Adrian Boorman, of course. Amazed I forgot his name.
Regarding, the number one driver gig. I never wanted it either and the responsibility that went with it. Just wanted to be number two and drive. However, sometimes I had no choice but to be number one because I was known as a calm driver so the office always put the agency guys or newbies with me. Lost count of the number of times I had to babysit a driver. I would normally put him in the seat down to Dover while I did the passenger list for the ferry. However, I was also keeping a discreet eye on the new guy’s driving, and could normally tell within the first half hour whether it was going to be a good trip or not? I personally took pride in driving the coach as smoothly as I could. Gentle acceleration and braking, and try not to let the passengers feel a single gear change. Especially with a steward or stewardess at the back serving hot drinks. The number of drivers though that just could not drive the coach smoothly 
Three memorable ones :
The first was the driver going down the M25 like a lunatic, tailgating cars and lorries, swerving from one lane to another, and stamping on the brake, throwing the hostess all over the back of the coach. I had to have a serious word with him down at Dover, before we even got on the ferry !
The second one. I took the coach from Calais to Paris, and did the Paris tour, driving and doing the spiel at the same time. He then took over driving from the Eiffel Tower and we got back onto the autoroute, stopping briefly at the services for a toilet break and leg stretch. While we stopped, I carefully told him how to get to our diesel stop at the BP truckstop at Macon Nord and to get me out of the bunk there. I asked him if he fully understood the directions and he said yes. I went down to the bunk and fell asleep. Next thing I know, the phone goes and he says “time to change over”. I go up top and look around. We’re at the peage just before Lyon.
“FFS, what happened to Macon Nord?” “Oh”, he says, “I think I missed the turn off so I carried on”. Bleedin’ hell, I look at the gauge and it’s well below the quarter.
I climbed into the seat and then he goes “right I’m off to bed now”. The cheeky little bleeder ! Misses the fuel stop, leaving us low on fuel, and now bleedin’ leaves me to sort it out. I had to drive through Lyon and then eventually stop at a Total services down the road and use my own credit card to put some fuel in until we could find another BP.
The third driver on the the way to Dover, proudly boasts that he’s done all of Europe, knows it like the back of his hand, and had got not just one, but two tee shirts.
Ok then, took him at his word. We were on a Port Grimaud (near St Tropez) shuttle, pretty simple you’d think. I got it down to Macon and he would take it to the breakfast stop. I actually checked he knew about the Orange split for the two autoroutes (one goes to Nice and the other goes towards Spain) and that he knew which way to go? He scoffed and said “of course”. I went to bed and fell asleep. Next thing I know, the phone goes. The coach is silent with the engine turned off and there is a scuffing noise above me of restless passengers moving their feet. I answered the bunk phone.
“Can you come up, I’m a bit lost” he says. I go up top and look out the window. We are in an industrial looking area, and there is a bright neon sign in the dawn light with the words ‘Gare Maritime de Marseille’ brightly illuminated. FFS ! We’re at the bleedin’ 'Marseille ferry port. How the **** did we land up here■■?
“Yeah”, he says. “I followed the sign for Marseille and got a bit mixed up when I lost the autoroute. I thought I’d better follow the signs for the port and try from there”
If any of you know the Provence region, you’ll know that he took the correct turning at the Orange split, and then later there is another split with Marseille one way, and Nice the other way. Marseille is way off route for the direction to Nice, and it’s far from easy to back track. You have to go right through Marseille city and head towards Aubagne, and then head down some back roads to the A8 autoroute, or continue towards Toulon and head up that way. Suffice to say, he added about two hours or more to the trip and we had to find our way with maps as sat nav wasn’t then available . So much for him knowing Europe like the ‘back of his hand’ !!!
I have to say though, he wasn’t the only driver to end up in Marseille. A few other drivers ended up there as well over the years.
However, despite problems with certain drivers, the Cantabrica years were some of the best of my life. The sun, the beaches, the swimming pools, the banter, the drivers and their 'individual characters, the laughs and the practical jokes. It was all like a paid holiday twice a week, with just a bit of driving involved. I know some truck drivers are adamant that they’d never want to drive a coach or have a live cargo. I respect your views, but all I can say is, you missed a lot of fun times if you never drove a coach, especially on holiday shuttles down to the Med ! Would I do it all again?? You bet I would 
Just a quck word on practical jokes. On our earlier coaches, the entrance to the bunk was just next to the courier seat. It always amused me to sneak out of the bunk towards the courier seat, and suddenly grab the hostess’s ankle as she sat there, making her scream, and then I’d quickly climb back into the bunk before she whacked me.
Another one was, before we left the yard, I’d tape one of them ■■■■ machines underneath a passenger seat about three rows back. The ■■■■ machine had an infared remote. Then, as I was driving, I’d watch in the mirror behind my sunglasses as I activated it occasionally, and try not to laugh as the passengers looked at each other, trying to work out who the ‘phantom farter’ was? Stupid, I know, but it helped to pass the time 