That time of the month
The man that took the Shorpe out of Scunthorpe
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Wrecker of vehicles, dragger of foot.
pic posted elsewhere,he might be cursed ,have a 40 mile commute for a nightshift trunk and be the ultimate robolimper,but at 42kpa on zero hours means theres a plus point in there somewhere .( though being the subject of constant ridicule on here may not be one of them)… 
Contraflow:
nsmith1180:
When did agency drivers become known as Limpers and Limpets? Its a recent thing on here and I’m not a fan of it. I am an agency driver…■■■■ it up buttercup.
Buttercup. Is that a new nomenclature for part-time drivers? It is hard to keep abreast of the latest developments. .
the nodding donkey:
Contraflow:
nsmith1180:
When did agency drivers become known as Limpers and Limpets? Its a recent thing on here and I’m not a fan of it. I am an agency driver…■■■■ it up buttercup.
Buttercup. Is that a new nomenclature for part-time drivers? It is hard to keep abreast of the latest developments. .
I think he wrote buttercup because he couldn’t be bothered to write something along the lines of,woofterfannywhalekissing treehugger if things like that have you throwing your toys out of the pram,then wouldn’t it not be easier just going back to working as a lap dancer in a gay bar …or something similar… 
dieseldog999:
the nodding donkey:
Contraflow:
nsmith1180:
When did agency drivers become known as Limpers and Limpets? Its a recent thing on here and I’m not a fan of it. I am an agency driver…■■■■ it up buttercup.
Buttercup. Is that a new nomenclature for part-time drivers? It is hard to keep abreast of the latest developments. .
I think he wrote buttercup because he couldn’t be bothered to write something along the lines of,woofterfannywhalekissing treehugger if things like that have you throwing your toys out of the pram,then wouldn’t it not be easier just going back to working as a lap dancer in a gay bar …or something similar…
Ah yes, that would make sense.
As a full time employed driver, you can pretend to be a limper while sat in the Rdc waiting room , it is very simple, put a big stone in one shoe.
Super Glue a Blue Tooth phone in one ear to make out you have gone mad by talking to yourself .
On a serious note, I see a lot of drivers which look like they have a serious accident and injuries .
A few that when they walk, it looks like one side of the hip is missing or had a major operation on the lower back or legs.
I feel bad to ask what happened in case it brings back memories of wrecking somebody else’s truck .
With respect to the OP. In the short time I have been here I have concluded that if you believe that 10% of what is posted here is sincere, you would be being generous.
Anybody who takes the ■■■■■■■■ that we take the time to post here as genuine needs to find another hobby. It’s a useful alternative to Boom Beach when you’re waiting in the sin bin for a bay and don’t want to risk being disturbed by being invited to take a bay during an episode of Preacher.
I understand that your post is probably tongue in cheek. If it isn’t though, is being called a limper really that big an issue? You know there are real problems in the world, kids dying of cancer and ■■■■? It’s just a generic joke name.
Conor called me a nob and another mean name last week. Which he even spelled correctly, but I can’t remember what it was, in the same sentence. Didn’t even smudge my mascara, honest. Why don’t you suggest another name we can use for an agency driver that would save us a few keystrokes?
yorkielee:
I was an agency driver and I got called a few names. Not that any of it bothered me but the thing is I absolutely hate agency’s and what they stand for. People should be working full time hours with a real wage. Thanks to all these agencies n people wanting flexible days as not only [zb] up driving jobs but all jobs. I was on agency as I couldn’t get a full time job with a real wage working regular hours. Now finally I have n hopefully the agencies will all get closed down and abolish 0 hours contracts.
I’m on agency and I’ve been doing full time whenever I’ve wanted it and with the exception of the current place I’m at I’ve usually been on more money than the permanent staff. Perhaps the reason you couldn’t get a full time job is the reason you don’t get full time work offered with agencies?
Certainly if that was the case I’d personally be taking a long honest look at myself to see what I was doing wrong. Given in another thread you seemingly need to use a spell checker to spell simple words and can’t grasp the correct use of their, they’re and there I would hazard a guess that you couldn’t get a full time job because your application forms were like the illiterate ■■■■■■■■ you post on here and looked like someone who hadn’t gone to school had filled them in so your form went straight in the bin.
yorkielee:
I was an agency driver and I got called a few names. Not that any of it bothered me but the thing is I absolutely hate agency’s and what they stand for. People should be working full time hours with a real wage. Thanks to all these agencies n people wanting flexible days as not only [zb] up driving jobs but all jobs. I was on agency as I couldn’t get a full time job with a real wage working regular hours. Now finally I have n hopefully the agencies will all get closed down and abolish 0 hours contracts.
^^ This.
All this wanting to work hours you want any old time, self employed business is corrosive to working conditions in the longer term. Short sighted. I don’t have a great opinion of long term “lifestyle” limpers.
