How many hours a week are you working?
1st, you’re on a decent hourly rate for Class 2, I’m on less than that for ADR Class 1 tanker driving.
2nd, if you can’t afford to live on Mon - Fri, 10 - 12hrs per day at that rate, then you’re blasting money somewhere? Maybe you’ve got a big mortage, I’ve no idea, but more likely just blasting money and then using that as an excuse to work more hours.
If you want to spend more time with the missus and child, you’ll have to cut back, it’s simple. I’ve done it (no kids) and I can happily live on 50hrs or less per week if the bloody job will let me, I’m normally 60 or so hours mon - fri, but that’s the job not my requirements.
Also, as theringmonster jokingly said, your missus is being a selfish ■■■■■ and needs a slap or a reality check.
You’ve got 2 cars (no idea why if she doesn’t work) and yet she’s fed up, she can go out anytime she wants and yet she’s whinging, she could even have a drive out to meet you for lunch but wants to spend more time with you??
Honestly mate, why the hell you’re whinging on here I’ve no idea, but at 23yrs old, you’ve not been in the game long, probably not in the relationship that long and a 2yr old child, so this is just the beginning, needs nipping in the bud sharpish pal.
I don’t know where you live or what your circumstances are, but I know that PHS on the paper shredding and a few others usually do 4 on 3 off with 1 day off through the week and every weekend off, and they’re usually based on 10hr shifts (subject to ■■■■ going wrong obviously) and pay roughly the same hourly rate as you’re on, poss higher…
Also, bread delivery and Greggs and things pay a decent salary and usually early starts / early finishes but will include weekends etc…
Personally, I’d lose one of the cars and try to find a 4 on 4 off shift pattern, and then look at one or two other areas. For example, do you smoke? If so, had you thought of quitting? That’s a real money saver. How much juice will the remaining car drink? Would it be worth downsizing that?
At the end of the day all the life adjustments (downsizing car, giving up smoking, etc etc) become the norm after a short while, and you realise you’re not any unhappier as a result. Quite the contrary.
Do a budget, cut your spending and cut your hours 
Does your partner NEED a car? It’s a good why to see just how much she misses you, tell her you can spend an extra hour a day at home if she sells her motor 
she can’t have both
I blame all that bra burning making women thinking they are more than just baby machines/sandwich makers
Tell her to find someone who’s happy to live their life on benefits so they can sit holding hands on the settee while watching Jeremy Kyle all day
I’d bin the weekends ,just work mon to fri/ sat ,if that doesn’t work I’d think about getting rid of the mrs ,there’s a lad used to work for us he had similar problems he changed jobs a few times ,he’s now on the sick so is she they have 2 kids ,there’s nothing wrong with either of them ,his wife is dead happy now they’ve never had it so good ,he was taking £650 a week home with us ,now indirectly I guess we are paying him more !
samstone90:
Hi guys a bit of insight for you I’m 23 got a house, 2 cars one for me and one for the Mrs and a 2 year old daughter I’ve been driving HGV for 2 years now and love my job I do no nights out and earn good money take home about £450+ a week but have to put the hours in I’m at work at the minute and I’ve just had the Mrs on the phone in tears telling me that she misses me being at home and that she never gets to see me anymore, all I want to do is give her and my daughter a good life by having money in the bank so we don’t have to worry about financial things but I didn’t realise how much it’s effecting her and the last thing I want to do is lose her and my daughter over work… so any advice on how you guys balance your work and home life to keep everyone happy would be much appreciated Thanks
Tell her you can be at home more by cutting your hours,BUT it will mean a pay cut,and she will have to cut back on things like her car and the little luxuries and put less away in the bank.instead of having things as and when she wants.
Hate to say it fella, but you picked the wrong profession if you want loads of time at home.
I’ve spent years working away for weeks at a time around Europe and loved it, but when I broke my back and was laid up at home for 18 months I realised I was missing my family grow up. I gave up weeks away and went Monday to Friday UK tramping for 3 years, got fed up of that.
Went on for Gist working 5 on 3 off and home everyday, but I was starting early and finishing late to earn a good wedge AND I was working weekends I was spending even less time with my family.
Now I have landed on probably the best job I’ve ever had(thanks to bald bloke of TNUK for posting it) and now my hours of work are 8am-5pm Monday to Friday for a very large wage. Ok so summers are busy with various shows and stuff so nihhts out are involved. Again the company I work for pay maximum night out allowance and I get evening meal and breakfast paid for on top. So I ■■■■ the nights out up. I don’t want to do them but I know come September work drops off and I am working 40 hours a week amd home everyday.
The other added bonus is I can take my missus to the shows with me.
Haha there’s some fantastic posts and advice there thank you all some made me laugh out loud to be fair to her she does work 2/3 days a week part time but she makes enough cash to buy a loaf of bread every week lol :-/ and [ZB] does she moan about those 2 / 3 days… I do about 50 / 60 hours a week sometimes a little more so I think I do need to cut back a bit to be honest and I do think she needs a good slap (not literally of course) I think the main problem is we both like spending the money and I do like to see her with a car because when I’m not there she can take the little one places so there not bored I just want them to be happy that’s all I care about… I was bought up to believe if you want things you have to work hard for them and it’s something I strongly believe in … its obviously something a lot of you have been through as I can see the passion in your posts so I’m glad I’m not alown on this one… I’m going to sit down and ask her tonight exactly what she wants me to do but explain to her that we carnt have everything it’s been 5 years since I last had a holiday and 8 years since I last went aboard so I guess that’s out the windows a little longer 
Have you looked at skip/tippers i work in this sector and in our area its pretty much 6-30/4-30 monday to friday and alternate saturday mornings.
Work isnt for everyone but this along with builders merchant work is pretty much the only driving jobs with pretty much set hours.
Sometimes you work for things you think you need but don’t really, such as best phone or tv you both need to decide if it’s better to give them up before you give up on each other.
mac12:
Sometimes you work for things you think you need but don’t really, such as best phone or tv you both need to decide if it’s better to give them up before you give up on each other.
That’s well put mate and very true
kr79:
Have you looked at skip/tippers i work in this sector and in our area its pretty much 6-30/4-30 monday to friday and alternate saturday mornings.
Work isnt for everyone but this along with builders merchant work is pretty much the only driving jobs with pretty much set hours.
I’m a ro-ro driver mate so yh I’m in this sector lol I collect metal from large car and forging manufacturers and it’s just stupidly busy we just ent got enough drivers or motors
Main reason why I used to get so ■■■■■■■ annoyed when I couldn’t get home on a Friday after being out all week.
Not much to ask is it?
mac12:
Sometimes you work for things you think you need but don’t really, such as best phone or tv you both need to decide if it’s better to give them up before you give up on each other.
Now, now, let’s not be hasty here!!!
I’d give up the wife before my phone and Sky Sports 
I’m in the same situation with my family except I work nights was ok for a year now things have changed you have my sympathy
Not a nice situation to be in when your family is unsettled
I emailed my TM explained my situation hoping can move to days don’t know if your TM would accomadate a move of your shifts wouldn’t hurt to ask good luck
NewLad:
Oh and drop the Sundays mate, sod double bubble, Sunday is one day that should definitely be about spending time with your family, if you can’t afford to drop it totally then do every other Sunday.
^This. I did Weds-Sun shifts for two years and was deluded by the money rolling into my account for a while, but in the end ended up asking myself “What am I doing?”. No job is worth sacrificing so much quality time with family & friends, the pay cut is totally worth it if you enjoy the job.
Lots of good advice here: Just a thought about cutting back - maybe it’s your car that should go. Get a bike, or she could get up early and take you to work:)
Juddian:
The eternal problem this mate in our job.The thing is, the problem isn’t just yours its for both of you to discuss sensibly, presumably your wife isn’t objecting to the security of a roof over your heads, a car of her own to drive round in and money to spend? no thought not.
Well, that comes at a price, and if you are the sole or main breadwinner then IMHO you are doing your duty and providing for them as best you can, you can’t do that on a basic 35 hour week unless you are extremely lucky and fine a niche job…took me 35 years before i found a job that pays as well as most 75 hours jobs but i do about 42 hours instead…these jobs are rare indeed, for many years i had to do 2 weeks work every bloody week to make good money, just like most working class blokes.
Wouldn’t life be great if we could all get cushy numbers in the civil service/local government/quango/ejukashun etc, work (attend) about 30 convenient hours a week if that, take several weeks annually off on the full pay sick with stress etc, and get paid more than you are getting for grafting your bollox off.
Well life aint like that, and for the average young working bloke you’re doing pretty well so pat yourself on the back for having your head screwed on right, a lot of blokes are away all week then spend their weekends in the boozer with their mates and then wonder why she buggers off with someone else.
On the other side of the coin wouldn’t it be nice if some wives…not suggesting your Mrs thinks or acts like this Samstone…realised that they aint WAGS living in lala land, they aint the current muse of some overpaid bloody premiership footballer, they’re working class women married to a working class geezer doing his bloody best to do the right thing as he sees fit.
It’d be nice if they welcomed their husband home now and again, made him feel special wanted loved appreciated
Life’s a two way street.
About the only thing you can do is cut your hours, or you could as suggested above take a poorly paid job and let the taxpayer (blokes like you and me) subsidise the low pay with various benefits, but somehow i reckon that isn’t you…so my advice would be, find a possibly supermarket driving type job that pays shifts well that suit you, chances are you won’t get the right shift pattern straight away and may have to be prepared to do the nasty shifts to get your feet under the table and transfer onto better in due course.
Oh and sling the telly out the window when you get home, that way she won’t be watching crap mainsteam propaganda broadcasts portraying the WAG lifestyle as within grasp
…thats tongue in cheek by the way, no offence meant…but i find modern telly broadcasting a bit like mediocre working class skoolkids learning from those who should know better that the world is their oyster and a degree the easy-no-actual-work necessary path to the Croydon money trees.
**By the way those lads who find themselves alone but want someone warm hearted, forget cold materialistic western women, go Latin and enjoy the love of a good woman.
Very well put…
newmercman:
Juddian:
The eternal problem this mate in our job.The thing is, the problem isn’t just yours its for both of you to discuss sensibly, presumably your wife isn’t objecting to the security of a roof over your heads, a car of her own to drive round in and money to spend? no thought not.
Well, that comes at a price, and if you are the sole or main breadwinner then IMHO you are doing your duty and providing for them as best you can, you can’t do that on a basic 35 hour week unless you are extremely lucky and fine a niche job…took me 35 years before i found a job that pays as well as most 75 hours jobs but i do about 42 hours instead…these jobs are rare indeed, for many years i had to do 2 weeks work every bloody week to make good money, just like most working class blokes.
Wouldn’t life be great if we could all get cushy numbers in the civil service/local government/quango/ejukashun etc, work (attend) about 30 convenient hours a week if that, take several weeks annually off on the full pay sick with stress etc, and get paid more than you are getting for grafting your bollox off.
Well life aint like that, and for the average young working bloke you’re doing pretty well so pat yourself on the back for having your head screwed on right, a lot of blokes are away all week then spend their weekends in the boozer with their mates and then wonder why she buggers off with someone else.
On the other side of the coin wouldn’t it be nice if some wives…not suggesting your Mrs thinks or acts like this Samstone…realised that they aint WAGS living in lala land, they aint the current muse of some overpaid bloody premiership footballer, they’re working class women married to a working class geezer doing his bloody best to do the right thing as he sees fit.
It’d be nice if they welcomed their husband home now and again, made him feel special wanted loved appreciated
Life’s a two way street.
About the only thing you can do is cut your hours, or you could as suggested above take a poorly paid job and let the taxpayer (blokes like you and me) subsidise the low pay with various benefits, but somehow i reckon that isn’t you…so my advice would be, find a possibly supermarket driving type job that pays shifts well that suit you, chances are you won’t get the right shift pattern straight away and may have to be prepared to do the nasty shifts to get your feet under the table and transfer onto better in due course.
Oh and sling the telly out the window when you get home, that way she won’t be watching crap mainsteam propaganda broadcasts portraying the WAG lifestyle as within grasp
**By the way those lads who find themselves alone but want someone warm hearted, forget cold materialistic western women, go Latin and enjoy the love of a good woman.
Very well put…
It’s very true that a lot of young people want all the nice things but aren’t prepared to put in the graft to pay for it, as I say to my missus, “you wanna keep buying handbags that cost £200-400 every couple of months then this is how it is”.
NewLad:
Oh and drop the Sundays mate, sod double bubble, Sunday is one day that should definitely be about spending time with your family.
+1