The ministry man

UK PROFESSIONAL DRIVERS FORUMS OLD TIME LORRIES, COMPANIES AND DRIVERS (INTERACT
21

haddy:

Chris Webb:
The “silent check” Ministry Men were the worst.It was always a moment of trepidation when I handed me log sheets/books in.One from Sheffield used to come and sup tea with our gaffer,all the drivers were fearing the worst… :stuck_out_tongue:

I know exactly what you mean Chris, we would all be ■■■■■■■■ ourselves if the local MM visited our office.

We were lucky, our boss was an ex. driver who had pulled the same tricks himself and he would back you all the way.
Of course you had to do an extra little local job the next day to keep him sweet !
I once bumped into him one night in the local chippy, he just laughed and said “where are you tonight?” :laughing: :laughing:

22

haddy:

Chris Webb:
The “silent check” Ministry Men were the worst.It was always a moment of trepidation when I handed me log sheets/books in.One from Sheffield used to come and sup tea with our gaffer,all the drivers were fearing the worst… :stuck_out_tongue:

I know exactly what you mean Chris, we would all be ■■■■■■■■ ourselves if the local MM visited our office.

One of my bosses used to go to school with the local ministry bod, she was renowned for being quite stern and the boss could make her melt when she paid him a visit :stuck_out_tongue:

Archie Paice could name her in one :laughing:

23

As a driver I never had much to do with them, I spent a lot of time over the water so stayed out of their way, if they were doing a blitz outside the dock I stayed in the dock until they’d gone :smiley:

As an O/D I had a few roadside inspections, but never got a GV9 so I can say they were ok then too, I got a few lorries on the road and, again, never had any problems with them, I got a silly delayed prohibition for a missing mudflap on a trailer, but got that lifted and removed from the records after speaking to my local MM, the driver had an inspection at the one on the A34, all was good, then he ripped the mudflap off the trailer on the yellow bar things at the loading dock about a two minute drive away from the VOSA checkpoint, on the way out Evil Kenevil pulled him at the roundabout when he noticed the missing mudflap, so I had a good inspection and a bad inspection less than an hour apart, I got it fixed and had the prohibition removed that afternoon, rung up and talked to them about it, it was sorted.

I also had to move yards in a hurry, I had a trailer load of air conditioners nicked and was sick to death of the nomadic community nearby filling their Transits up from my diesel tanks, I phoned VOSA and they made it all very easy for me, so I have no complaints about them at all.

Now having said that, if I knew they were about I’d avoid them like the plague, they may have been ok with me, but that was only because I minimised the interaction we had, I know a lot of what you hear about them is exaggerated, or even complete BS, but there’s no smoke without fire :wink:

24

When we were doing a big resurfacing job near Swindon on the M4 some years ago, there must have been a huge penalty clause on the lanes because the contractor had most, if not all, the quarries from the area delivering coated. There was always a friendly rivalry between different sites but sometimes it was an unfriendly rivalry between quarrying companies… One old boy from our place had a demon sense of humour and was always arseing about…much to everyones amusement. Wally was his name and, boy, could he live up to it! A really lovely old fella too…

Anyway, on this job we arrived there on a gloriously sunny afternoon only to find the machine had broken down and lorries parked everywhere waiting to tip. It was absolute chaos! In amongst all the tippers was small groups of drivers having a natter and a ■■■ but mostly not chatting to anyone from different quarries… From behind one of the wagon’s was heard a tapping noise and a lot of tutting… There was Wally, with an authentic long brown wheel tappers coat and small tapping hammer, moving from lorry to lorry, checking wheelnuts and lights, all the usual stuff. We all knew the crack and just giggled and played along but you should have seen some of the drivers move!! Quite a lot decided to go and hide in their cabs for some reason… :smiley: :smiley:

It was a classic moment! :smiley: :smiley:

25

Are you on about BB wheelnut

26

Stanfield:
Are you on about BB wheelnut

Oh No, the lovely Ms Bell was only a dribble at the time :stuck_out_tongue:

27

colin waddilove was my local ministry man years ago , i once gave him the finger because i didnt know who he was :open_mouth:

28

The Ministry Men I didn’t like were the silent check snoopers,taking yer reg number and time seen.There was one called Nelson from Penistone that used to sit at Flouch crossroads on Woodhead.If you were legal you waved to him,if not it was a case of altering the old “flexible” log sheets or making your log book right.Used to sweat a bit for a few weeks,hoping not to be summoned to the office. :laughing:

