rotfpmsl 
this must really be a thread of the year
That device looks great, can certainly make your emergency callout more comfortableā¦ but what if it rains? Imagine somebody sitting on that, truck/ā ā ā ā mag in one hand, headlamp on, the other hand holding a brollieā¦
ā¦ or in the worst case of getting caught short - in a traffic jam. out of cab, bog roll in hand, jog to toolbox, portallo out, jump over the railingsā¦
I,ve bin feeling a bit depressed the last couple of days. 
It has been caused by the Angus Nairn kerfuffle.on another thread. 
Then I started reading this thread. It was getting better as it went on 
Then I got to this classicā
TerryDactyl.:
Got caught out meself last year, had to go in a Tesco carrier bag. Didnāt bother me like but the rest of the queue at the till wasnāt happy!.
I was having me porridge at the time, I have spent 20 minutes vacuuming the zbin stuff off me laptop. I showed my missus what I was laughing at and she said ,āThat,s digusting. Gerrout in that garden, the neighbours will think your crackers howling like thatā.
HogynCymraeginSpain is spot on with his post. Keep ,em coming
I,ve just read Muttley,s one. Me edd,s hurting now
TerryDactyl.:
Got caught out meself last year, had to go in a Tesco carrier bag. Didnāt bother me like but the rest of the queue at the till wasnāt happy!.
I never thought of using a carrier bag 
I donāt have to spend 30minutes trying to squeeze it into a coke bottle now
Lol, shā¦ happens 
I was coming home from a day out with the mrs before christmas and took a little country road to miss some of the traffic, I noticed a little plastic box at the side of the road that looked farmiliarā¦
āWe used to use them boxes at workā I told the mrs ātheyāre like gold dust cos theyāre really usefulā
I spun round and went back for it (I wouldnāt normally but Iād always wanted to get my hands on one at work and never managed it). Grindstones and sanding discs it said on it 
cool I thought, too heavy to be empty - Iāve got some more stuff to put in the garageā¦
In following with this thread, Iām sure you can guess what was in it. Iām just pleased I looked before I put it in my car to thaw out 
The mrs still wonāt let me forget it 
Brilliant thread lads,im nearly crying with laughing,keep it going[excuse the pun].
regards dave.
i would rather have a crap on one of those in the comfort of the back of my lorry than the services any day
joedwyer1:
i would rather have a crap on one of those in the comfort of the back of my lorry than the services any day
Dont forget the daily sport to read
bubsy06:
I never thought of using a carrier bag
I donāt have to spend 30minutes trying to squeeze it into a coke bottle now
Did it make the coke taste any better??
wood73:
actually would be quite handy for me, I pull a tank, I could open the manlid perch that on top and happy days. would save about 3 quid a year on bags.
I used to pull curtainsiders with those big bulk bags of sand & gravel etc for B&Q, builders merchants etc
as you may know they stack the bags & double stack around 4-6 on top over the trl axils.
So if we where caught short, it wasnt unusual to climb in the back, step over the 4-6 doubled bags and scoop out a hollow in the bag below in front, then we could dump in privacy in the hollow,, use the doubled bag as a back rest. Then once wed finished just re-fill the hollow with the material we scooped out.
So remember boys & girls, when you buy any of those building materials in bulk bags, don`t dig out any of the top layer with your handsā¦ you never know what you might come across 
As for the story of my mate Nigel getting caught sort while going around emptying those glass recycling bins ā¦ well thats a story I posted ages ago, but have it somewhere, if it needs reposting 
think that needs re-posting pierreā¦
Here the tale of a guy named Nigel
Nigel use to driver a rigid truck with a HiHab arm, going around the local recycling places (supermarkets etc) emptying those domed bins. You know the ones, they hook em up, lift em in the back, hook a chain and the bottom opens up.
1 day Nigel is busy emptying some bins at a supermarket, Green glass, clear glass, brown glass etc. Anyhow a guy comes over and says that heās been watching Nigel tipping the bins, and heās a bit miffed that he and like minded citizens have gone to the trouble of separating all the different kinds of glass into separate bins, only for Nigel to mix em up again when he tips em into the back of the truck.
