Subject: Computer Savvy
This is an excerpt from a Wall Street
Journal article:
Compaq is considering changing the command “Press Any Key” to “Press
Return
Key” because of the flood of calls asking where the “Any” key is.AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard
to
control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic
bag the
mouse was packaged in.Another Dell customer called to say he couldn’t get his computer to
fax
anything. After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician discovered
the man
was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor
screen
and hitting the “Send” key.Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no
longer
worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his bathtub with soap and water
and
soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and washing
them
individually.A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged
because his
computer had told him he was “Bad and an invalid.” The tech explained
that the
computer’s “bad command” and “invalid” responses shouldn’t be taken
personally.A confused caller to IBM was having trouble printing documents. He
told the
technician that the computer had said it “couldn’t find printer.” The
user had
also tried turning the computer screen to face the printer-but that his
computer
still couldn’t “see” the printer.An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn’t get her
new Dell
Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged in, the
technician
asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response,
“I
pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happened.” The “foot
pedal”
turned out to be the computer’s mouse…Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand new
computer
wouldn’t work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in and sat
there for
20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when
she
pressed the power switch, she asked, “What power switch?”Another IBM customer had trouble installing software and rang for
support. “I
put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to put in the second
disk, and
had some problems with the disk. When it said to put in the third disk, I
couldn’t even fit it in…” The user hadn’t realized that “Insert Disk 2”
implied removing Disk 1 first.A story from a Novell NetWare SysOp:
CALLER: “Hello, is this Tech Support?”
TECH: “Yes, it is. How may I help you?”
CALLER: “The cup holder on my PC is broken -and I am within my warranty
period.
How do I go about getting that fixed?”
TECH: “I’m sorry, but did you say a cup holder?”
CALLER: “Yes, it’s attached to the front of my computer.”
TECH: “Please excuse me. If I seem a bit stumped, it’s because I am. Did
you
receive this as part of a promotional at a trade show? How did you get
this cup
holder? Does it have any trademark on it?”CALLER: “It came with my computer. I don’t know anything about a
promotional. It
just has ‘4X’ on it.”
At this point, the Tech Rep had to mute the caller because he couldn’t
stand it.
He was laughing too hard. The caller had been using the load drawer of
the
CD-ROM drive as a cup holder and it had snapped it off the drive.
A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
The tech
asked her if she was “running it under windows.” The woman responded,
“No, my
desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The man sitting in
the
cubicle next to me is under a window and his printer is working fine.”And last but not least:
TECH SUPPORT: “O.K. Bob, let’s press the control and escape keys at the
same
time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type
the
letter “P” to bring up the Program Manager.”CUSTOMER: “I don’t have a ‘P’”.
TECH SUPPORT: “On your keyboard, Bob.”
CUSTOMER: “What do you mean?”
TECH SUPPORT: " ‘P’ on your keyboard, Bob."
CUSTOMER: “I’m not going to do that!”
Unbelievable 
, maybe not! still hilarious, thanks. 