Conor:
yorkielee:
I was an agency driver and I got called a few names. Not that any of it bothered me but the thing is I absolutely hate agency’s and what they stand for. People should be working full time hours with a real wage. Thanks to all these agencies n people wanting flexible days as not only [zb] up driving jobs but all jobs. I was on agency as I couldn’t get a full time job with a real wage working regular hours. Now finally I have n hopefully the agencies will all get closed down and abolish 0 hours contracts.I’m on agency and I’ve been doing full time whenever I’ve wanted it and with the exception of the current place I’m at I’ve usually been on more money than the permanent staff. Perhaps the reason you couldn’t get a full time job is the reason you don’t get full time work offered with agencies?
Certainly if that was the case I’d personally be taking a long honest look at myself to see what I was doing wrong. Given in another thread you seemingly need to use a spell checker to spell simple words and can’t grasp the correct use of their, they’re and there I would hazard a guess that you couldn’t get a full time job because your application forms were like the illiterate ■■■■■■■■ you post on here and looked like someone who hadn’t gone to school had filled them in so your form went straight in the bin.
You’re not on more money Conor. Have you tried an abacus?
People having to use fingers to count drawn by a slightly inflated hourly rate into self employed liability.
Kerragy:
Why don’t you suggest another name we can use for an agency driver that would save us a few keystrokes?
How about ‘driver’, we are no less qualified than many of you, why do we need to distinguish between the two?
James the cat:
All this wanting to work hours you want any old time, self employed business is corrosive to working conditions in the longer term. Short sighted. I don’t have a great opinion of long term “lifestyle” limpers.
Why don’t you have a great opinion of those of us who don’t tie into the company line just for a quiet and easy life? Why are we the subject of your scorn because we are willing to take the more difficult route to achieve the work/life balance we want?
The point I was making, and it was a serious point by the way is that several of the recent uses of the term limper, and the recent possibly auto-correct induced use of the term Limpet have come across is insulting. People on here tend to use the term Limper to describe someone under qualified, incompetent and of generally unsavory appeal and appearance. It is the setting in which the term is used which makes it offensive.
I would also point out that while there are some agency drivers are are under qualified, incompetent and of generally unsavory appeal and appearance, there are many more who are not. There are also many full timers who fit the same description.
Most of us are skilled men, more skilled than the average full timer on direct comparison because we have to be. We don’t know what wagon we will be driving from one day to the next, what job we will be doing. Many have every additional qualification under the sun, ADR, Hiab, Moffet et al because we never know when we might need to use them. (I dont btw claim to have moffet or ADR yet but will be doing my ADR in November ish and probably wont do a moffet, not enough work to make it pay back.)
Full timers on the other hand tend to be a lot more specialised. They have been driving the same wagon since the days of Churchill and know it inside and out, they are experts in the doing of their specific job, be it trunking, brick and block, containers or whatever. We are the Jacks of all trades, you are the Masters of one and there is a place for all of us. But there is no need for slang terms, insulting or otherwise to distinguish between the two.
…" we are the Jacks of all trades ".
One of this years best lines so far.
nsmith1180:
James the cat:
All this wanting to work hours you want any old time, self employed business is corrosive to working conditions in the longer term. Short sighted. I don’t have a great opinion of long term “lifestyle” limpers.Why don’t you have a great opinion of those of us who don’t tie into the company line just for a quiet and easy life? Why are we the subject of your scorn because we are willing to take the more difficult route to achieve the work/life balance we want?
I explained why in my first sentence. Your misguided interpretation of not towing the company line is undermining the long term survival of working conditions.
We have employment laws, for years terms and conditions have been argued over, we can still obtain employer pensions (under attack), we still have paid holiday in this country. Yet some people see fit to bypass all this for their short term gain using IR35 dodging self employment, umbrella schemes and various other dubious methods of hiding what should be employment.
When we’re eventually forced into sitting on self employment counting our receipts and idly mulling over the latest HMRC letter demanding a return whilst waiting for the phone to ring, excuse me if I don’t buy the lifer limpers a pint. I probably won’t be able to afford it.
It is amazing how times have changed but the full timers are either too stupid to realise or just jealous which is why they resort to insults to make themselves feel better.
For the last 3 years, I have been able to pick and choose my work ALL YEAR ROUND. There appears to be no more “January Dead Period”.
Everywhere I go, I am on a lot more than the full timers, most of the cab happy full timers are either on job and knock or on stupid amounts of “Basic Hours”. I work for a very good rate, get time and a half after 8 or on Saturdays and Double Bubble Sundays.
If I want a week off over Christmas, I take it. I laughed when I saw posters up in a transport office stating “Holiday Ban from November to January - If not booked, you can’t have them”.
If I don’t want to start 9 hours after I finish, I don’t (and never do!). None of this “For the needs of the company BS”. I have seen drivers finishing a shift at midnight, debrief until half past and be told to come in at 9AM and they say “OK”!!! What the funk? I am in a position where I can tell them to go and [ZB] themselves.
