Retired Old ■■■■:
Saviem, mon brave,
In my day, it was expected that potatoes would all be out of the ground well before the land turned to the quagmire that we are seeing recently. It appears that we are hearing the same old tale year after year from you and your agricultural brethren and, to be perfectly honest, the story is beginning to wear a tiny bit thin.
May I, in what may be perceived as a bit of “Teaching grandma to ■■■■ eggs”, suggest that you move your overpriced, diesel-guzzling technology into the crop in September, as is traditionally the “proper” time, rather than concentrating on running booze trips into Frogland on the pretext of collecting rare vehicles.
I trust that this advice will be accepted in the spirit in which it was intended and that you will seek to improve your performance in future seasons.
Yours sincerely,
Chip Spud.
Evening Gentlemen,
Dearest Chip Spud,…and all you wonderful “spud” lovers and growers, perhaps a few details to point ones wives/partners/mistresses/…(no only in French political circles), or yourselves, when perusing the “farm door” displays in Mr Morrison, Sainsbury, Tesco, dear Wally Wallmart, or our Teutonic Bretherens discounters Aldi and Liddle, (did you know that they really do share the same store designer)?
Chip Spud, we were lifting back in the September mists…and not using a lot of the “claret”, ours is all new stuff…approved by Brussels I will have you know…which is more than can be said for the antisceptic Euro Sprout, so common in the low countries and dearest, (but so lethargic) France… gives one catastrophic wind I am told by a local Barmaid of more than ample girth…rather reminiscent of a Great Western Saddle Tank Locomotive in a low cut frock!!!
Now I do like growing spuds…those fluffy delectable Maris Piper, or even the firm King Edwards. We do a lot of the pre pack housewives favourite Estima, (but they can suffer with dry rot)…and we have just finished “lifting” our contracts…mud glorious mud…I`m trying to swop my Valtra for a couple of Elephants!!!
Our “high end” clients will pay the right price for our Epicure, or even the Tresdale`s, a great salad potatoe, (and the latter resists Blackleg so well)!! And we do grow a fair acreage of Ulster Sceptre…the worlds most delicate potato.
Again for the “high end” clients we grow some Vivaldi…as delicate as his music…so beloved of non performing customer call centres!!!
Then of course in my early days I grew Zahov for those rate cutting taskmasters the Potato Crisp manufacturers! But gave that up as a very bad job…but we had some luck with the Fryers favourite, (if they want a great reputation), Mr Zohar, a good early, and frys a treat!
Possibly Seddons Oldham yard shown in ZBs photograph, should have been ploughed up to grow these "earlys,............ shame on you and Bewick, for passing off Oldham products as those of Fallings Park!..........You should both be condemned to a diet of those rock hard Maris Peer
s with your repast for your mischief!!!
I have just enjoyed a great Shepards Pie, (wonder if Chillinton Estate will miss their Shepard)■■? Topped with fresh…and well washed Maris Piper…and of course…a wonderful Claret…
But now its time for my nightcap, and the 83 Bollinger is cooling well…
Cheerio for now…BUT EAT MORE SPUDS…