After a short while driving i soon became aware of the countryside change and a certain drabness as if everything has been abandoned ,the houses I seen some thatched roofs were of the garden shed type, rough , also old terracotta tiled roofs some missing ,how did I see them I was going so slow in village areas ,I never seen any animals the odd farm ,it all looked every where just like a ramshackle dump just like the war films I use to watch from the late 1950s
We had not seen many people walking about, like normal places not a shop in site we have been driving about a few hours, like schools, or people in villages bus stops cars not seen one, the road narrowed the tarmac had vanished, i thought this is not right ,this cannot be the major route, then out of the blue another truck ,absolutely covered in muck and grime came towards me, that made me feel better ,not as I did not un well just unsure of is this the right road? but if you had seen the road you would have thought no way is the main road you would never believe it. [lots of men who have transited before or middle east men would have ] but I did not have that knowledge yet.
So onwards we went getting more shocked at what we saw as peoples places what they lived in also it was slow going and getting misty, all the damp around ,also being right hand drive ,not the best roads to be on after passing through a few villages i had not overtaken anything ,as there was nothing to overtake it was like no mans land
Nearing a village i came up behind ,what was to me a old railway carriage, I thought bloody hell what is this , no lights, sweet zb all ,it was just like the back of our freight trains [a guards van the old type the roof goes up to a slight arch,] only men in their late 60s would remember them .on the railway in England
I could not believe it it was going about 3 miles a hour ,my words were ,!what the zb,as i got closer there was a window in the back, and Jesus Christ ,there were people in it , good job i had my wife with me as i would have still been behind it now, in all I told her she was going to help me overtake this wagon ,that is [what it was ] she was not happy but i could not stay where i was i would just creep out a bit so she would be able to see well ahead ,it was a big responsibility ,i know for her but i trusted her ,so when she was sure it was ok i pulled out slightly and she straight away said its ok and went for it
My god ,it was the oldest type of transport you would ever see a old carriage ,side windows as well ,pulled by two zb ing horses like the “village bus” ,without a bus, full of people it made such a impression on me that i still remember it as yesterday…i new what to expect now.
I could bore you to death about what the country looked like to me ,however no different from any of the non EEC countries in the rest of EUROPE dire they. all eventually want to join us you could not blame them if that was the communist socialist regime they can go zb themselves.
Eventually after finding some hard ground I parked up for the night going around some towns we started to see the outskirts of Belgrade I am sure there was At.i.r .ihad i good idea i would soon come across their TIR route saying TRANSI Ti did not want to Transit i wanted to get to the city so i ignored the signs and carried on at least it looked as the main road went in towards the city, not like most of the communist countries towns and citys with massive TIR routes to keep you well away ,who would want to go anyway i doubt they had thought of that.
Driving through the suburbs on the most god awful roads i kept looking for anything resembling a cold store, kept looking out for types of chimneys and loads of stem or cold air blowing out. i had no idea i was map blind ,i did not have one ,soon i would have to start trying things to get someone to take me like a Taxi, ,so i parked up on a pice of waste ground, well it all looked like waste ground anyway, i got out, a CMR in my hand with ,”cooling house” haus, cold store, frigo plant,foigofri, ice cream ,anything word related to COLD i could remember from different countries that someone maybe recognise the word, and put it together to what i wanted ,no chance I went into like a store with hardly anything in ,they thought I had come form outer space.
After about half an hour i was seriously ■■■■■■ off ,i had smoked about 10 ■■■■ i went off again towards the city the way people were looking they had never seen a new DAF95 before even a trailer as big only a normal 40foot ,even down the roads i was going but i was now committed ,famous last words ,it will be right…
The buildings were getting bigger and more affluent looking, like a city even pavements, shops getting to look normal more motorised traffic, but the thing was not one type of truck transport at all ,i am starting to think i have dropped a bullock here ,now i am starting to twitch, come on police where are you, none ,it is now like me driving down oxford street in London ,but I am here in Belgrade ooh zb
More and more people are around looking staring ,{because they think my wife is driving, as she is their side] no way can i stop i am looking for a taxi rank or police ,nothing ,as i am going forward it looks as if the road disappears into buildings ahead ,Jesus i am imagining the phone call back to the office, "you are where ,"stuck in the MAIN DRAG ,you pillock
Still driving forward and blind and by luck the road turns sharp right as if by magic the road opened out in to a proper width road with wide pavements hops ,flags fountains ,like a massive square trams or buses ,but i should not be there that is for sure. at this time my wife had kept quite, but then she shouts look vic a massive American flag flying just down the road ,i thought ENGLISH SPEAKING i have cracked it ,all will be well,■■
I pulled up outside THE AMERICAN EMBASSY, jumped out. Paper in hand ,making my way to the door, when out of nowhere two men come running at me long flowing grey rain coats shouting some thing, what i don’t know, but i got the drift, and i shouted I am English ,English I am lost ,they stopped and looked stunned ,what ,one said ,i repeated it, all he could say was move the truck ,move the truck, he opened the door thinking it was left hand drive, and my wife sat there ,no steering wheel ,now he was zb ed.
