Asylum seekers never a truer word please read

Hello and welcome to a brand new edition of ‘ASYLUM’.
Today’s program features another chance to
take part in our exciting competition:
HIJACK AN AIRLINER
and win
A COUNCIL HOUSE!
We’ve already given away hundreds of millions of pounds and
thousands of dream homes, courtesy of our sponsor,
The British Taxpayer.
And don’t forget, we’re now the fastest growing game on the planet.

Anyone can play, provided they don’t already hold a valid British Passport,
and you only need one word of English:
‘ASYLUM’
Prizes include all-expenses-paid accommodation, cash benefits starting at £180
a week and a chance to earn thousands more begging, mugging and
accosting drivers at traffic lights.
This competition is open to everyone buying a ticket or stowing away on
one of our partner airlines, ferry companies or Eurostar.

No application ever refused - reasonable or unreasonable.
All you have to do is destroy all your papers and remember the magic password:
‘ASYLUM’
A few years ago, 140 members of the Taliban family from Afghanistan were flown
Goat Class from Kabul to our international gateway at Stansted where local
law enforcement officers were on hand to fast-track them to their luxury
200-a-night rooms in the fabulous four star Hilton Hote
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They joined tens of thousands of other lucky winners already
staying in hotels all over Britain .
Our most popular destinations also include the White Cliffs of Dover
and the world famous Toddington Services area, in Historic Bedfordshire.

If you still don’t understand the rules, don’t forget, there’s no
need to phone a friend or ask the audience
Just apply for legal aid.
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It won’t cost you a penny.
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So play today.

Iraqi terrorists, Afghan dissidents, Albanian gangsters, pro-Pinochet
activists, anti-Pinochet activists, Kosovan drug-smugglers, Tamil tigers,
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COME ON DOWN!

Get along to the airport!
Get along to the lorry park!
Get along to the ferry terminal!
Don’t stop in Germany or France !
Go straight to Britain
And you are GUARANTEED to be one of tens of thousands of
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Everyone’s a winner, when they play
‘ASYLUM’
FORWARD THIS TO EVERY BRITISH TAXPAYER YOU KNOW!

2 Likes

:confused: :unamused:

It is true though Rog, this is showing how this country is going to the dogs mate and it is posted on the forums where it gets the most hits
Im scottish and want to be voted in as the next prime minister and put a stop to theses free loaders
LOL

1 Like

Hi Big sidney

What great writing did you make it up or did you copy from someone else I will endever to pass this on its so true well done

Roger Haywood

Hi no this was sent to me via Email, I dont know who the author was originally but it is meant as a joke but as said VERY TRUE INDEED

Well done Sid
Why would we want British citizens to win our money when the rest of the world can.

Big Sidney…It is stories like this that encouraged me to settle in South Africa….Rather than return to what has sadly become the dumping ground of the world at the true Brits Expense……what a sad state of affairs… :cry:

I had a mate who decided to start a new life in South Africa a few years ago, it lasted three months a South African shot him because he took his job :open_mouth:

altitude:
I had a mate who decided to start a new life in South Africa a few years ago, it lasted three months a South African shot him because he took his job :open_mouth:

Just goes to show, too much work can be bad for your health :confused:

Reddesertfox:

altitude:
I had a mate who decided to start a new life in South Africa a few years ago, it lasted three months a South African shot him because he took his job :open_mouth:

Just goes to show, too much work can be bad for your health :confused:

Your right there mate, his took a turn for the worse. :laughing: :laughing:

bigsidney:
Hi no this was sent to me via Email, I dont know who the author was originally but it is meant as a joke but as said VERY TRUE INDEED

Hi bigsidney

The game show you are describing is from richard littlejohns book TO HELL IN A HANDCART and it is a book well worth a read as it shows excactly the state of britain today but like his newspaper column it it is intented to be funny but serious at the same time. :smiley:

Thank you for that Colin much appreciated

So there we have it, it’s clearly the answer to all our woe‘s, stop and or deport the asylum seekers and we can change the name of this country from Britain to Utopia,
But then that’s always the way with smoke screens they do tend to cloud our vision so we don’t see where the real problem lays,
Do you remember a thing called manufacturing?
In the early fifties this country produced 52% of the worlds ships, we used to manufacture and export steel and even cars, even coal, as time went by whilst the rest of the industrial world protected it’s heavy industries we decided not to, after all why subsidise when it’s clearly better to make our own people unemployed and import what we need, besides as tax payers we needed every penny we could get to continue to pay the mortgage on our house which we had bought on the cheap from the council, and with that shackle on our ankle who dare strike for more or even protest? I guess we reap what we sow, but i still prefer to blame others because it can’t be the fault of successive government’s after all who put them in power? Oops it was US, KEEP ON TRUCKING them imports,

