.
Back in the days when Newport cattle market was a regular park-up, there used to be a fair few kicking about, and unless it was absolutely ■■■■■■■ down you would usually get a knock or two. Best not to open your door to them, lest you suffer the fate of one driver I knew who ended up chasing the bird across the park in his shreddies after she ran off with his trousers, wallet left in them of course.
Story went round about a tart who knocked on the door of a lorry double-manned by a husband/wife team, apparently the conversation went something like this…
Tart; “Want any business '?”
Driver; “I’ve got me missus in 'ere with me”.
(Silence for a couple of seconds)
Tart; “Does she fancy a ■■■■■■■■■?”
Harry Monk:
truckman020:
why would anyone go with a prostitute in the first placeA hell of a lot cheaper than a wife?
If the “services” on offer only amount to a nosh and “nothing below the belt” on her, then is it a good deal if all you’re getting is “head” as it were? 
I see trucks parked along the New Road A2 on my way home at night - and often wonder if there’s any “Business” going on in there. There are quite a few rather rough looking toms walking about most nights in any case.
Sidevalve:
Back in the days when Newport cattle market was a regular park-up, there used to be a fair few kicking about, and unless it was absolutely ■■■■■■■ down you would usually get a knock or two. Best not to open your door to them, lest you suffer the fate of one driver I knew who ended up chasing the bird across the park in his shreddies after she ran off with his trousers, wallet left in them of course.Story went round about a tart who knocked on the door of a lorry double-manned by a husband/wife team, apparently the conversation went something like this…
Tart; “Want any business '?”
Driver; “I’ve got me missus in 'ere with me”.
(Silence for a couple of seconds)
Tart; “Does she fancy a ■■■■■■■■■?”
Is that the “Hard Sell”… Or the “Soft Cell”? This ■■■■■■■■■■■■ you give me…
Ask the cab knockers for receipt to claim for expenses as " entertainment " .
Get the tax back .
Had exactly the same down near the old police compound in Donny which I presume is where you’re parked. I had near side curtains round and heard the knock on passenger side. Ignored it twice before she was rattling on the bloody lock door!! I got out and politely told her I wasn’t interested.
“Why not driver? I’m the bet around here I’m clean and I don’t steal”
“No I’m fine thanks I’m happily married”
“I’m cheap aswell!!!”
“Er… No”.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
switchlogic:
Mikey D:
Only had the knock once , shareshill near M6 diesel , it was 2am tho
At least call round earlier witha price list and book an appointment
Only plsce I’ve had it happen too, last time I was polite to the first two, but last one at 3am got an earful for waking me up. If I want a shag I’ll just fire up Grindr
I wonder how many drivers are googling Grindr now
double post
Harry Monk:
truckman020:
why would anyone go with a prostitute in the first placeA hell of a lot cheaper than a wife?
All women are in that profession. It’s just that some don’t try and hide it with a marriage certificate. A fiver in the street is cheap for a bj. I paid for my last one with a Ford Fiesta
A quick nosh sounds like a win, until you consider you can catch (and pass on) some lovely STI’s. Some may consider oral ■■■ is ‘safe’; but that isn’t the case. Still best to pop your rain coat on. But then that kinda ruins the fun…
ive had unprotected everything at every opperchancity I could afford in uk and Europe for the last 40 years and never caught anything…I cant speak for my clakkerbags though as they turned green and fell off in Antwerp one night about 30 years ago so ive no idea what state there in now. 
dieseldog999:
I cant speak for my clakkerbags though as they turned green and fell off in Antwerp one night about 30 years ago so ive no idea what state there in now.
Ive found them in me garden…
Dipper_Dave:
dieseldog999:
I cant speak for my clakkerbags though as they turned green and fell off in Antwerp one night about 30 years ago so ive no idea what state there in now.Ive found them in me garden…
0
Don’t tell my Mrs. She got married for them, she’ll go mad if finds out they’re growing wild.
Dipper_Dave:
dieseldog999:
I cant speak for my clakkerbags though as they turned green and fell off in Antwerp one night about 30 years ago so ive no idea what state there in now.Ive found them in me garden…
0
Have you got any more of those pictures,very interesting.
bobbya:
Dipper_Dave:
dieseldog999:
I cant speak for my clakkerbags though as they turned green and fell off in Antwerp one night about 30 years ago so ive no idea what state there in now.Ive found them in me garden…
0
Have you got any more of those pictures,very interesting.
■■? 
bobbya:
Dipper_Dave:
dieseldog999:
I cant speak for my clakkerbags though as they turned green and fell off in Antwerp one night about 30 years ago so ive no idea what state there in now.Ive found them in me garden…
0
Have you got any more of those pictures,very interesting.
As much as id like to say I have this photo was bought to you by a deep search on google images and I can take no credit for an innocent photo of wild clackerbags.
Due to me being one click away from premod as tempting as it is I am unable to contribute anymore to this thread except to say I have partaken in the subject matter due to being caught at a weak moment.
Only advice I can give is hide your valuables before partaking in the business on offer, this includes your truck keys but keep a spare handy in a special hideyhole.
Anybody remember the blonde tart that used to drive in the truck park at Immingham about 10 yrs ago, walk around the trucks in stockings and suspenders knocking on every cab door and putting a ‘menu’ under your wiper.
‘Menu’ ?.mind you I’ve eaten many a tart in my time
robroy:
Anybody remember the blonde tart that used to drive in the truck park at Immingham about 10 yrs ago, walk around the trucks in stockings and suspenders knocking on every cab door and putting a ‘menu’ under your wiper.
I believe her muffins where very good value apart from a slight salty after taste.
Beef curtains with a side order of chefs special sauce to die for apparently…
Avoid the spotted ■■■■ with custard though…
Allegedly due to some confusion she is also banned from come dine with me.
I parked down Decoy on Saturday night and got 3 knocks on the door. I’d only just parked up and got a knock on the door “bit of everything for £20?” no thanks! The same one came back about midnight smashed out of her head and looking even worse. You’ve got to be bloody desperate to do these mingers.