To take it a step further…
Your ‘ego’ in Freudian terms, is a sign of not only your opinion of your (self) esteem, it is also an indication to others of the amount of self confidence you have.
(Jeez this thread is getting heavy. )
Personally I have never lacked self confidence in anything…well almost never.
My secret to that is (which I usually keep to myself to ‘not show my cards’ but what the hell) is that as a young boy I was quite shy with very little confidence.
I counteracted that by watching those who were the opposite and just imitated them…put on an act if you like.
The first girl I ever approached I was cacking myself, but I put on an act and stormed in like Jack the lad…and it worked.
I went on to do DJ ing speaking on a mike in a room full of people,.something I could never do as the ‘real me’.
It got to the stage where it just came natural and it became the ‘real me’ but I did do the same technique from time to time later on when involved in security situations.
Hence my steadfast self confidence… and over inflated ego today.
You’re deffo onto the case. Personally, I see ego, self-confidence and self-esteem as three slightly different things.
Ego is, as we’ve described it the survival sense of self hard-wired into us over millenia.
Self-confidence is often seen as over-confidence or bravado.
Self-esteem is an important element ensuring that we are able to affirm to ourselves and others that we are good enough. This is a teachable skill and is particularly important in adolescence.
This is me talking, not a text book so take it with the customary pinch of salt.
Absolutely and the proof of the pudding is how you or they follow it up…or don’t.
I have seen bravado many times, but you can usually make a judgement by body language,…(or how many mates somebody has stood around him. )
Over confidence can sometimes be as bad as no confidence,.when people go on to make fools of themselves by eventually backing down, after suddenlly discovering they have bitten off more than they can chew…or as my ex Army door man mate used to say having plenty of bullets but not the means to fire them.
We seem to be getting off the subject of basically ‘gobbing off on this forum’,… and tbf I suppose I am well qualified to comment on that.
But i reckon the real life scenarios I have pointed out aptly also applies to some of the stuff that goes on here as pointed out in your original post, but in my defence if your o/p does partly apply to me,.as I have already said in my defence, or to justify it , I make a rule on here that I will not say anything to somebody that I would not say to their face in ‘real life’…, it makes for a more relavant and genuine conversation.
But there are a few on here who make it obvious by their persona that they do not have the same criteria. which takes us back to our original point on bravado.
Wow !
As I said we are getting too deep and maybe reading too much in to what is merely a forum …but nice to have an intelligent non beligerant conversation with somebody on here for a change anyway… with no personal attacks
I think a bit of self-awareness goes 75% toward preventing oneself from straying into abusive behaviour. We all know how to do it: it’s just remembering to do in real-life situations!
Sometimes, smart people do/say stupid things.
Sometimes, an idiot gets to a position they should never be in.
And in relevance to this thread it tends to be idiots who are most likely to be insulting.
When I see name calling, and frequent use of bad language, especially if it is the same tired old phrases, used by lazy minds I sort of assume that is not an otherwise smart person making a rare dubious comment, but an actual idiot being their normal (idiotic) selves.
Idiots lack the ability, or are too lazy, to think about individual cases so lump groups together. Prejudice. _isms.
They use their prejudices habitually, and sometimes if challenged find it hard to justify them.
“But everyone knows…blah blah…”
“I don’t need to explain” “You must know but refuse to admit it”
As a bit of an aside, a lecturer said that the best way to learn about anything is to teach it.
When you need to use language to explain something, rather than just go on feelings and emotions, it does make you get your thoughts into a more rational order. Give a lecture on anything, and take questions afterwards, and you will soon find any holes in your understanding.
Chucking out a few insults might make your ego feel better, but generally it makes you look like a knob.
I would argue that problems are not caused by clever, nor idiotic groups, but by the selfish, rather than sympathetic or empathetic people.
@star_down_under
Re education and teaching etc Richard Feynman had some wise words, this story is typical of him.
"Feynman was a truly great teacher. He prided himself on being able to devise ways to explain even the most profound ideas to beginning students. Once, I said to him, “■■■■, explain to me, so that I can understand it, why spin one-half particles obey Fermi-Dirac statistics.” Sizing up his audience perfectly, Feynman said, “I’ll prepare a freshman lecture on it.” But he came back a few days later to say, “I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t reduce it to the freshman level. That means we don’t really understand it.”
For anyone unfamiliar I recommend looking up Feynman. Great scientist, and seems like a genuinely interesting, and fun guy.
Edit…Gee…abbreviation for Richard censored.
And in case it passed anyone by the last line of my previous post was very deliberate!
Yes, this is true. Teaching something you are learning is a powerful way of teaching. I just happen to be doing that at the moment at the age of 73, with newly acquired skills. However, a little knowledge is dangerous, so it has to be tempered with humility (and a preparedness to be ‘moderated’ by an observer!).
The governor speaking on idiots was very interesting. But I couldn’t understand why he kept using the word ‘cruel / cruelty’ where he appeared to mean ‘reject / rejection’. Cruelty struck me as the wrong word.
Oh dear oh dear…Have I offended you.
You call THAT a ‘belligerent attack’ btw.
And you call ME a drama queen?
Best give Jay Blades a bell mate, get that irony meter sorted.
See if he can sort your sense of humour while yer at it.
Was it advancing any sort of argument? Offering facts or disputing non facts?
Was it relevant to Trump or anything on topic?
It looked to me to be a post doing nothing except comment on another poster.
In my book that is not part of “an intelligent and non-belligerant conversation”.
Am I offended by it?
Nope. Not in the sense that I feel in any way hurt or insulted.
But i maintain it is a post commenting on posters, not on the subject.
Then maybe you should lighten up a bit, not take this forum (and life) too seriously…, and stop playing the victim…just a suggestion.
Especially when your own trademark profound pomposity and subtle belligerence on here is responsible for bringing on most of what you complain about.
(Oops there I go again commenting on the poster.…but you did bring it up which merited a reply.)
I get quite a bit of stick on here, but I just tend to let it wash over me without a second thought…except of course when it is from those who can give it out but not take it themselves,.and also especially when it crosses the line like stuff put out in the past from yourself in fact…if ya get my drift and want to talk about insults.
I can not believe we are having an in depth conversation about a joke goat meme.
The word pathetic springs to mind.
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