Nigel tried to explain that the back of the truck is split into separate compartments, and the glass doesnāt get mixed up. Heād like to let the guy climb up the ladder and look in the back buts its against Health & Safety rules. But the guy`s having none of it and is convinced itās getting mixed up and storms off in a strop after being told to ofski. After a few moments Nigel carries on, but not before for the 8 pints and the curry he had the night before to make its effect felt.
So Nigel being a man in the know figured he wouldnāt make it in time to the supermarket toilets before making a mess of himself, but he knew heād got 1 empty compartment left in the truck, and being around the side of the supermarket, he knew it would be quiet-ish.
So after grabbing the standard issue bog roll out of the cab, he managed to climb in the back of the truck and proceeded to drop his pants and relieve his problem.
After a few minutes however āMr tree huggerā comes back in a huff, still not convinced that Nigelās right. However the truck is still there, but Nigel is nowhere to be seen & start shouting ādriver, driver where are you?ā. Nigel squatting with his pants down however has heard the voice and assumes silent running mode.
Next thing Nigel knows is ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ Mr tree Hugger has climbed up the side to take a look and see if the truck does indeed have separate compartments in the back.
I donāt really know who was the most shockedā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦
Nigel seeing the guy peering over the side,
Or the guy seeing Nigel with his pants down taking a dump
If u need a dump just go in the woods and use your boxers to wipe your backside and then bury them.
Iām waiting for the dump in the back of an empty bulker story, surprised it hasnāt appeared yet. 
This is a true story, with apologies to any parties involved who may read this.
About 13 or 14 years ago I used to run down the west coast of France to Spain and a small group of us English truckers stopped at a Routiers near La Rochelle for the night. As you do, talk went onto the subject of what do you do when caught short and several tales of woe emerged. One of the lads had his wife or girlfriend with him and she announced āthat it never bothered her because she went as much as a month without a dumpā.
After a short, stunned silence, a lad from Newport (called Smasher) piped up and said " next time your going for a dump love, youād better send me a postcard". Why ? asked the woman. āSo I can make sure iām in a different countryā said Smasher. I laughed myself to sleep that night.
We had a guy who worked at our place for a few months, he was a character, wasnāt āquiteā the ticket (he fitted in well!!) and he used to do the same run every night as we all do.
Iāve done that run before, and within spitting distance of two of the drops are supermarkets which are open 24hours through the week, keep that in mind.
He was telling me and another guy that for two weeks, he would get to a drop and really badly need to go for a dump, so what he would do is get in the back of his rigid, and most of the stuff we deliver is in roller cages, heād form a cubicle type thing with roll cages so he had privacy and couldnāt be seen by anyone passing and heād then get a plastic bag and a tote box and do what he needed to do.
He had constructed a rudimentary bog roll holder to hang off a cage to āmake it feel more like a toiletā, it was essentially a coat hanger thatād had a couple of twists put in it, and had bought a can of air freshener to mask the smell that heād make. The only negative he had about his system was when he had a runny one and itād seep through the holes in his bag
Now why he didnāt go to have his ā ā ā to be taken at one of the supermarkets I donāt know as thatās where he would carry out his little routine, he did that for two weeks, then quit. God I miss him!!
Just thought Iād confess seeing as its the thing to doā¦
Running through France on way home from Italy and got the feeling we all knowā¦
Its in the departure lounge but not yet left
Saw a suitable lay-by with a gate to the field beyond.
Screeched to a halt, turned off engine, grabbed bog roll, jumped gateā¦etc etc.
Was just in the releif stage when the local SLOW moving train trundled past about 20 foot away !!
First time theyd seen a full moon in daylight for ages Iāll wager
Come on guys ā¦
You need a Bumper Dumper
I figure it would fit neatly on a scania fold down front grill
For the shy among us and maybe doube as a portable shower
Coat, hat ā¦taxi
toowise:
Just thought Iād confess seeing as its the thing to doā¦Running through France on way home from Italy and got the feeling we all knowā¦
Its in the departure lounge but not yet left
Saw a suitable lay-by with a gate to the field beyond.
Screeched to a halt, turned off engine, grabbed bog roll, jumped gateā¦etc etc.
Was just in the releif stage when the local SLOW moving train trundled past about 20 foot away !!
First time theyd seen a full moon in daylight for ages Iāll wager
PMSL