Mad things you did

UK PROFESSIONAL DRIVERS FORUMS OLD TIME LORRIES, COMPANIES AND DRIVERS (INTERACT
1

In 1969 I carried timber on contract A licence for my Uncle, a timber merchant, from the Scottish Borders, mainly to Wigan. Leaving Wigan empty one day in my Leyland Comet 4 wheeler, I stopped before the motorway on a slight incline. I can’t remember why, maybe to fill out my log sheet. I turned off the engine. When I tried to start again the battery was flat. Again, can’t remember why. As I was on a slight slope, I wiggled the steering, but no forward motion resulted. Eventually I got a crowbar from the passenger footwell, left the door open and crowbarred the front driver’s side wheel into motion. Jumped into the now moving cab, threw the crowbar across the cab and jammed it into gear. The engine roared into life and I was away.

In hindsight, this was an act of extreme stupidity, but at the time…

Anyone else had an attack of lunacy?

John.

2

One night on my return from tipping fruit in Covent Garden Market making my way down the M3 which I believe in those days only started at Bagshot, well feeling drowsy it was not uncommon for me to have a wet flannel in the cab to refresh me face and also used to slap myself on the face to re alert myself, we were sleep deprived doing that work as the norm was to leave for the market at about 9pm do your tip or tips, sometimes multidrop then drive back to the fruit gate at Southampton docks where you cat napped till that opened at 6am then you waited for the dockers to start at 07.30 and by the time they had there elongated breakfast you were lucky to get loaded by 11.30 then you had to sheet and rope the load and return home this was usually about 1pm. Then you had to try and sleep the afternoon getting up for an evening meal at about 6pm then the whole procedure would start again, on the Saturday you did what maintenance was needed.
Anyways on one of my many sorties to London Markets as i was coming down the M3 half asleep as i mentioned before i suddenly was confronted by the cab of a TK bedford with white side lights on right in front of me, brain only half engaged it was a couple of seconds and after i had swerved hard to my right to avoid what i thought was going to be a head on colusion i realized that it was on suspended tow backwards, i woke up pretty dam smart i can tell you and lucky it was about 3am so not alot of traffic about, cheers Buzzer.

3

4 of us on a night out at George Brays, Liverpool Rd, Islington. Yes, Brays was a rat hole but we were young and didn’t care. A wash and a meal and we were ready for a night out, “drop the trailer and we’ll take the Atki. unit” :open_mouth: We’d had a ‘beverage’ or two and soon realised the Atki was a bad idea and we got on the tube.
Following morning…“where’s the Atki”? Nobody could remember where we’d left it, it took 4 of us until lunchtime to find it. :blush:
When we got home old Fred Chappell went mad, he wasn’t at all pleased and threatened to sack the lot of us. :unamused:

4

I’m sure I must have done a few mad things over the years, I know for a fact that I’ve done any amount of stupid things…, but does stupid count as mad John ?

I once loaded a 20’ foot container off Tilbury docks with a 40’ flat trailer. I think this would have been about 1971. The trailer was only equipped with twistlocks for a 40’ box, so…being a smartarse, I had the straddle carrier drop it on the arse end, then secured it with the two back twistlocks, ( the trailer also had a chock rail obviously).

On my journey from Tilbury to the digs in Grays, it soon became apparent that I had limited traction on the drive axle of my 6LX powered S21 Fodden.

The box was loaded with bags of tiny glass beads. They’re used as a reflective medium in pedestrian crossings and the like. You may have noticed that pedestrian crossings are as slippery as ■■■■ in the rain.
You can thank those tiny glass beads for that.

A 20’ container full of the ■■■■ things on the back end of a forty footer also has a tendency to make the rig a little light over the turntable as you can imagine.

In an attempt to inject a modicum of sanity into the situation, on my arrival at those long forgotten digs in Grays I released the twistlocks from the container, then proceeded to blast about the wagon park, periodically slamming on the brakes in order to shift the box forward.

Well, I didn’t jackknife , miraculously, and the container ended up pretty much where I wanted it, in the middle of the trailer.

Unfortunately, on arriving at the delivery point in Liverpool, I was then faced with the unenviable task of handballing 20 tons of ■■■■■■ glass beads from a 20’ box, to a series of pallets dropped on the back end of the trailer by a bunch of workshy scousers.

So in conclusion, I would say that the maddest thing that I ever did was to remain in the poxy transport game for forty odd years.

5

Thanks for the answers here. Made me laugh out loud! It was prompted by the ratchet handbrake thread. I remember Ted Thomas chase a trailer for about half a mile (ok maybe 50ft) in the desert in Saudi, before giving up and watching it slide off the back and collapse the legs!

John.

