Picture this 
One of our drivers breaks down on the exit ramp 1 mile away from Ben & Jerry’s in Waterbury VT, he was just a truck length from the stop lines, it was two lanes and he was in the right lane intending to turn right when his truck pooped the bed and he was stuck there. Being a decent sort he put warning triangles on the lane behind the truck and had his hazard warning lights on. I dropped my empty trailer and went down to get the trailer, this involved reversing a little way down the ramp, pulling his truck out from under the trailer then pull the trailer to B&J. As I reversed down I couldn’t believe the dopes that pulled between the trucks stopping me moving even with my hazards and reversing lights on. When I eventually got his truck out and reversed down again some idiots actually pulled between the dropped trailer and my truck again ignoring my movements, when I hooked up I looked to the rear and saw some of the idiots had actually moved to the right and driven round the triangles then sat behind the trailer waiting to turn right 
A state trooper soon arrived, stopped the traffic and guided the few twonks out of the traingled area, then looked at me a burst out laughing
You do have to wonder at what goes through the brains of some drivers. Last time i put a triangle out it was splatted in less than two minutes!
Funny as ‘F’ lol.
The joys of living amongst all those Yankee Doodle Dandys.
We’ve got our fair share of Silly Billy’s too-
I broke down just as I pulled onto a roundabout once, in an F10, propshaft let go (regular occurrence, we were doing waste transfer to Newton Longville Landfill & the drive train used to get a lot of stick in the mud)
One of our 'newer ’ drivers/Carl came to rescue me, we chained up the tractors, dropped the legs, pulled the pin & he ‘reversed’ towards me to “get a bit of slack” in the chain ■■? (Alarm bells going off in my head !)
Full throttle, dumped the clutch & shot off like a Red Bull on the starting grid !
I just sat there, amazed, thinking “he’s gonna pull the cab off the chassis”
Air Horns & lots of waving, finally he got the message. I tried to explain that he needed to take up the slack then just let the clutch out gently in 1st gear (whilst my heart beat slowed down) He thought that, because it was heavy, he would need all his power !
Luckily he didn’t pull the front of the motor off.
A place I worked at years ago had an old forklift with no battery so it need a tow start, the guvnor was sat on it as a driver towed it with a chain. The chain was quite long and the unit was doing about 10mph when the chain went taut, the forklift took off like it had been fired out of a cannon 
It all ended in tears and blue flashing lights as the forklift ended up on its side on top of the guvnor. We got the forklift from next door to get our one off him so the ambulance could cart him off to casualty, luckily without any serious damage.
martinviking:
Funny as ‘F’ lol.
The joys of living amongst all those Yankee Doodle Dandys.We’ve got our fair share of Silly Billy’s too-
I broke down just as I pulled onto a roundabout once, in an F10, propshaft let go (regular occurrence, we were doing waste transfer to Newton Longville Landfill & the drive train used to get a lot of stick in the mud)
One of our 'newer ’ drivers/Carl came to rescue me, we chained up the tractors, dropped the legs, pulled the pin & he ‘reversed’ towards me to “get a bit of slack” in the chain ■■? (Alarm bells going off in my head !)
Full throttle, dumped the clutch & shot off like a Red Bull on the starting grid !
I just sat there, amazed, thinking “he’s gonna pull the cab off the chassis”
Air Horns & lots of waving, finally he got the message. I tried to explain that he needed to take up the slack then just let the clutch out gently in 1st gear (whilst my heart beat slowed down) He thought that, because it was heavy, he would need all his power !
Luckily he didn’t pull the front of the motor off.
You have to hammer it into some of them
newmercman:
A place I worked at years ago had an old forklift with no battery so it need a tow start, the guvnor was sat on it as a driver towed it with a chain. The chain was quite long and the unit was doing about 10mph when the chain went taut, the forklift took off like it had been fired out of a cannonIt all ended in tears and blue flashing lights as the forklift ended up on its side on top of the guvnor. We got the forklift from next door to get our one off him so the ambulance could cart him off to casualty, luckily without any serious damage.
He was lucky Mark, at Swifts years ago a kid was driving a fork lift with the mast at the top (silly sod), he turned and it tipped, he crushed his legs, never saw him again.
i was winching off a knacked tractor unit from my trailer, had the 20’ skids out the back , now where i live is near the train station , and the inevitable happened, some donkey tried to park on the end of my skids. i politely explained that the lorry slowly coming towards them wasn’t going to be stopping.So young , so pretty , such foul language. but thats a london commuter for you.
Delivering to Tesco in the middle of Stamford one Saturday afternoon, they don’t have aloading dock and unloading involved pulling into a small layby type area outside the shop and using a tail lift for a young kid to drag the cages off, pulling the 4th or 5th set of 3 cages onto the tail lift I noticed some local twonk park his decrepid old Sustin Maxi behind me with the bonnet under the tail lift so i couldn’t lower it FFS
When I was up in Newcastle (NSW) I was on B doubles. We usually started 1 AM Monday but I had an appointment so I went the the doc early on a Monday morning and didn’t get to the yard until about half 9. The boss called me over and told me I was just the bloke he was looking for as a wanabe had turned up and needed an assessment. Take him out for half an hour I was told, and see what he’s like. The bloke was in his mid 40’s looked and acted bright enough. I wasn’t to happy about it because I needed to get going as I had 50 tons of coke on for Brisbane and wanted to get it of that night, and I didn’t like other blokes driving my truck either.
The first warning bell was,"it’s a lot higher up than I thought ( Volvo FH ) and the cab’s really wide " I assumed the guy had been driving long nose Freight liner or something similar. What gear do I start in, there’s a lot of them as well, and proceeds to grind the corners of every one until he gets into top, then just to be sure he does the same on the way back down as well.
We got going and I thought he was bit close to the edge, but I always think that when I’m in the passenger side, however he managed to hit the kerb a few times as well, which I wasn’t happy about. We were going along the urban free way, and I had enough of it after about 10 minutes so I told him to turn right at the next round about, which is exactly what he did. He got onto the round about and wheeled it right and went round it the wrong way. I started shouting at him, he panics and the next thing he stops, opens the door and jumps out.
Luckily there’s not much traffic about and I get into the driving seat and start reversing, when the next car down the road just happens to be the highway patrol. Explain, explain, their not believing me, and there not going to let me finish the maneuver either. Eventually the T/M turns up and explains to the cops, but I get a point on my licence just because they can. I also got a bollocking from Coles in Brisbane for being late.
When I got back at the end of the week the guys been hired ■■?
Jeff