eddie snax:
Go on tell me the bloke that the office monkey spoke to was a geordie in excile in Newcastle Under Lyme
He never spoke to anyone the geordies were the only ones he’d heard of I got anextra days money & a night out out of it ,I only had to do 3 hrs work the second day to get back but I was on an 8 hr min day 
When I worked in a traffic office we once sent an agency driver to Queensferry - the one in North Wales, he rang up 5 hrs later to say he could not find Iceland at Queensferry. After some discussion and trying to give him directions I twigged that he was in Queensferry Scotland.
He missed the delivery slot !!!
waiting to load in Wick Scotland, a polish driver came into the yard looking for lildals [i think] Wick, it was near Bristol.
gavin c:
waiting to load in Wick Scotland, a polish driver came into the yard looking for lildals [i think] Wick, it was near Bristol.
that’ll be
Lidl Regional Distribution Centre, Locking Castle Business Park, West Wick, Weston-super-Mare
just off M5 J21
Got a Phone call off the TM at Henderson Garage doors telling me to make an Urgent Collection from Bryants Building site in Sluff, I argued black and white that I’d never heard of it, he was adamant I’d been there before, I argued back saying it must have been the south east wagon that had delivered to them, thinking this place really existed, then he spelt it out .
S.L.O.U.G.H
Talked to a John Raymond driver 2 or 3 years back in a builders merchants in Chelmsford who had just had his load rejected. He had come over Sunday from S.Wales with Rockwool for an early tip but should have been in Cheltenham! Same first 4 letters - one confused computer! Also one late delivery, one cancelled return load and one extra day for the driver at double time!
One of my jobs last week was to “Some Welsh Place” and “I can’t spell it, but it’s got loads of L’s in it”.
He (being my TM) spelt it out to me, I translated. Llandrindod Wells. Looks like I’ll be getting more of the Cymru jobs now from there as I know how to spell welsh names 
When I worked for Murfitts I spent a lot of time in Italy. One trip I tipped in Pordinone and my reload was from Porcia.
Being a smart arse, as I was looking up Porcia in the index, I said to myself, “being as this is Italy, that’ll be pronounced Porchia”.
Unfortunately, the first name I came to in the index was Porchia (probably pronounced Porkia), not far from Comunanza an area we collected from frequently, and having put Porchia into my head I took that as my destination. So I set off for the 5 hour drive plus a break. After my break I set off again, then the phone started ringing, the phone NEVER rang. Because all communication was done by satellite text messaging. 
, the satellite phone was only used for emergencies.
I didn’t have any excuse, I hadn’t miss copied anything, it was there written down for me .
The phone call went something like:-
My TM, “Where the [zb] are you going?”
Me, “Oh [zb], seeing as your asking, obviously not where you sent me”
TM, “[zbing] right you’re not, get your arse turned around and head back up the road, I’ll text you your new reload.”
Porcia was at most 2 hours from where I had tipped, and this was a Friday. I should have reloaded, done my paperwork and got to the north of Switzerland by that evening, over to Dover for Saturday night and tipped in UK on Monday.
Instead I got W/Eed in Italy, reloaded on the Monday and tipped on Wednesday or Thursday.
being smug, I always ask for the post-code so if it’s not what I expected the penny drops immediately and I ask for confirmation of where it is.
comes from tradeplating where it’d be even worse, having hitch-hiked all the way up the wrong way to have to go elsewhere, meaning not only wrong place but no vehicle, and in the ■■■ for getting on, and not paid for the hitch 
for example, the first and only time I got it wrong was when my XDA with full address and directions was knackered. I was told to make my way from sheffield to hatfield for the next collection, so I did - hatfield being a local village to my upbringing, next to the M18/180 junction, between Doncaster and Thorne.
Can’t find the job, and annoyed, just spent a fiver on a tram, a train and a bus taking 3 hours combined to get there (quicker than hitching that time of day though)…
“where are you? noooo, hatfield down south… outside london”
never again would I forget to demand a postcode 
lack of “DN” beginning woulda given the game away
Happened to me a few weeks ago. Agency told me the run was Tesco, Chepstow. After confirming that the following collection was in Somerset, I head off that way, having also been given a Severn Tag, and around Gloucester area, I pull out the trip sheet to confirm the booking time, only to see Didcot. 
This can’t be right, I thinks. So I find somewhere to stop, open the doors and check the load. All marked up for Didcot.
A quick diversion, A417, M4, A34 (because I had a double decked trailer), AND I still made the booking slot. 
There you go Lucy, We’re almost ALL Muppets.