It has been bit of a strange week but I thought I would do a diary anyway. Last Wednesday was my rest day and although I was booked to do some work, starting at 09:00 on Thursday this had to be cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances. Following a ‘confrontation’, I was arrested on Wednesday night and spent the night sleeping on a crappy bunk in a confined space, so not much change there then. 
I was not released until 13:00 on Thursday, so my new workweek begins on Friday.
Friday 21st July
The agency has booked me an assessment at NFT/Sainsbury’s in London Colney and I report there at 13:30 as requested. I sign in, park the car and head for the transport office where I meet the assessor, a nice guy called John. The first part of the assessment involves answering sixty questions on the Highway Code, Tacho Regulations, road signs, and vehicle and load safety. He gave me half an hour to complete the test. They were all multiple-choice questions and I ended up with three wrong. We also had a discussion about two of the tacho questions were the correct answer was not one of the available options. 
Next, it was time to hit the road after completing a vehicle and trailer check sheet to John’s satisfaction. The vehicle was a Y registration Volvo FM. We took a little tour out to Watford and then made our way back to London Colney via the M25. The least said about the drive the better, frankly, I was embarrassed by it but then I hate doing tests of that sort. There was one scary moment as I took the St Albans exit of the M25. A Belgian registered car had taken the slip road ahead of me, got half way up it, turned and headed back down just as I got to the exit. The car turned left across the hatch markings and rejoined the motorway; it was a brown trouser moment to say the least. Back in the yard, John got me to reverse onto a loading bay a couple of times then said I had passed with one minor, I think he was being generous. 
We had a coffee break and then the next two and a half hours were spent going through the various paperwork and procedures before we stopped for the day. I am paid the eight-hour minimum for the day so it was not all bad.
Saturday 22nd July
Time to put everything I learned yesterday into practice with an 11:00 start in London Colney.
I report to the transport office and receive my vehicle check sheet, but no keys. When I ask about the keys, she tells me the keys will be in it because it is a rigid. “It’s a what?” OK, I haven’t driven one for about 18 years but it’s only like a bigger unit, should be fun. My chariot turns out to be a well-used X reg, 3 axle, Volvo FM. I complete the checks and return the sheet to the office, where I collect the paperwork for the job, 13:00 delivery at the Putney store.
Among the mountain of paperwork I received yesterday was a book with routes to all the stores, all of which are LBTS compliant where necessary, so finding the store should be no problem. It was a straightforward route, M1 to the end, North Circular westbound then onto the South Circular as far as Putney. Across Putney High Street then the next left, followed by the second left and the store comes up on the left. I have to reverse in from the street and I really have to get my brain thinking “non artic” to complete the manoeuvre. I can reverse a unit without even thinking about it but I think looking in the mirrors and seeing the box body sort threw me and a couple of times I started to turn the wheel the wrong way.
Once on the ramp the store guy started to unload the 12 pallets, except they don’t call them pallets they call them boards. They look like pallets, they are blue and they say Chep on them, but they are boards. 
I have also discovered that cages are not cages, they are rollers. The difference between delivering to a Sainsbury’s store rather than an Asda is the driver does not touch the load. The store guy does it all, scanning each board or roller into a handheld computer, and when the totals agree the driver enters a one time, four-figure pin to complete the process.
I head back to the depot empty using the same route, and it takes me two hours to travel from Chiswick Roundabout to Hanger lane, gotta love that at Saturday rate.
Back at the depot, I take my break then swap the rigid for a 54 plate Mercedes Axtor unit and a trailer loaded with two drops, St Albans and Apsley Mill, which I discover is on the outskirts of Hemel Hempstead. I am not given the check sheet and paperwork for this run until 18:00, which is the time for the St Albans delivery and as we get a one-hour window either side of the booked time, I will have to be there before 19:00. Not a problem as it is only about ten-minutes to the store from the depot but the booked time for Apsley Mill is 18:30 which means I have to go to St Albans, tip and get to Apsley Mill by 19:30.
I get to the first store at 18:25 and back onto the ramp. The unloader has to use a scissors lift to take one pallet, sorry board, off at a time and it is just after 19:00 before I am ready to leave. The route book tells me to take the M25 to the A41 junction and take the A41 north before leaving it at the Hemel exit. Turn right then right at the first lights, follow that road and the store will appear on the left. The book is correct and at 19:27, I am ringing the bell on the yard gate, which means I made it by the skin of my teeth.
I spend half an hour watching the rest of the load come off the trailer then head back to the depot. They have nothing else for me and I book off at 20:45.
Sunday 23rd July
Back into London Colney for a 10:30 start today and my vehicle today is a 05 plate Mercedes Actros with the auto version of their gearbox, no clutch peddle. My run today is to the store in Merton and after checking the unit and trailer, I get underway at about 11:15 for a 13:30 delivery. The route I have to follow due to the LBTS restriction takes me round the M25 to the Reigate exit then the A297 in toward London and onto the A24 and eventually the store comes up on the left. I get there at 13:15 and back onto one of the two loading bays. I am there for two hours in total because after they have unloaded the trailer they reload it with empty boards and some boards with produce trays on them to go back to the depot. I took my break here while they did the unloading and loading.
I get back to the depot at 17:30 and they ask me to do a quick St Albans, which doesn’t take long, and I am back at the depot once again by 19:30. Sadly they do not have anything else so I diesel up the unit and book off at 20:00.
