The Saxmachine:
You’ve had two miles saying these lanes are closed! And another 800 yards and flashing cones. Why are you still overtaking?Clowns to the left, jokers to the right, stuck in the middle behind you!
waits for the inevitable zip merging comments 
Here’s a couple you get in France, the first at the beginning of the usual summer race to the holiday beaches, the second trying to get straight to the point.
SLOW DOWN, THE SEA WILL NOT EVAPORATE.
SLOW DOWN DADDY … WE LOVE YOU
Trukkertone:
Dear car driver, although you think you are smart and your bright red rear fog light looks pretty in the dark and wet weather because it makes the spray look beautiful, i must point out one thing if you don’t mind… they are called FOG LIGHTS for a reason, it is so that intelligent people can use them in REAL FOG to improve road safety… but it has been known for some half wit interbred morons to use them on other occasions, such as now. I’m sure you didn’t realise you had left them on since last month when it was foggy. Could you kindly please switch them off… Thank you , have a nice day…XXXXXXX
That would have to be a very big board
ONLY TOSSERS DRIVE BMW’s.
NO MUSLIMS BEYOND THIS POINT.
I’VE JUST TAUGHT YOUR WIFE TO SWALLOW.
Cruise Control:
i’m still waiting to hear about the story from THEREALBIFFO about that got put on a matrix sign one day then the rules got changed after that incident so only 2 people at HA could type things on matrix signs! Lol
Can’t tell you, I’d have to kill you afterwards!!
GUINNESS IS GOOD FOR YOU
“dont cut lorry drivers up when overtaking them”
“speed match when entering the motorway instead of SLOWING DOWN !!!”
The real Biffo:
Cruise Control:
i’m still waiting to hear about the story from THEREALBIFFO about that got put on a matrix sign one day then the rules got changed after that incident so only 2 people at HA could type things on matrix signs! LolCan’t tell you, I’d have to kill you afterwards!!
shhh, we can keep a secret (oi you lot that your que to nod and say “of course we can keep a secret”), so go on and spill the bean’s… and tell us every thing blood, gut’s the lot…