They calmed down and i got in to the driving seat left the door open, and one man came round ,i told him what i wanted and i needed directions as i had no address next thing a police car arrives 2 officers get out the American speaks to them, explains what i want, they nod their heads and jesters for me to follow, and they took me to a cold store the other side of the city, well it was outside the main housing area [it was not as easy as that but i got to the correct one in the end] they let me off for being where I should have not been, no fine ,so i gave them some BENSONS ■■■■. Another day in the life of a fridge man .
RIDER [no doubt all the regular drivers who used to transit Belgrade and use the hotel national maybe would say what a load of old crap ,believe me it was a true as whatever I had never heard of the national as I had never transited that way and I made sure I never went there again
The outside the cold store was rough ground, reluctant to drive on it ,so half blocked the road and went up to the gate type house with a CMR with nothing on it, lots of jabbering on a phone to the office i suspect, and he asked me if i was Dutch, well Dutch, with guttural sounds so i said ya, ya, so he opened the gate and beckoned me in, thank zb for that plus he could not understand how I drive on the right side,I could tell as he was staring at my wife doing nothing a start at least, but when the cab passed him his eyes popped out of his head as he thought my wife was driving …
Thankfully a Dutch[NL] truck was on a loading bay, i knew then that it would be ok. I parked up found the office, one women in it ,and another man ,so i gave them my CMR[blank] and the look back was also blank, with lots of hand gestures like [,what the zb is this, there is nothing on it]
so i calmly said in perfect English ,ENGLISH ,ENGLATTER, no DUTCH, you know how that used to go until one side gives up, like i did .my next best bet would be the Dutch driver ,9 times out of 10 they would speak German, and i bet these people here would,
I looked in the Dutch cab ,not there so got to be in the cold store, so back i go to the office and gesture to go into the cold store for the other driver, etc, NO, i understood was the answer, so zb you to was my reply ,no response, so i go back to my cab and wait, it is now getting dark so it looks as this day is zb ed ,no one came out of the office so i started to get some food, just as workers were walking out of the factory, staring at the cab because my wife was in the driving seat…
They thought
SO after a while we called it a night ,went to bed and thought 6 oclock am would be a good time to get up.
In the grey morning the Dutch man was still on the bay, curtains drawn, so I would wait ,i had no choice, after the first coffee the old bowls needed attention also my wife so we headed in the office door ,towel in hands hoping for a loo ,or even a shower, tapping the office window the women came out of the office ,and was amazed to see another women, she did lots of chatter incomprehensible to us but was smiling ,so that was a bonus, and she shown us to the toilets , 1950s style spread axel and a tap of sorts ,cold water, brilliant.
Once we had finished, and went to the office the flying Dutch man was there, jabbering away in GERMAN well i think it was so i greeted him in my perfect English and handshake ,he must have been one of the very few who spoke little English ,my loss again, in the end i went for my CMR and he understood that was all i had and nothing else, so he kindly phoned up someone it was a Agent
This man arrived I could tell hge was important he had matching clothes like a suit on and a briefcase I gathered he knew about a English load but i was early, he then said to me TIR carnet, well he did not exactly say that but he picked one up and pointed to me by my looks he knew i did not have one ,so more chatter, on the phone, i had no idea what was being said but it sounded like a big problem.
…There was a TIR carnet that was in the type writer being filled in by the Dutch drive ,not the office women
What more could go wrong, the driver was loaded , and doing his own typing i could not believe it when he had finished the women took it next door done whatever gave it the driver backand he said to me his colleague would be here later loading tomorrow, maybe i might see him.