6

I think I’ve already told the story about getting the 7.5 tonner stuck up a rural dead-end, with insufficient space to turn it, so having to get a tractor to drag it round in the front garden of a house, so here’s another one:

I was travelling in my car with a proper certified nutcase- prescription anti-depressants, the works. The throttle cable on the car broke but, luckily it was one of those modern cars with a computer control unit on the engine. If you let the clutch out really gently, the thing opened the throttle, because it did not want to stall. I was able to get enough juice into the engine by that method to get up to 2nd and 3rd gear, so a leisurely trip home was a better option than waiting for the AA. On a narrow-ish single-carriageway road, we came to a hill that defeated the computer, even in first gear. No problem, I said- we’ll get it going on the flat in first gear, then jump out and give it a hand. Off we went up the hill, idiot pushing from the rear and me giving it another 0.25bhp from the driver’s door on the centreline of the road. About half way up, a tanker came round the corner at some speed. I jumped into the car and slammed the door, just in time. Matey can’t have been that close to falling on his sword- his coward’s instincts had him well away, off onto the verge.

7

Eddie Heaton:
In an attempt to inject a modicum of sanity into the situation, on my arrival at those long forgotten digs in Grays I released the twistlocks from the container, then proceeded to blast about the wagon park, periodically slamming on the brakes in order to shift the box forward.

.

How did the container not fall off?? I thought the twistlocks were the only thing that held them on.

8

John West.When i worked in Saudi in the 70s,collapsed trailer landing legs was a several times a week occurrence.Most drivers twigged that the thing to do was to get one of our tug drivers to push on the back bumper while they hitched up.Use a ratchet handbrake?are you serious?

9

scadden:

Eddie Heaton:
In an attempt to inject a modicum of sanity into the situation, on my arrival at those long forgotten digs in Grays I released the twistlocks from the container, then proceeded to blast about the wagon park, periodically slamming on the brakes in order to shift the box forward.

.

How did the container not fall off?? I thought the twistlocks were the only thing that held them on.

The chock rails on either side of the container held it in position scadden. Once I’d encouraged the box to slide forward into more central position ( and a far more legal one weight distribution wise ), I then passed a couple of chains under the chassis of the trailer, threaded them through the bottom ISO castings of the box , then dogged them down.
This is what I should have done in the first place had I been wearing my thinking head on that particular afternoon, but not knowing the contents of the box at the time, nor its weight, I though I might get away with doing the job the lazy way.
Incidentally, it wasn’t uncommon to see containers fastened onto flats in this fashion all over the place back in the good old days, quite often even on flats without chock rails.
I’m not sure precisely when this practice became illegal.

10

Eddie Heaton:

scadden:

Eddie Heaton:
In an attempt to inject a modicum of sanity into the situation, on my arrival at those long forgotten digs in Grays I released the twistlocks from the container, then proceeded to blast about the wagon park, periodically slamming on the brakes in order to shift the box forward.

.

How did the container not fall off?? I thought the twistlocks were the only thing that held them on.

The chock rails on either side of the container held it in position scadden. Once I’d encouraged the box to slide forward into more central position ( and a far more legal one weight distribution wise ), I then passed a couple of chains under the chassis of the trailer, threaded them through the bottom ISO castings of the box , then dogged them down.
This is what I should have done in the first place had I been wearing my thinking head on that particular afternoon, but not knowing the contents of the box at the time, nor its weight, I though I might get away with doing the job the lazy way.
Incidentally, it wasn’t uncommon to see containers fastened onto flats in this fashion all over the place back in the good old days, quite often even on flats without chock rails.
I’m not sure precisely when this practice became illegal.

Flat trailers with twist locks that can legally carry standard ISO containers are used to this day.

11

And on the subject of ratchet trailer parking brakes.

I got called out to recover an Irish rig from the northbound Knutsford services one time. It was a Fiat or an Iveco or summat, either way, a transmission handbrake job. It was the complete outfit, 40 foot boxvan with those yellow chevrons down the side and all. My brief being to front end lift it, then drag the whole shebang up to the Fiat agents at Walton Summit.

The driver wasn’t with it, he’d pulled into the services in the early hours of the morning and just dumped it on the car parking area to the north, just before the fuel pumps. Of course when I arrived there in the afternoon, I couldn’t get within a hundred yards of the ■■■■ thing , as it was totally surrounded by cars.

Being unable to hook up to it, I got the reception to tannoy a few registrations then decided to make a start taking off the propshaft. But wait,… it’s got a transmission handbrake, it’s on a rearward slope, the wrecker with all the scotches on is half a mile away… :bulb: …that’s it, I’ll ■■■■■■ the ratchet brake on until the cable’s almost at breaking point.