Monday 24th July
10:00 start at DHL Hatfield today. On previous occasions when I have done DHL work, it has been for the European side but this is for the other side in Hatfield, Express of Freight it’s called I think. Different running sheets to fill in but other than that it is pretty much the same. My ride today is a 02 plate Scania and the first job is to take an empty trailer to Grays for a 12:00 collection. After that, I will return to Hatfield, swap the trailer for another empty one and go to Woolwich for a 17:00 collection.
Along with the run sheet and the customer details, he has given me a couple of maps showing the collection points. These are hand drawn maps, by drivers who have done the collections previously, so are easy to follow. Round the M25 and off at the last exit before the Dartford Bridge and the map takes me straight to the collection. I had thought when I looked at the map that it seemed familiar and when I arrive I realise why, the building and yard used to be a Schenkers depot and I had been to it a couple of times before.
Twenty-two pallets to load here and they are all out in the yard waiting. On guy jumps in the back with the pallet truck and another fork lifts them on and it isn’t too long before I am heading back to Hatfield where I drop the trailer on the designated bay and hook up to another empty before heading back round the M25.
I could have gone down the M11 and taken the Woolwich ferry across the river as the collection is just one roundabout along from the ferry berth according to the hand drawn map but along with the keys this morning they gave me a Dart Tag so I guess they want me to go that way. I call in at the junction 26 truckstop for my break and something to eat. The food was fine but the service was very slow, despite the fact there were only half a dozen customers, and it took half an hour for my meal to arrive. 
The map they gave me only shows the area around the collection but I am pretty sure that if I take the first exit over the bridge and follow that road west it will lead me to Woolwich, and it does. I find the place with no problems, although due to traffic I am a little late, and load seven pallets before heading back to Hatfield.
After dropping the trailer on the bay, I park the unit in the car park, chuck my bag in my car and go into the traffic office to return the run sheet and paperwork and to book off at 19:45.
Tuesday 25th July
Another 10:00 start for DHL today and this time my unit is a 55 plate Actros, with a slightly different version of the gearbox to the one I drove on Sunday, this one has a clutch pedal. This must be one of the regular drivers units and rather worryingly, it has a blue rope light along the bottom of the windscreen. Luckily, I find the plug and unplug it.
Today’s run is down to Eastbourne for one collection, at 16:30 and another in Uckfield, at 18:00, before returning to the yard. Again, I have been supplied with hand drawn maps of the collections and as it is only 10:30 when I pull out of the depot, I have plenty of time to get to the first job. I don’t think I have ever been to Eastbourne but I have seen signs for it off junction 6 on the M25 so I decide that seems the best way to go. It is a nice run with the sun shining and the a/c doing its fine work I make good time round the motorway and pick up the A22 when I the exit after the M23.
On my way down the A22 I realise I will pass through Uckfield, the signs saying the distance to Uckfield were the clue and on checking the map I was given I see I pass the end of the road I will need for the second collection, now all I need to do is find the first one.
With plenty of time in hand I pull into a lay-by, double checking that the blue rope light is off, and decide to take my break and have the sandwiches I made this morning and packed into my cool bag along with a couple of apples and a yoghurt. Just about now, I realise I should have brought the kitchen worktop with me from home when I left this morning, because that is where my cool bag is currently sitting.
Ah well, I take my break anyway and then head on down toward Eastbourne. I check the map and spot a couple of the landmarks drawn on it and before long I arrive at the customers premises. The yard is small and I will need to reverse in from the street but before I can the forklift driver and one of the office women come out to speak to me. It seems they are making a corporate video today and want to video me reversing in. Oh great, loads of potential to make a complete hash of it them.
The video crew are from Germany, the company is part of a German firm, and they introduce themselves. I haven’t had the chance to speak any German for a few months so I get in a little practice, totally unnecessary as they speak perfect English. The camerawoman is fitter than a fit thing, no seriously, whatever you are thinking she was much, much fitter than that.
Thankfully the reverse goes well, straight in without a shunt and they then ask if I would assist with a couple of other shots they need. Well you know video and me so I agree. She then films the forklift driver bringing out one box on a pallet, then films him while she stands on the pallet as he drives along. Next, she gets me opening the roller shutter, taking the box of the pallet and putting it in the trailer before closing the shutter. She is lucky to get that on tape, it is the first bit of loading or unloading I have done this week. Then, she get inside the trailer and films me taking the box from the pallet and placing it in the trailer, she also takes shots of the same thing from a couple of different angles. When it comes time for her to get out of the trailer she hands the camera to one of the other guys who promptly takes it and wanders off leaving her in the trailer. I have to help her down and at this point, I discover she is not just fit, she is firm as well.
The forklift guy now tells me that they do not have anything to load because there computer system is down so I can leave, but before I do the camera crew want to set up a shot of me leaving and the warehouse people waving the truck off, like that happens every day. The camera is set up on a tripod pointing at the front of the unit and the plan is that I drive away and as the trailer disappears from view, the warehouse people will all be waving. Great plan except when I get to the entrance I have to stop because there is a car coming and the trailer is still across the front of the camera. Take 2. This time two of the Germans go out into the street to hold any traffic back and I reverse up to try again. Success this time and with my stint as a media tart over I head for Uckfield.
I am going to be too early for the collection so I stop in a lay-by for another break and a coffee before continuing. Even hanging it out I arrive at 17:15 and the seven pallets I have to collect are not ready until 18:00. This time I have to wheel them up the trailer with a pallet truck but I have not done much else today so I cannot really complain.
By 18:15, I am under way and a steady run back sees me in the depot and dropping the trailer on the bay a little before 20:30 and booked off by 20:45.
Even though I did not work last Thursday, I am still taking my rest day tomorrow and will start again on Thursday, unforeseen circumstances allowing.
.
.