29

I know I said my brother is a ministry man but I’ve had my “differences” with them. Once got silent checked between Wetherby and Red House cafe at Doncaster (old A1), trouble was there was nobody driving the thing, we were doing a changeover at Wetherby, I booked off at Wetherby, mate booked on at Doncaster. Oops :blush: .
This brother of mine once looked at my car and told me the number plate letter spacing was illegal. I told him to pi** off or I would tell our mother. He’s a great fella when he’s not working but I understand he’s got a “reputation” when he is working.:wink:

30

Chris Webb:
The Ministry Men I didn’t like were the silent check snoopers,taking yer reg number and time seen.There was one called Nelson from Penistone that used to sit at Flouch crossroads on Woodhead.If you were legal you waved to him,if not it was a case of altering the old “flexible” log sheets or making your log book right.Used to sweat a bit for a few weeks,hoping not to be summoned to the office. :laughing:

Did Nelson always keep his eye out for you Chris :laughing: .

31

I got a pull one day. After the Ministry Man did a quick walk around he told me he was very puzzled. The wagon is carrying bales of wool its signwritten Hepworth and Grandage foundry youre running on a Cliff Parrott log book and youre load is covered by an A- One Sheet. I informed him A- One had recently bought out Parrotts and life would never be the same again.

32

mushroomman:

Chris Webb:
The Ministry Men I didn’t like were the silent check snoopers,taking yer reg number and time seen.There was one called Nelson from Penistone that used to sit at Flouch crossroads on Woodhead.If you were legal you waved to him,if not it was a case of altering the old “flexible” log sheets or making your log book right.Used to sweat a bit for a few weeks,hoping not to be summoned to the office. :laughing:

Did Nelson always keep his eye out for you Chris :laughing: .

:laughing:
Aye.

33

A driver I knew,Tony Lawless RIP,got silent checked twice in one day,Boroughbridge northbound,booked off at Newcastle,and checked again at Wetherby southbound,booked off at Scotch Corner.I forget the fines,was about 1970,but he did get his cards. :smiley:

34

I knew a driver who although he kept the same trailer on all the time had a spare number plate which was swapped when going over his time with the numbers chalked on and a deliberate mistake in how they were wrote out :unamused: and C W knows the driver.
I can remember pulling onto the Leicester forest services and my dad was in so I asked him to pick me up from Alfreton turn off as he was on the BRS at the time and he told he had been pulled twice that day by the ministry men and as we came out he got pulled on there for another log sheet check so he said to the ministry man you had better keep them as you have ■■■■■■■ had them more than me today :exclamation: but they found something to do him for but I can’t remember what as this would have been late 60s as it was still log sheets.
cheers Johnnie

35

sammyopisite:
I knew a driver who although he kept the same trailer on all the time had a spare number plate which was swapped when going over his time with the numbers chalked on and a deliberate mistake in how they were wrote out :unamused: and C W knows the driver.
I can remember pulling onto the Leicester forest services and my dad was in so I asked him to pick me up from Alfreton turn off as he was on the BRS at the time and he told he had been pulled twice that day by the ministry men and as we came out he got pulled on there for another log sheet check so he said to the ministry man you had better keep them as you have [zb] had them more than me today :exclamation: but they found something to do him for but I can’t remember what as this would have been late 60s as it was still log sheets.
cheers Johnnie

Yes,I know the driver you mean Sammie,parked in the yard,drew night out money and was booked off in Liverpool. :laughing:
I also know a tanker driver who sat in a lay-by on the A66 one saturday afternoon unti he thought the pre-warned Ministry Men had gone home from Scotch Corner. :unamused:

36

I remember many years ago pulling into a layby at Wisbech for a break. It was around lunchtime. Little did I know that it was the layby that the ministry men were using and they had gone for their lunch. After about half an hour of me being there, they returned and set out their cones again. They said that it was nice of me to wait for them and that my vehicle would be the first they would check over for their afternoon session.
I think that even they could see the funny side of the situation.

37

Only ever stopped twice by the ministry. Once,up near Kendal for a log book check, which I hadn’t completed properly, the guy gave me a couple of minutes to fill it in and get it up to date, then sent me on my way, he was polite, courteous, and friendly.

Second time was a weight check, I had an F89 and 40’ container with tractors from Coventry, I was 3cwt over on the drive axle ( the weight for the F89 on the drive, was at least 2.5 tons heavier than the UK weight ). These guys couldn’t have been more helpful if they’d tried. We shunted the sliding 5th wheel, we took the spare wheel off the rear, tried “shunting” the load back, we were there at least an hour, to no avail. But, I couldn’t fault the guys who did every thing they could to reduce the weight. Got find £60.00, which the container company paid.