Once on the loading bay i gestured [will i put the fridge on now ]No was the answer so whatever the load is it must be well down in temperature -20 About 4 o clock they come round and tell me to pull of the bay. I do then go around the back and the back is full of sacks. so high from the floor i have no idea how many or how much weight is on the trailer ,so i thought zb ing shut the doors ,get sealed up and get the ■■■■ out of there it was getting dark and i knew ,the Dutch man had told me it was not the best of roads back to the Austrian boarder. But that was my goal and that was what i was going to do…,
Customs men I think they were,they sealed the back doors up ,and told me to go to the office, where the CMR had been filled in, of sorts ,also another man was there with a brief case so i thought he must be the agent he gave me some papers like invoices also one that looked like our T2L and he made it clear it was only to the exit border.lots of stamps on it writing i could not understand.CMR copy taken by him ,the rest for me lots of shaking hands.
I fired the fridge up, set it to minus 10 just to see how long it would take to freeze down. I would stop in half an hour to check it then if ok set it to minus -25 so off we go in the dark into the unknown, well all you ex ME men and commie block drivers would know what the transit road around Belgrade was like ruts like ditches, as it was my first time and with a new DAF every lurch and bump, and the low front of the cab ,i think it was a 36 ATI not a space cab, i could imagine it getting wrecked just on this road . I am sure i went past the Famous Hotel and park place THE NATIONAL .but i had no idea then. I was on the T.I.R ROUTE.
We eventually get near GYOA ,what time i do not remember but I called in a night don’t ask where I parked I have no idea ,in the morning I made my way to the border i knew i needed a agent now i did not know if the paper i had would get me through in to AUSTRIA or if i had to get it made this side so i though i would walk through first ,to see what the crack was and watch the others what they did…always a good move, as the AUSRTRIANS are as ignorant and arrogant ,even worse than the Swiss and they take some beating.
.I was looking for a English speaking agent so i went around the huts, and came up with , only one who did understand what i wanted but no conversation so i left it with them and told them my route home exit , then exit then Germany then in to Belgium at ACCHEN, ]exit Belgium, entry Dover ,agent in Dover was A and G so simple or so I thought as they made my papers up. I paid them with the DKV as i had no Austrian shillings, so the procedure began papers to be placed by different agencies ,police ,customs, etc. all went well until the final customs paper trail, if you have never done it you have not missed zb all if you are wrong they slam the window shut as if you are a bad smell, so you either stay there and tap the window, or meekly slip away and wait until others have done their papers or a shift change, and try to figure out what is wrong.
We retire to the cab like two undesirables , what is wrong ,god knows so we had a brew and i said to my wife ,stay here read or whatever ,i will go alone and try to sort it out…it is only some Austrians they cannot lock you up, i hope.
I have noticed over time that most European drivers from non eec countries are very quite and like subservient with all types of authority they come against so i thought maybe they did not know i was English I stood in line with the others waiting for the window to be opened just enough for the dirty yellowish curtains to be pulled back as they look at you as if you are from a different planet, as my time came i hoped it was not the same man ,who ZB me off before , my time came, the curtains pulled back the window open i put my papers in the window the curtains closed, next thing i know my papers are flying out of the window with a load of abuse ,i thought right ZB this
,i picked my papers up ,banged on the door they opened the door ,and i threw the papers back in ,with the most verbal abuse you would hear i went mental ,i lost it, i remember calling the one at the window the most god awful names, i kept saying English .someone had picked the papers up and was shouting at me raus, raus, so out i went but stood at the window and the other drivers there just kept quite every one looked gob smacked .i knew i was playing a daft game as they could really keep me there .
Eventually one of the customs men came out of the Smokey office leaned on the door flicked his fingers at me as if to say ,“yes you come here” and kept kept pointing at the papers on the CMR where it stated what the product was inside the truck, they could or would not understand the Yugoslavia meaning word for the product ,well the product was SWEET-CORN,
Now how do i say sweet corn, i remember saying "green giant "that was popular then as it is now ,and they wanted a sample of the product, but they would not undo the seal or reseal it, why ,god only knows ,so there, now i had learned one of the most important lessons i have ever learned about haulage , keep a sample of the load. IF POSSIBLE
I moved away from the window, i thought i have done it know, they will just ZB me off and wait