediately there was a big improvement almost straight away he had been in hospital 3 weeks by this time nobody had bothered to question they just kept giving him them 1 week later he was out & a lot better then after several discussions he was placed under the right consultant the 1 he should have had & who had refused to take him ( he was to high risk for her & wouldnt look good if he never made it so was all about targets this was nearly 20 years ago he did die 3 years ago so had another 17 years )
Have a look at what else you can claim for your cab may be able to help as nobody will tell you as your local authority may have some kind of care package available to you but they do like to keep quiet about it
Can understand why you are angry but unfortunately not a lot can be done about it now it is time to see what you can do to help your mam & it is not easy seeing her like that ( have copped with other relatives like it but find it very hard with my mam ) but then there are 4 of us as well as grandchildren & great grandchildren
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IIRC there was a similar form for dad ( dnr ) partly as he wasnt strong enough to go through it again & us as a family made that decision as well ( I hope my kids look at me & make a decision on that yep we have discussed this ) not easy & yep it does exist although they say not
It is hard as a family this is starting to take a toll on you & your brother maybe look into having a rest bite for yourself & your brother a long weekend poss yep it may be in a local care home or they may come to you as it sound like you need it
Here is a good way to vent your anger but it may not get you very far with the authorities & can understand frustrating but they do close rank as you know
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