If I don’t want to start at 0100 in the morning, I don’t. As above, too many people are told to come in at stupid times, and they do… because their contract says so.
If I want to work 3 days a week over the weekend, I can, and when I do, I still clear more than the full time trampers do that end up with 65+ hours on their time card.
If I am not happy with the truck, it get’s VOR’d, I can only assume the reason so many vehicles are not VOR’d is because the cab happy driver doesn’t want his baby off the road or doesn’t want to seem awkward. (EDIT) Also, of course, some drivers on job and knock would rather run with an illegal tyre because he isn’t getting paid for the 2 hours it would take to change it. Even if I was on a job rate, I would rather lose 2 hours of my life getting a tyre changed than risk a stop and fine/3pts or even worse, risk a serious accident.
I won’t take my break in a DC or while unloading, yet, many full timers do. I get deducted my break, I take it where and when I deem necessary.
I can jump into any truck on the road, and drive it. A lot of the full time fanny’s have to be inducted/“Familiarised” with the vehicle before they are allowed on the road with them. I spent 5 minutes laughing when a full timer was given a new Renault and couldn’t reverse it, I stopped laughing after 5 minutes and showed him how to engage reverse gear 
I also did a few other qualifications too, including ADR, just to give me flexibility of choice between customers.
I cracked on and did my DCPC - in fact I am done until 2024 now, yet the full timers were saying “We aren’t doing that ■■■■”. I increased my rates by £1 per hour when the DCPC came into force, I also noticed a number of the “Aged” drivers seem to have left the industry. I feel the DCPC was a good thing becuase it either proved the liars “We are not doing that” wrong and also reduced the number of “Freelance” drivers, hence the January quiet period has gone and the demand for drivers have gone up.
(To be continued)
Leaving a Renault in D whilst selecting R is hardly rocket science, but well done mate for imparting that wisdom upon full timers 
eagerbeaver:
Leaving a Renault in D whilst selecting R is hardly rocket science, but well done mate for imparting that wisdom upon full timers
It seemed to be rocket science to that driver, he had everything going, wipers, full beams, horn, hazards
It got funnier when he actually started going backwards too…
James the cat:
nsmith1180:
James the cat:
All this wanting to work hours you want any old time, self employed business is corrosive to working conditions in the longer term. Short sighted. I don’t have a great opinion of long term “lifestyle” limpers.Why don’t you have a great opinion of those of us who don’t tie into the company line just for a quiet and easy life? Why are we the subject of your scorn because we are willing to take the more difficult route to achieve the work/life balance we want?
I explained why in my first sentence. Your misguided interpretation of not towing the company line is undermining the long term survival of working conditions.
We have employment laws, for years terms and conditions have been argued over, we can still obtain employer pensions (under attack), we still have paid holiday in this country. Yet some people see fit to bypass all this for their short term gain using IR35 dodging self employment, umbrella schemes and various other dubious methods of hiding what should be employment.
When we’re eventually forced into sitting on self employment counting our receipts and idly mulling over the latest HMRC letter demanding a return whilst waiting for the phone to ring, excuse me if I don’t buy the lifer limpers a pint. I probably won’t be able to afford it.
So let me get this straight. Somehow, by not competing with you for your nice secure job, I am making your job less secure? Perhaps I should go back into full time and show you up for what you are, you are the paid worker version of benefits street! In your arguments so far you have cited the way I put at risk your company pension and your 5.6 weeks Annual Leave. You have accused me, falsely I might add, of tax evasion.
You have shown that the only drive you possess comes from the beating heart of whatever fleet spec FM, R460, Premium or CF75 your loving boss deems happy to inflict on you. As for your claim that employer pensions are under attack, you are wrong. More people are being provided with employer pensions now because of auto-enrollment and if the defined benefit pensions are dying out, that is only because they are unsustainable. More people are now living longer which means that the money saved away to pay for pensions has to go further and it cant, thats why your cushy company pension is erroding, not because I have ambition.
On to the tax thing. If I had done 48 hours a week, (full time contract) for 48 weeks last year at £10 per hour on a full time contract I would have paid £2,779 in combined tax and NI payments. Instead I created £9k of VAT, which under the flat rate scheme I was required to pay £4.5k to the exchequer. I didn’t pay income tax last year because my earnings didn’t reach the threshold required. I didn’t need the money so I left it in the business. Because of asset purchases last year the government gave the company Corporation Tax relief which equaled the amount of tax owed.
Had I not had plans to buy assets in the future, to build a business and in time, give someone, almost like you but with a better attitude a full time job, then I would have taken a dividend, payed tax on that and contributed yet more to the exchequer than you could even hope of doing.
SEDriver - Thanks for the support but I don’t think your argument is going to carry much weight with this idiot. All he seems to care about is the fact that our choices put in jeopardy his god given right to ground rabbit droppings, disguised as coffee for 20p a cup.
I tip my hat to agency drivers, they leave the employed drivers big boots to fill