As Stampy say’s we used to have a manufacturing based economy but now successive governments since the fifties have turned us into a financial and service culture which granted put us near the top of the tree in that market with all the trappings of wealth which a lot of people in the uk have benifited from but we 've all seen what happens when that tree blows over in the wind. But because of this illusion that Britain is paved with gold is the very reason that immigrants mostly east europeans try their hardest to enter the uk. Probably the worst decision made in the last 40 years (apart from following Bush into Iraq) was to join the Common Market, certainly for us truckers one of the few benefits was to use T forms instead of Carnet Tirs. Switzerland seems to manage quite nicely in the middle of Europe without feeling the need to join and although I have’nt been there for quite a few years it’s probably still as difficult to sneak into the country as it was for Steve McQueen.
Chazzer

I am old enough to have worked in factories at the end of manufacturing in the U.K. My abiding memory is very old machine tools and general disorder,most of the trouble was down to management and short sightedness.

Thought you might like this poem on a similar line, written when the government decided to scrap the Brittania from the coins with little to no consultation! :frowning:

Rule out Britannia. (Or just an old Englishman’s view)

Yes, why not, lets get rid of Britannia, well we’re not very great anymore,
Gone are the days when we ruled the waves and banished the foes from the shore,

History shows in the past we could take on the world, our brave men laid down their lives in the wars,
But for some reason then with the stroke of a pen, politicians just opened the doors,

Now I’m not saying that’s definitely a bad thing, or that the things we did in the past were all right,
But with this turning of tide, and the loss of our pride, well I can’t say the future looks bright,

Imagine the embryo of this wonderful dream, a united Europe, living forever in bliss,
Forget fighting the cause, or who started the wars, all now embraced in a double cheeked kiss,

No more border controls or customs checkpoints, frontier queues would be a thing of the past,
And I have to admit it seemed good for a bit, but I feared maybe too good to last,

At first they called it the Common Market, for easier export of our goods, so they said,
'course what they’d forgot, by then we didn’t make a lot, but we were swamped with cheap imports instead,

Now, they told us, we’d get more for our money, but our manufacturing declined near to an end,
So with the loss of the trade, job redundancies were made, and many found they’d no money to spend,

Then the goalposts were moved and the EEC was born, you could travel throughout Europe with ease,
But now we’ve been overrun, without firing a gun, and it seems they can do as they please,

Once we’d buy the best from the world over, better they said to buy from the countries next door,
So now we eat tinned Euro ham, instead of New Zealand lamb, but I don’t know who that’s better for,

Well as more countries rushed to join the big gravy train, and with more power the name changed to E.U.
As they signed up each new Euro state, at a staggering rate, like an uncontrolled cancer it grew,

Now they make up the rules in Belgium or France, to which members are supposed to adhere,
But it seems a lost cause, when they override our laws, that have served well for so many a year,

So our hauliers are told to compete with the rest, but with our taxes and laws still have to comply,
While over on cheap fuel they come , and they run and they run, 'cos to them British laws don’t apply,

They tell our farmers what, and how much to grow, who struggle on as if one hand were tied,
But now they have time to stand and look over there land, 'cos most of it’s been tagged “set a side”,

And our fishermen are told how much fish they can catch, they tell them in the harbor to stay,
Saying "tie up your boats, 'cos you’ve caught all your quot’s”, as they sit and watch their jobs slip away,

Our authorities enforce the law to the letter, 'cos we’re British and we play by the rules,
While those over there, do as they like they don’t care, and they laugh at us, thinking we’re fools,

So our fishermen stand by the quayside, our transport and farmers ■■■■■■■ in red tape,
And some see their lives, well, criminalised, by the rules the men in Brussels dictate

So come on some brave elder statesman, be a voice for what so many of us feel,
Someone with some clout, must stand up and shout, we’re in on our terms or no deal,

Can’t you see, we should think British before Europe, and make a stand before it’s too late,
Or I’m sure there’ll come a day, when all we can say, is we’re Britain a European ‘hell of a state’.
(Copyright.)

It must be all true I read it in the Sun/Mail/Express and the other right fascist brainwashing (news?) papers.

Had as good laugh at top first post

Also lastest news i read somewhere that a flight cost is going to cost 11000 per person to charter a plane

https://www.reuters.com/world/uk/uks-rwanda-plan-asylum-seekers-could-cost-more-than-600-mln-pounds-2024-03-01/

According to government figures 95% of asylum seekers stay. Whilst 76% are granted, by the time appeals are run through, otber factors kick in and its decided that a new life has been made here.

I cant see that there is a lot of inaccuracy