So the bolts are coming out of the prop nicely, until we get to the last one that is… :bulb: …Lets drift it out…,bingo, that’s got it…Oh Bugger !, the bloody drift’s stuck now… :bulb: …lets try knocking the bloody drift from side to side with the hammer…Well the drift came out all right and the prop dropped on the deck.

I’m sure most of us have experienced those few seconds just prior to a disaster when everything seems to happen in slow motion.

I managed to roll out from under the rig just before one of the front wheels went over me , then had the unique experience of witnessing fifty feet of driverless metal remorselessly rolling backwards in slow motion down a car park full of parked cars.

It probably only travelled about thirty feet, and it was all over in seconds, although the repercussions went on for slightly longer. Talk about a difficult phone call. But it was an Irish trailer wasn’t it ?, and those lads don’t normally bother with optional extras such as working trailer brakes do they ? I should have known that, of course I should.

Still, no one got hurt, although a couple of fancy cars did get written off… I thought maybe a bit of T Cut might have sorted the job out, but evidently not , as the roofs of the cars had got a bit bent.

Does this one qualify for the thread John, I don’t think it gets much madder than that to be honest.

12

gingerfold:

Eddie Heaton:

scadden:

Eddie Heaton:
In an attempt to inject a modicum of sanity into the situation, on my arrival at those long forgotten digs in Grays I released the twistlocks from the container, then proceeded to blast about the wagon park, periodically slamming on the brakes in order to shift the box forward.

.

How did the container not fall off?? I thought the twistlocks were the only thing that held them on.

The chock rails on either side of the container held it in position scadden. Once I’d encouraged the box to slide forward into more central position ( and a far more legal one weight distribution wise ), I then passed a couple of chains under the chassis of the trailer, threaded them through the bottom ISO castings of the box , then dogged them down.
This is what I should have done in the first place had I been wearing my thinking head on that particular afternoon, but not knowing the contents of the box at the time, nor its weight, I though I might get away with doing the job the lazy way.
Incidentally, it wasn’t uncommon to see containers fastened onto flats in this fashion all over the place back in the good old days, quite often even on flats without chock rails.
I’m not sure precisely when this practice became illegal.

Flat trailers with twist locks that can legally carry standard ISO containers are used to this day.

Perhaps I should have made it clearer that I was talking about trailers without twistlocks gingerfold. We used to carry either 4 x 10’ or 5 x 8’ insulated Geest containers on a 40’ trailer with nothing but a rope cross over the back box. It was legal in 1969, but I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t be legal today.

13

I had a job one day moving three loads of unconverted reels of toilet paper from one paper converter’s factory in Bolton to a sister company in Stockport. The lorry was a long wheel base 1969 G registered AEC Marshal 6x2 with a 28ft flat. The reels were half the width of large brown board reels, so two fitted side by side across the flat on the roll; they were the same diameter as brown board reels but the paper wasn’t as heavy. I did the first two loads at two reels high, sheeted and roped in the time-honoured way. The factory at Stockport told me I had to be back with the third load by half past four in the afternoon and in a hurry something must have distracted me. I never carried ropes in the cab, I always put them under the sheets, but when I got back to Bolton to my horror I discovered that I’d left my sheets and ropes at Stockport. All I had was a reel skid, my fly sheet, and a short length of rope that I used for holding folded sheets against the headboard when empty. Being young (22 or 23) and daft I thought to myself I’ll manage with what I’ve got. When I got this third load on there were two reels left, and as there were no low bridges to negotiate I put them on top, in the middle of the load, but not side by side. The rope was just sufficient for one cross on the back reels, and the fly sheet held the rest of the load. Absolute madness to go with it like that, but I got it to Stockport intact, where happily my sheets and ropes were still on the unloading dock.

If anything had gone wrong the toilet paper would have come in handy :blush: :blush:

14

I was on nights shunting when I worked for MFS on the Littlewoods contract. Everything was loaded by 0130 hrs and I was due to clock off at 0230. My TSM asked me to go and collect a dolly which had been serviced up at our VMU at Thurcroft. I took a Ford Transcontinental and on arrival night shift fitters told me there was a recently MOTd 40 foot dry freight to go back as well. So I picked up the dolly and shoved it under the 40ft knowing full well I would be seriously overlength and set off,thinking nobody would see me.
I got back to the depot,dropped the trailer off and parked the Ford up and told the TSM what I had done,he just called me a daft sod but saved going back for the trailer with a unit.
What I didn’t know was that our Operations Manager had been out on the ■■■■ and was in a taxi that followed me down into Maltby,and he wasn’t that inebriated that he couldn’t help but notice the 40 ft trailer on a dolly as I turned into the yard……………
A few days passed until a letter was shoved into my hand one night stating that if it happened again it would be trailer P45 for yours truly. :laughing: