Your kids grow up all to soon,you dont NEED all of the consumer crap,so stop buying it.
The Op in their first sentence claim their have a home and two cars?
Are there any benefits being claimed here?
Eg housing, mobility etc?
chester:
The Op in their first sentence claim their have a home and two cars?Are there any benefits being claimed here?
Eg housing, mobility etc?
From what he said no but does it matter
Maybe stop being so materialistic
A few years ago thing went wrong for me I had to cut back on a lot yep I have a car ( nearly always have ) but I dont have a tv or internet at home pay as you go mobile pay as you go phone ( yep have a decent 1 but it is my son old 1he has just recently changed jobs from the mobile phone sector ) so if run out & have no money to put on then it gets left till I do
Dont have any waste on food be careful what I buy plan meals carefully but then I do cook most thing from scratch not had a holiday for several years due to lack of funds I would have given some thing up for 1 mind
But we all have different priorities in life sorry but you cant have everything some thing have to wait a bit longer you dont have to be materialistic look at what you dont really need then go from there as they used to say cut your cloth to suit your ■■■■■
animal:
From what he said no but does it matter
I know a lot of folk who have a home but don’t pay for it!
I know folks who have cars but don’t pay for them either.
Of course it matters in relation to any advice this forum can give.
I think my previous post I didn’t give advise more a statement of how it was for me, I was lucky in that when I started in transport most good employers would let you take your wife, girlfriend even family with you on a run or trip up the road or even abroad, which is what happened when I first met my late wife, when we were first courting ( god there’s on old saying ) she had a good job of her own but used to do two weeks away with me followed by two weeks working at her job, after two or three years when we eventually got married and a family came along and she had to be at home she already new what my line of work would entail for her, long lonely nights with no one there, which I think was of an enormous help, but also understanding it was the same for me, there are very few companies that allow that nowadays which is a unintelligent shame, as I and a good many other drivers got a taste for the life by going out with our dads in their lorries, how are companies thinking of enticing young blood into the game without that kind of encouragement?
Oop’s sorry I think I’ve done it again a statement of fact not advise.
Advise for a happy and steady family life………the best I could give would be stay away from transport.
Ossie
chester:
animal:
From what he said no but does it matterI know a lot of folk who have a home but don’t pay for it!
I know folks who have cars but don’t pay for them either.
Of course it matters in relation to any advice this forum can give.
They both work both like spending money ( but then they are young 23 so yep I did at that age but then I didnt have a house or child was older )
Not easy to balance btw I did try but didnt do very well at it but then both my kids have turned out ok
Cut back on some of the non essentials have that holiday you both need it ( I have not had a holiday in a about 8 years but it is on my list of thing to do which is getting shorter sort of add thing to bottom )
I am still trying to find a work life balance & I am a lot older than you but getting there the difference is I am on my own so have all the bill to pay & a young granddaughter with another due soon my daughter partner works in transport but she knew what it was like due to me & her ( for a short time ) working in the industry which does help as Ossie said his late wife knew what it was like
My Mrs is the same, but she never complains about the bank balance
When my kids were little he worked full time as a nurse ( mental ) I worked part time we had 1 car as cuoldnt afford to run 2 that was back in the mid 80’s we had to cut back on some things so we have all had to do it at times
But it can get better no you dont want to see them without but it wont do any of you any harm cutting back & doing with out & working hard for it
A recurring theme to almost every reply here is money, it is nowhere near the most important thing you can give to your wife and kids, your time, integrity, honesty, loyalty and a bunch of other stuff ending in ‘ty’ are all far more important.
However you don’t realise this until you get older and then you only realise it through hindsight and wishing you could turn back the clock and do it all over again.
One thing that worked for me has been to go away properly, instead of doing a day job where you’re out for maximum hours to earn as much as possible, getting home tired every night and trying to live a normal life, doing odd jobs around the house and being irritable because of that on top of grafting all day.
Instead I go away for a week or more and have decent time at home, time enough so I can relax and get into the home life groove.
When my kids were little I used to work four weeks away with a week at home, now that’s quite extreme and quite a lot happens in a month, but then I would have a complete week off, so we used to go to Butlins or similar for a week and have proper family time together.
I still do it the same way now, for this current trip I left on Saturday, got home the following Saturday evening and left again Sunday evening, I plan to be home this Friday and I will take three days off then. This will allow us to spend some quality time and actually do something together.
So what I’m saying is don’t try and balance work and home life, do one or the other and you can reap the rewards from both.
Wow first of all thank you all for the replies the amount is unbelievable I’ve sorted it for now just so you all know I’ve dropped the Friday but kept the Sunday so I now work sun to thu that’s it and the Mrs seems happy with that for now so thanks for all the advice guys much appreciated