Condolences to all involved and a little bit of advice after suffering from PTSD and depression post attending the ufton nervet rail crash scene .mind offer a good free counciling service that was very helpfull and discrete might be worth a call and good luck
Latique:
Condolences to all involved and a little bit of advice after suffering from PTSD and depression post attending the ufton nervet rail crash scene .mind offer a good free counciling service that was very helpfull and discrete might be worth a call and good luck
I had all mine through the NHS and despite reporting of the mental health situation on the NHS I was extremely well looked after with no waiting at all (things where bad with me at the time)
I can not fault the NHS one bit.
I didn’t know about other options, all good information for people thanks.
I really think that the moderators should close this thread as it contains too many details that can identify the deceased. Maybe the more sensitive thing to do would be to start a post saying that unfortunately some time ago you killed a pedestrian in unfortunate circumstances.
Judehamish:
I really think that the moderators should close this thread as it contains too many details that can identify the deceased. Maybe the more sensitive thing to do would be to start a post saying that unfortunately some time ago you killed a pedestrian in unfortunate circumstances.
All due respect but the op has not posted anything that could not be read in the local news paper, and that would likely contain more information than has been posted here.
Hopefully the dashcam footage will settle the case here, it does sound from the OP’s description that it may have been a suicide, here’s a tale of something that happened to me, about 30 years ago.
I was minicab driving. It was about two o’clock in the morning and I was driving on a deserted country lane. I had a passenger who was sitting in the front seat. I was the only car on the road, and the passenger and I were chatting.
Suddenly, from the undergrowth, somebody leapt out into the road, right in front of me. Came from absolutely nowhere. I made a full-on emergency brake, swerved to the right, and missed him by inches. There is no way he could have just been crossing the road and hadn’t seen me (there was nowhere he could have been heading to anyway), he was definitely trying to throw himself into the path of my car. The passenger saw all of this. We were shaking like leaves afterwards. In hindsight, maybe I should have reported it to the Police, I read the local newspapers the following week to see if anybody had been killed on that road, on that night, had they done so I would have gone to the Police and told them about my experience.
I know two truck drivers who have had people walk out in front of them, one on the A20 outside Dover, and one on the M3. Both people died. Both drivers said the victim clearly looked at the truck and consciously and deliberately walked out in front of it.
Chin up fella, it wasn’t any fault of yours, whatever happened, and I’m sure the Police will conclude the same. Just get back in the truck after the holidays and crack on. You have obligations to your family, don’t let it destroy you. I know you won’t.
Horrible thing to happen, as Harry says chin up fella dont let it eat you up. All the best for the new year.
Couple of guys I speak to regular are train drivers.
One of them has had 3 ‘one under’s’ as they call them on the railway in the space of just 8 years. He’s some how OK and is still driving. Don’t know how he does to be honest, I guess it effects different people in many different ways.
I wouldn’t cope with to well if it happened to me driving a truck I reckon.
I feel for the OP. Good luck fella.
Gembo:
Couple of guys I speak to regular are train drivers.
One of them has had 3 ‘one under’s’ as they call them on the railway in the space of just 8 years. He’s some how OK and is still driving. Don’t know how he does to be honest, I guess it effects different people in many different ways.
I wouldn’t cope with to well if it happened to me driving a truck I reckon.
I feel for the OP. Good luck fella.
I’ve had 2 within a week of each other when I worked on the railway 
Gembo:
Couple of guys I speak to regular are train drivers.
One of them has had 3 ‘one under’s’ as they call them on the railway in the space of just 8 years. He’s some how OK and is still driving. Don’t know how he does to be honest, I guess it effects different people in many different ways.
I wouldn’t cope with to well if it happened to me driving a truck I reckon.
I feel for the OP. Good luck fella.
When you drive a train, it goes with the territory, I read once that the average London tube train driver will have three “one unders” in his career.
if it happened to me while driving a truck, I am sure that it would be an horrific experience, but I absolutely 100% guarantee that I would be back out in the truck the very next day. Obviously it would prey on my mind, not just that day but for the rest of my life but I have obligations to my partner and my children and I wouldn’t fail them.
The only other thing I’ll add is that if things ever did get so bad that I felt i had no choice but to take my own life, I would do it quickly, quietly and on my own, I would never involve a truck or train driver in my personal tragedy.
Hopefully the OP can keep us updated with this, the best help he can get is by talking about this with his fellow drivers.
A couple years back a mate of mine was driving at night well had come to standstill on M69 ( another accident ) & a car drove straight into back of him he is ok now say it does get easier in time as said you were in wrong place wrong time nowt you could do
Didn’t Mr Vain ( Rob ) have a car drive into him a few years back 
Judehamish:
I really think that the moderators should close this thread as it contains too many details that can identify the deceased. Maybe the more sensitive thing to do would be to start a post saying that unfortunately some time ago you killed a pedestrian in unfortunate circumstances.
No, believe it or not this is a way in which the OP can get help and express thoughts that they may otherwise keep to themselves. No guarantee it will make any difference or be more effective than professional help but realising that it has happened to others who have got back behind the wheel may help.
I have hit a person and know three drivers who have had fatal crashes (same with Drift - buses and people don’t mix)
This can be a very dark time of year for some people - maybe we should all just spend a bit of extra effort with people we know to see how they really are.
m1cks:
Judehamish:
I really think that the moderators should close this thread as it contains too many details that can identify the deceased. Maybe the more sensitive thing to do would be to start a post saying that unfortunately some time ago you killed a pedestrian in unfortunate circumstances.No, believe it or not this is a way in which the OP can get help and express thoughts that they may otherwise keep to themselves. No guarantee it will make any difference or be more effective than professional help but realising that it has happened to others who have got back behind the wheel may help.
I have hit a person and know three drivers who have had fatal crashes (same with Drift - buses and people don’t mix)
This can be a very dark time of year for some people - maybe we should all just spend a bit of extra effort with people we know to see how they really are.
Agree, there is absolutely no reason whatsoever why the thread should be closed. Even if a person did trawl the internet and discover the identity of the deceased lady, it would only be because it had been reported in the mainstream media. If the OP wants to talk about his experience, and others here can offer advice then I really can’t see the problem with that.
I really feel for you and yours to have to suffer through this, especially at this time of year.
It does you great credit in my book that you have the sensitivity to care more about the feelings of the family and friends of the lady involved than the effect on you.
But whatever happened to lead up to this was completely beyond your control, it was an accident of fate you were there at that second so try to keep hold of the reality that this is just very bad luck.
There are voices of experience here offering advice on who to talk to and I’d urge you to listen to their suggestions but for me theres no blame or guilt at all.
Its frightening to realise this could in reality happen to any one of us at any time, you were just the unlucky one.
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Just read an article in the Buckingham Advertiser which says there was two accidents at the same place both with elderly females and both involving lorries.
Could it be that your accident wasn’t the first attempt?
m1cks:
Just read an article in the Buckingham Advertiser which says there was two accidents at the same place both with elderly females and both involving lorries.
Could it be that your accident wasn’t the first attempt?
Yes, that is a bit of a strange coincidence.
We are also investigating a separate road traffic incident around the same location at about 10.30am on the same day. This involved an elderly female pedestrian and a lorry, although no injuries were believed to have been caused during the incident.
Harry Monk:
m1cks:
Judehamish:
I really think that the moderators should close this thread as it contains too many details that can identify the deceased. Maybe the more sensitive thing to do would be to start a post saying that unfortunately some time ago you killed a pedestrian in unfortunate circumstances.No, believe it or not this is a way in which the OP can get help and express thoughts that they may otherwise keep to themselves. No guarantee it will make any difference or be more effective than professional help but realising that it has happened to others who have got back behind the wheel may help.
I have hit a person and know three drivers who have had fatal crashes (same with Drift - buses and people don’t mix)
This can be a very dark time of year for some people - maybe we should all just spend a bit of extra effort with people we know to see how they really are.Agree, there is absolutely no reason whatsoever why the thread should be closed. Even if a person did trawl the internet and discover the identity of the deceased lady, it would only be because it had been reported in the mainstream media. If the OP wants to talk about his experience, and others here can offer advice then I really can’t see the problem with that.
The OP has had nothing but support from the comments here, sadly some left by members who know what the OP is now going through. Where else could the OP get understanding like that, other than somewhere like here? To close this thread you’re basically cutting off the OP’s first step towards dealing with what’s just happened…
Agreed that details should be left out, and those that want to hunt the web for those should keep it to themselves and not post here please, as they probably do threaten keeping this thread open!
Hi mate, I was passing by that day and saw you parked up and a polise was talking to someone that could have been you.I can’t imagine what you’re going through.As said by other please go and see a PROFESSIONAL and get some help, you might think you don’t need it but you do.Hope you pull through as best as you can.
Do seek professional help. I knew of a train driver who had a person commit suicide in front of his train. He never did get back to work.Christmas is wonderful for the majority of people ,but it is sheer hell for a significant minority.
Guys, thanks for your comments, and I take them all in. i dont want to start any discuusions, just to let you know one thing. i NEVER make a phone call when driving, but will answer on my bluetooth. i see truckers all the time on their phones, and know some of them will have been calls they made, not answered. The police were thorough in checking my two phones so I was OK there, but think where I would be now if I had made an outgoing phone call when it happened, and I don’t just mean in your bad books. If its not hands free, don’t use it!! Its never going to be worth it if something happens. Once again guys, thank you, and I’ll be back again on other topics.
I hope you had a nice Christmas and all the best for the new year mate not a nice thing to happen to anyone. Condolences to the family of the woman sadly killed as well.