Maybe I’ve just been lucky, that the only ones I got involved with were helpful people.

38

I got pulled twice for black smoke,the first time was around 1970 with a cut-down AEC MK5 Mammoth Major morphed into a three-axled unit pulling a tank loaded with 5000 galls of benzene.It was on the A18 just east of Scunthorpe and whilst the paperwork man was preparing the delayed GV9 the spanner man was banging about under the tank.I asked if there was any danger of sparks just in case of a vapour leak so he dragged himself into daylight and left all alone.The tank was labelled in the correct - for then - manner,way before hazchem labels and tremcards.
The second time was on the A465 Blackrock Heads of the Valleys road,one friday afternoon in a Mandator.I was empty going uppards and had just passed a 6-wheeled tipper belching more black out than me.I must have been unfortunate as the lay-by where the checks were being made was empty so I was a prime candidate and got another delayed GV9 whilst the tipper crawled past still belching forth.
After minor pump adjustments at Sheffield both motors were presented to Handsworth Testing Station and passed with flying colours.

39

Used to get stopped all the time when I was running containers out of Felixstowe,either at Chelmsford by the Army & Navy roundabout (council weighbridge was just around the corner) or at Risby by Deputy Dog’s.

I got stopped early one evening as I was on my way to park up outside a factory near the M5 south of Birmingham,ready to tip the next morning.Plod noticed I had no brake lights on the trailer,and the MM with him sat next to me while plod escorted me to the factory.
The wiring in the susie had come adrift and,although I had a few tools,I couldn’t get the plug apart to fix it,it was all rusted and corroded.
So,they slap a prohibition on me and I have to wait until the next morning after I’m tipped for Volvo to come and fit a new susie.
Phone plod,but he say’s that the vehicle has to be tested at an MoT station before the prohibition can be lifted.
Right,so how am I supposed to get to an MoT station if I’m not allowed to move?
‘Erm,not too sure on the rules about that’.
Plod turns up,minus MM man,and gives me some paperwork that must be presented to MoT station to remove prohibition.
‘It’s up to you what you do’ say’s plod,'But if you get stopped between here and the MoT station you’re in big trouble!

Next stop was the MoT station at Ipswich,whereupon the examiner just said ‘Has it been fixed’? Yes,it has.‘Right,off you go then’!

Another regular pull was on the M4 near Bath.
This time I was working for a dutch firm pulling a short bacon trailer,which was always a bit iffy on drive axle weights.
Anyway,I’m over on the drive axle,but glory be there’s a bloke there at the checkpoint who’s making an absolute fortune with his fork lift truck!
So,all the pallets have to come out and then re-arranged to get the drive axle right.No fine to pay,no summons,just £70 to the fork lift driver.

Another time,with same bacon trailer,I get pulled at Chester.
Again,drive axle over,but as I am only part loaded I could re-arrange the pallets myself.
‘No you can’t’!! say’s the MM man,once you’re nicked then you’re nicked!
So,I got a summons through the post,and I still had to re-arrange the pallets before they’d let me go.
I think the guy who nicked me at Chester later went on to become TC for the North West,but the scumbag’s name escapes me.

M6 Spaghetti Junction was another one,into the works unit.Only got pulled there once,and when the copper realised I was English (same Dutch bacon trailer) he just waved me out again.

Coming up from Redruth (yup,same dutch bacon trailer) I got stopped on the hard shoulder of the M5 and was told to follow plod to a weighbridge.“You’re wasting your time”,I said,“I’m empty”!
‘Just follow us’! came the curt reply.
Arrived at weighbridge and plod drove straight off,MM comes out of hut and say’s ‘What weight you got on driver’?
“I’m empty,just as I just told those two plods”
‘What! why the hell did they drag you in here for then? Off you go’.

40

In the 80’s I had a an old D series which was an ex furniture van, had I think 30 something feet luton body on it (huge over hang on rear). I was parked up just where the A74 meets the M6 when the cops pull in, Mr Plod comes over with MM and want to have a look at Taco and then looks at licenes all in order. MM then says "this is 18 ton " I reply yes (you no wherr this is going) he says “are you fully loaded” to which I reply “high hard and tight couldnt get a teather in there” he then looking at this huge body says “well you must be well over weight we will get you down the weigh bridge” to which I replied “not a chance no way” he replied “how come” then I told him I was carrying 13,500 christmas crackers he made me open up the back looked inside saw i was telling the truth and told me to f**k off and stop wasteing their time.