One thing ive noticed is no one has said dont drive after 22.30(cet) on a saturday until 22.00 on sunday in europe cos there is a lorry ban.
I found this out on my first trip over the water to marsellie(flick knife alley) i heard 2 guys with fridges talking on the chicken box saying did you see that tilt going down the otherside, well thats when i found out i shouldnt be driving. they were good enough to tell me where to park without bumping into the condoms. Even the customer questioned how come i got there so early( no pleasing some people 
)
Harry Monk:
mad monk:
hi mate ,first piece of advice would be learn a few phrases in different languages even if its hello , please and thankyou . you will be suprised how far that will get you .
Yes, I always find “Vous etes un fromage mangeant singe de reddition” works wonders with the Gendarmerie.
I’m guessing that’s “Cheese eating surrender monkey” right?
Trust you harry to show the toilets…youve completely ruined the lads dream…ha ha…anyway…these toilets are more hygienic as you dont have to put your bum where someone else has…but…i dont like them either…and what about people with bad backs, legs etc…
Anyway…i was running with egg on legs one trip…and he wanted a pony…so i waited whilst he went, and after a while…he reappeared…red faced…even looked ill…but i couldnt stop laughing when he explained…he couldnt get up, and was sitting on the floor…with no grab handles to help him…in his own excitement…his wallet (the french/belgium one with a chain(that wasnt chained) had fell down the hole, now this contained his running money etcf, so he had to put his hand, up to his elbow to retrieve it, luckily for him he did recover it…but it need ed washing…so did his arm…good job it was behind his back…dropped the wallet on my cab floor, said look after that and went off to wash…lol…lol
truckyboy:
Trust you harry to show the toilets…youve completely ruined the lads dream…ha ha…anyway…these toilets are more hygienic as you dont have to put your bum where someone else has…but…i dont like them either…and what about people with bad backs, legs etc…
Anyway…i was running with egg on legs one trip…and he wanted a pony…so i waited whilst he went, and after a while…he reappeared…red faced…even looked ill…but i couldnt stop laughing when he explained…he couldnt get up, and was sitting on the floor…with no grab handles to help him…in his own excitement…his wallet (the french/belgium one with a chain(that wasnt chained) had fell down the hole, now this contained his running money etcf, so he had to put his hand, up to his elbow to retrieve it, luckily for him he did recover it…but it need ed washing…so did his arm…good job it was behind his back…dropped the wallet on my cab floor, said look after that and went off to wash…lol…lol
But Bob that is why you always shake hands with the continentals upon meeting them 
When using a spreadaxle never ever leave your keys in your pocket, that is one jingle/splash you don’t want to hear
Also do not mention the war in Germany
And most importantly, some of the ladies of the night are not in fact ‘ladies’
any advice would be appreciated 
